My boyfriend; I love him to death. But there are times when I feel he is too polite. He opens doors for me and lets me go first, which I love. But he addresses everyone, even my 9 year old sister, as ma'am or sir (even me sometimes!). My older sister even made fun of him for cutting his eggroll with a knife and fork at a chinese restaurant! He also always puts his napkin on his lap and shakes everyone's hand. Am I just being paranoid or stupid? My family is not like that at all. Maybe I'm just immature; I just turned 18. Please I want you guys' advice!
2007-04-09 02:58:03 · 16 answers · asked by Naomi316 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Being over polite can be as irritating as being rude. That's for sure........
2007-04-09 03:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by P'quaint! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think you're paranoid or stupid...what you sound like is embarrassed. Is he from the South? Typically boys are raised to call all females "ma'am" when they come from the south. Even if he's not, it is irrelevant in my book. It sounds like he was raised to be a gentleman, kind and considerate to women. If he treats total strangers with kindness like that, imagine how he is going to treat you, his girlfriend!
If it really bugs you that he calls YOU ma'am, ask him why he does it. Don't put any parameters on how he treats other people, because it's clear he is a good person and you don't want to change that inherent part of him. So only bring up something that has to do with you. If he gives you his reason why he calls you that, then you can go from there and decide to ask him to stop (nicely!) or leave it be.
At 18 you are probably still in the mode where you are concerned about what other people think of you and who you date...like your sister who made fun of you. She's either immature or jealous! I remember being that way in high school too. It's all about image and being cool, accepted, etc. But if this is the biggest complaint you have about him, I'd say he's a keeper.
2007-04-09 03:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anon Chicago 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calling your nine year old sister "ma'am" verges on crazy; and is inappropriate.
Cutting an egg roll is not inappropriate. There are ways to eat nearly all foods served at a restaurant with the utensils provided (except potato chips, etc.,) , so that is probably just the way he was raised; and where I live it is expected.
It sounds likes he's trying hard, perhaps you should give him some credit for that, and some time to decide whether he is sincere or if it is a show.
2007-04-09 03:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound like he's too polite. Sounds like he was raised to show respect to everyone. Being too polite is only a problem if people walk all over the guy. And I eat my eggrolls with a knife and fork! So what? You might have to ask yourself if your family isn't polite enough.
2007-04-09 03:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I once dated a guy that was like that, and it does get annoying at times, but I would rather be with someone that is always polite. Sounds like your boyfriend is a great guy and you are lucky to have found someone like that, especially this day in age. :) I think everyone should be more polite like that and there would be a lot less problems in the world.
2007-04-09 03:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Etiquette is the art of making people feel comfortable.
You're not paranoid or stupid you just have a drastically different comfort level than he does. Part of relationships is finding that compromise between what works 4 u and what doesn't.
2007-04-09 03:04:01 · answer #6 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, that is perfect. I don't know why your not bragging. You never see that in guys any more. There all gangsters and pot smokers and hits girl and stuff. I think your lucky, if you don't want him can I have him.. lol. My parents would love that. That's just how he was raised he can't help it and I think it's a good quality and it will be good when you guys get older together and he's still nice and polite.
2007-04-09 03:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by crymeariverthendrowninit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes nervous. When I am nervous I usually become overly polite or don't speak at all.
Why don't you ask him? "Why are you so polite?" See what he has to say.
By the way does he ever ask you for anything? Or try to do all the work by himself?
I suggest getting him to relax, see how he is with his friends.
I think he is a bit too formal and needs to relax.
2007-04-09 03:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by Young one 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes there is such thing as being too polite.. whether its good or bad depends on the person judging. if his always polite and gives in to all your requests u might find him too easy and your love for him might fade. women nowadays want a man who doesn;t cave in to every request.. is he even a little playfull or does he tease u at all? if the answer is no. its gonna be pretty boring..
2007-04-09 03:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he sounds fine, but it sounds like he's just really different from you and what your used to which is why it's bothering you.
but yes, you can be too polite. often people are so polite it seems fake and insincere.
this guy seems sincere though so if you really like him, give it a chance.
but you're still young so if it's not working, let go - no point getting into something if you don't want to be.
2007-04-09 04:34:08 · answer #10 · answered by so_tired88 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in case you seem on the question in a truly distinctive way and ask, "is there this sort of ingredient as no longer being impolite, boorish and thoughtless adequate?" then the respond turns into straight away obtrusive. protecting doors and apologising for errors surely does not make a guy or woman seem vulnerable - purely truly mediocre persons intentionally behave rudely with the intention to make themselves seem sturdy, which of course it does not.
2016-10-21 10:26:54 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋