So I went out with this guy last Friday. The date was great. We have dinner, hit a bar and later to a club. We end up making up at the club. He got really excited (if U catch my meaning) at the club. On the way to drop me off, he told me that he usually "gets" the girl...and then he added "that's not a bad thing, right?" I personally never "go home" with a guy on the first date...no matter how good the date was. Anyhow, I told him that "tonigh U R going home alone" I did mention that I had fun. Anyways, before I got aout of the car I give him a last kiss. The next morning he called and asked if I wanted to go to the movies...I say no thanks. So he mention that next weekend we could perhaps go out again. I told him yes to that.I really like him. But he is a player and he did told me he is not interested in a relationship at this point. But I don't know...I don't want to sleep with him if I'm going to be "one more to the black book". So, what do I do if I want to keep him around?
2007-04-09 03:28:23 · 20 answers · asked by Bri 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My advise is that you play the game -- I'm not saying sleep with him or anyone else for that matter -- but remain mysterious yourself -- you did the right thing by saying no to him and also saying you didn't want to go ou again the next night -- so keep it up - make it so he is the one contacting you the majority of the time -- every now and then text him with hi -- and ask him what's up... stuff like that. Of course you have to keep him interested so don't be a ***** to him -- just be yourself -- you'll probably make yourself out to be a friend at first but that's not a bad thing -- you will be in control and you won't put yourself in the way of getting hurt or anything like that.
2007-04-09 03:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he's a player he might change at any time especially if he finds the right girl.He is prob not use to a girl not sleeping with him so your a breath of fresh air to him.I would keep your foot down n not sleep with him unless there is a relationship n that u r sure he is your n no 1 elses.When u go out with him this next time let him no how u feel.Exactly what u said here.Tell him u like him but don't want a 1 night stand.U r looking for a relationship.Actually wait till your 3 date b4 saying that.If he is serious n he's not just trying to get u in bed then he will date u n he will wait.If he doesn't then he isn't the 1 for u.Good luck
2007-04-09 10:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by too4barbie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be doing good. I knew a guy that told me he didn't want a relationship and I did so I quit seeing him. Before I knew it he had a new girlfriend he married within a year. So don't read a whole lot into it when a guys says he doesn't want a relationship. It really depends on the girl. You're already 1 notch higher than most girls because you said no and you're not over eager to see him. Keep it up and keep getting to know him. You have to play the game, which sucks, to win this one but most guys throw away the black book for the right one.
2007-04-09 10:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by teana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess only you can only answer that. With STD's and all the stuff going around now days he might be a risk. On the other hand just because he has been a player doesn't mean he is playing you. Maybe he hasn't ever really found the one he loves. If that's the case, great, if not I don't blame you for not wanting to be played. If I were you make a sober judgment if he is playing you, if he is and you don't want the risk or don't want to be played lose him...
2007-04-09 10:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was very blunt that all he wants is an addition to his list and is not interested in a relationship...so I would keep searching. Lots of great men are single and looking for a relationship. If you wanted to try to hang out with this guy as friends he most likely is going to stop calling after a certain amount of dates without putting out.
2007-04-09 10:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the sentence "But he is a player and told me he is not interested in a relationship at this point", is a red flag. He is letting you know that if you sleep with him he wont consider it to be a relationship. If this is what you want, don't go to the movies with him, talk to him by all means, but say NO to players.
2007-04-09 10:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You went out with the guy once. What does having a relationship have to do with any of it? Both of you should want to to date other people as well. That is the only way to know if you want to be with each other exculsively or not.
If you like him, keep dating him. If things work out, then he will eventually only want to be with you. Same goes for you.
A solitary date shouldn't mean a committment.
Remember... there ARE ex-players out there too.
2007-04-09 10:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by David J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun... a guy like that can only mean trouble....If he's a player than you know there's alway gonna be another girl. Do you really want a relationship knowing you're girl number two? Or a relationship to last?
2007-04-09 10:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by psychochicka14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is easy, if that is what he wants and you don't want that don't waste your time. if you are looking for some one to get up with time to time and have as a friend with benefits then no problem. but from the sounds of it you want something a little more serious and that is understandable. you wont be able to get that from him and neither can you change him and make him ready for something he isn't ready for. dont get your emotions involved and get hurt.
2007-04-09 10:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by benita g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he thinks you are going to be a booty call.....
so if he tells you he isn't interested in a relationship.. what do you think he is interested in calling you for?
especially if he tells you the first night" he usually gets the girl"
that has BOOTYCALL all over it.. leave him alone till he grows up.... you said he is a player.... he will play you .. he gave you all the information you need to make a choice.. listen to what he tells you
2007-04-09 10:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋