I've been seeing my flatmate on and off for nearly a year. Last night I was very drunk and told him some things that have upset me and made me angry about him. Today he's finished it because, he says, that I've obviously got deep rooted issues about him. He's said he's not angry with me and wants us to continue beng close friends, but sex is out. I asked him if he would be jealous if I started seeing someone else and he said yes but he wouldn't show it because he wants me to be happy. Only earlier this week he was telling me he adored me, now today he's telling me although his feelings haven't changed and he still fancies me he doesn't want to be with me. What the hell!!???
2007-04-09 05:34:40 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is being respectful enough to be honest with you, that even though he cares very much for you, he cares more for your happiness, and if you led him to believe you have problems with him, then he is backing off so you can have some room to figure things out. i suggest you decide if you want a relationship with this guy and when you do, sit down and talk with him. He seems decent enough.
2007-04-09 05:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by american_muscle_101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the sex is out cause you hurt his feelings and thats the only thing that he feels can protect those feelings. Men are very reactive and his behaviors/decisions are partly because his feelings were bruised. Him telling you that he'd be jealous shows that he still wants you to an certain extent. if you are interested in maintaining a "relationship" with him then you will have to clarify/explain those issues that pissed you off with the guy and see if there is a common ground to stand on. It sounds like you still want to have him so clean up the bad vibes and see if his ego can be repaired
2007-04-09 05:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Keith C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but ARE YOU KIDDING? You got drunk, unloaded on the poor guy everything you hate about him, and can't understand why he doesn't want to be with you? If I were him I would be packing my bags right now. You probably said things that were very personal and hurtful and words can never be taken back. It's obvious he loves you as he says he isn't angry, he's just VERY VERY hurt. Another good example of why people shouldn't drink. Use this as a lesson
2007-04-09 05:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by alfthecarpenter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly he doesn't understand the way you truly feel about him. If you don't want to lose him, you need to tell him how you feel...but leave out the bad stuff this time. The last talk let him know that you were not happy with him or the relationship, I guess that wasn't what you really had in mind.
Maybe you need to consider if you have a drinking problem.
2007-04-09 05:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes just pissed off that you don't think he's absolutely perfect in every way. Thats the way men are, they dont like to be told anything negative. Don't worry about it. Apologise to him, and tell him you never meant for it to hurt him.
Me and my partner are absolutely inseperable, and i love him dearly. Buy GOD does he annoy me! Its just normal, everyone has little things they do that are annoying, and because you live together, youll notice his annoying habits more. (like leaving the microwave door open, peeing on the toilet seat, not replacing the loo roll when its finished....you know the kind of thing)
Good Luck, don't worry
x
2007-04-09 06:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you said too much lastnite, you probably made him think that deep doen you didnt like him that much.you have to watch what you say when your drunk, sometimes people can be really crude without tryna be, it is also the way you say it too.you probably hurt his feelings, and then you ask if he would get jealous, that probably wasnt the thing to do either, now he really thinks you dindnt want to be with him
2007-04-09 05:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by mommyshake55 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
" I asked him if he would be jealous if I started seeing someone else and he said yes but he wouldn't show it because he wants me to be happy"
Guys always say this. We never mean it.
2007-04-09 05:40:47 · answer #7 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it but it sounds like you scared the guy off with whatever you said when you were drunk.
2007-04-09 05:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by ~**TTC#2**~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Be alone for a while. Before you start dating again consider moving to avoid any potential drama.
2007-04-09 05:39:46 · answer #9 · answered by Maize 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a really indecisive guy on your hands. Just move on and let him sort it out on his own. If he decides to return to you as a boyfriend, then he will. But don't let the grass grow under your feet waiting for him!
2007-04-09 05:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋