My long-distance relationship with a guy always go on and off. I'm in Malaysia and he's in New York. We were okay and then he got drunk once and slept with his ex. He apologized but I insisted on splitting. Since then he became depressed. He wasn't doing good at all, his sis told me. And his mom was mad at me as she blamed me for making his son suffer. So after he begged me several times, I accepted him again. We were doing just great but lately he had been pushing me to have sex. I am against the idea of sex before marriage and he just couldn't wait. One day he called me and said he had met a girl that could make him happy. So we splitted. I was a total wreck after the break. I didn't know how he was doing.
Recently he called me and said he's depressed about the break up too and said he shouldn't have done it. He wants us to be back together again and he has dumped the girl. I was unsure after all that we've been through.
Please help me coz this involves his sanity too. Thanks!
2007-04-09 04:37:19 · 39 answers · asked by bloodyhoney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first of all, decide whether you really want to stay with him or not. Do you really love him? If you do, then go back to him, if you don't then run as far away as you can from him. Don't stay because you pity him coz you will eventually regret it. don'tlet him force you to have sex with him if you dont want to bec. if he really loved you then he should respect your decision. if he doesnt respect your wishes now, on such an important issue, how do you think will he act if your married already?believe me, it won't change for the better. if you're unsure of how you feel for him, then wait, think it over till you're sure of your feelings. don't get pressured by his threats, or his depressive state of mind. where was he when you were a total wreck?
2007-04-09 04:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by gracie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say no. its not fair that he can come and go out of your life, when he pleases. sounds like he needed sex, and now that he had it....he's ready to come back. who knows when he will decide to leave again or sleep with an ex-girlfriend. long distance is tough for anyone, and not having sex is especially tough for any guy. if he loves you....he should have no problem waiting.
who cares if he is depressed now...remember how you felt when he left for another girl...he didnt much care then, did he?
trust is always hard, but worse when not living in the same place. the trust has been broken....which screws up the whole relationship.
relationship advice is tricky, because it's hard to tell someone what to do when love involved. follow your heart (but try not to ignore your brain) only take him back, if you know he is serious, and you are both willing to work really hard to make the relationship healthy again. he is lucky to have you even consider. good luck
2007-04-09 04:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by anamaye 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he knows how to get what he wants from you when it comes to getting back together. He's playing on your sympathy and he's bringing his family into it as well. I don't think you should get back together with him since he's cheated on you, and when you refused to have sex with him because of your beliefs, he dumped you and got it somewhere else. Then when he was bored with it, he came back. It sounds like he just wants to be your first! But when he can no longer hold out, he dumps you and gets something to cool him off. So my advice is don't take him back no matter what kind of "depression" he says he has. If he honestly and truely loved you, he would respect your decision about sex and support you in it. This time, don't call him, chat with him or answer his calls because he's just gonna try to make you feel guilty like he's done before.
2007-04-09 04:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Cliff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His sex button is on, and yours isn't activated. If you firmly believe in no sex before marriage, it looks like you need to cut this off.
He has shown he can stray without sexual contact, though he does seem to want to have you only, and truth is he's more than a little out of control. You don't know if you can keep him since you don't know if you are compatible. Have you even kissed him? Do you even like him that way? You don't have to go "all the way" to find out if there's a spark.
This is a big decision for you, but it should be the last time for keeping either him or your chasteness. Good luck either way.
2007-04-09 04:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no do not take him back. the first time he messed up you gave him a chance then he tries to manipulate you in to something you do not wish to do such as sex. After he disses you again for another. He has proved he is not worthy of your trust. If you take him back he will hurt you again. The guy is a loser. If he truly had cared for you he would not have messed up the second time. That he is depressed and feeling low don't let that worry you that is his problem not yours. He got what he choose. When he told you the second time he had met someone. He didn't care that you would be hurt or how you felt. Why should you care when he's hurt...don't take him back I wouldn't.
2007-04-09 04:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to come on here and ask the question.. then you're not ready to take him back. It sounds like this boy is using his family as a pawn. I would advise you stay friends, and if in the future.. when he's calmed down.. you still want to be together, then go for it. Youre so far apart.. it's not going to make a difference whether you have a label on your relationship or not. I would put a friendship tag on it for now. :) Good luck
2007-04-09 04:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by Becca319 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Umm my best advice is let the guy go. For one he doesn't respect you at all because he slept with his ex and two he broke up with you so he could be with someone else. Even more so only so he could have sex with someone else. Third he doesn't respect your morals. A guy who has three strikes is out in my book. He had his three strikes.
About his mother she can not blame you for something he son messed up on. She really needs to be looking at herself and realize she should've taught her son to have better morals then to cheat on his g/f.
And about his sanity he'll move on. From the sounds of it he will probally get drunk one night sleep with some girl or his ex again and be over the relationship.
Honestly he just sound like hes a looser and you can do WAY better!!
Sorry if it sounds harsh but I have been through a similar experience and I wasn't happy when I realized my friends had sugarcoated everything for me. It really didn't help me any in the long run.
I hope I helped you out.
2007-04-09 04:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by Brittany Leigh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he seems like the kind of guy who can take what he can get when he can get it and in a long distance relationship that doesn't bode to well. For the sake of your sanity I'd say let him go especially since you have different ideas about sex (waiting until after marriage). As far as his sanity goes I think he'll find it with the next girl to come along that will put out.
2007-04-09 04:44:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ben R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will be very sweet of you to take him back, but there is a saying that goes like this "once man cheats, he remain a cheater."At lies I think it goes like that. The only thing i can tell you is to go with your instinct. In case you pick to go out with him again and he pull that trick don't wait to dump him.
2007-04-09 04:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mizzy14k. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You were really really kind taking him back the first time, and after he blew you off for another girl and is making you feel uncomfortable, and since your relationship IS on and off, you need to get out now. I know it'll hurt, but in the longrun I think it's best for ya : )
2007-04-09 04:42:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋