How should I handle this?

Question

I work at a day care in the infant/toddler room. We have a policy that each child is allowed to play with what ever toys are available on any given day. It is against this policy to restrict any child from playing with a certain toy at anytime unless another child is already playing with the toy.
We have a little boy in our room whose father demands that we only let his son play with "boy toys". He only wants his son to play with trucks, blocks and such. NO DOLLS are permitted. It is the same with his daughter who is also in this room. She is not allowed to play with trucks or such. He states only "girl toys" for her.
Do with go with this father's directions or not? How do we get him to accept our policy as is?

Answer 1

When a parent signs a contract and enrolls their child in a center they are saying they understand and will abide by the policies. I would firmly tell the father that it is this centers policy to allow children to expand their imagination and play with a variety of toys of their choosing. And you can not limit the toys they play with.

Answer 2

Ah in a perfect world we could give orders and they would always work out and everyone would be happy. BUT in this day that is not the case. Unfortunately this gentleman should find another day care where they can abide by his rules. Children should have freedom of choice (within reason). Boys playing with dolls, and girls playing with trucks is great! What imagination children have. This father obviously has a power issue and unfortunatly the children will pay the ultimate price and not be able to use their imagination to it's full extent. I would advise him to find somewhere else for his kids!

Answer 3

Stick with the center's policy. I'm sure it was in the literature somewhere, and if not, write it up for him. If he has a problem, he can try to teach his kids to play with the toys he wants them to on their own... Or take his kids someplace else.

You don't separate the boys and girls by room, so it's really beyond your resources to monitor kids that way. And kids benefit from exploring their interests.

Really, goodness sakes, does he have no clue how hard this is going to backfire on him? He is creating such issues for his children. I hope they rebel all over him. There is no surer way to make something so attractive to a young child as to forbid it.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

To be honest, he is paying for your services and if he has a specific request that is not distracting you from doing your job I see no problem with it. You may not agree with his way of thinking but they are his children and what he is doing is not abusive so abide by his request. Mind you, you do have other children to tend to as well so if his son happens to be playing with a Cabbage Patch Doll for few minutes or his daughter is racing little "Jimmy" with toy cars there really isn't much you can do except remind the children their father does not wish for them to play with these particular toys.
On the other hand if you feel very strongly about this policy, explain it to him and if he does not approve of it maybe another daycare facility would suite him better.
Personally, I think it's healthier for children to have access to many types of toys.

Answer 6

The father obviously has issues, The only thing you can do, is explain to the father that you do not have a discrimination policy, and you allow children to play with whatever toys are available. He is quite welcome to try to find another day care, that does discriminate.

Answer 7

To me it sounds like the father is insecure with his own sexuality, it ashamed of it and therefore trying to "force" his children to not be like him.

I'd tell him your policy and that if he disagrees with it that he is more than welcome to seek alternative child care. It's your policy, do the right thing and enforce it and hopefully any daycare he goes to will do the same. There is nothing wrong with children playing with "opposite sex" toys - I played with G.I. Joes, toy guns and all the boy things growing up and I'm perfectly straight.

Answer 8

Let the child play with whatsoever boy or girl toys.....the father can choose to enroll his kids in another daycare if he wishes...but he will run out of luck....or he hires a private nanny.

Answer 9

This " Father " is going to mess up his child's life. Just let the kids play with any toys. He will never notice

Answer 10

(1) his children are going to create difficulties for the others, challenging boys "why are you playing with dolls" etc

(2) there is always going to be tension between you, becuase you don't appreciate or respect each others views, even if you try to obey them

Seems to me you are set for a lose lose situation, and you explain to the father that you have your style that the other children and parents are comfortable with, and you can't suddenly change to accommodate him, therefore if he doesn't approve he needs to find a nursery that can handle his children as he wishes .... but please don't because we think it will be wrong for your children.