He is a widower and has 2 kids that are 11 and 6. I love him and the kids very much and want to be with them for the rest of my life. We are also planning on having another baby after we are married. Everyone was fine with this until we got engaged, now his best friend (and best man at the wedding) is saying hes not sure if he will stand in the wedding cuz he doesn't know if he agrees with us getting married. This is very hurtful to my fiance and to myself as i thought that his best friend liked me. Does anyone else see a problem with us getting married and raising a family together?
2007-04-09 00:52:03 · 23 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No. It is what you make of it. How much of a best friend is this guy when he won't stand up for your fiance?? That says a lot of his character. Hopefully the two of them will work it out. My advice would be to stay out of it for now. Men have a way of working things out that is beyond my comprehension, plus you don't want to be seen as meddling at this point. Sooner or later everyone will come around. Show them how happy you are and that no matter what you're going to stick it through. They'll come around when they realize that they have to accept the relationship or not have one with you.
2007-04-09 00:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's a big problem - and his best friend is doing the absolutely right thing. He should refuse to countenance the wedding because it is just not right.
Look, he could be your dad - c'mon, how could that be possibly right. If you have been together five years, that means you were 18 and there is something SAD about a grown man in his 40s going after a teenager -
2007-04-09 12:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you two have been together for 5 years says a lot. I have a feeling though that his best friend DOES like you but the fact that you are so young and he probably doesn't want to see his friend get hurt in the longrun. Age is just a number but once that number starts getting higher and age starts to settle in, you aren't going to be feeling the same way (I mean that is probably what his friend is thinking -- I don't know you so I'm not judging). This is a good guess.
2007-04-09 07:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
While it's not impossible for two people with such a huge age difference to have a happy marriage, the odds are that you won't. Your boyfriend, rather than you, should talk to his best friend/best man about his change of heart to find out what's going on. Really think through this decision, it is a huge undertaking.
2007-04-12 15:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that as long as you were just the 'young hot girlfriend' it was okay but to actually make a commitment to you is somehow inappropriate in the eyes of the friend. Frankly, if that's the case this friend is NOT being a very good one.
Try not to let it get you down!
Congrats!
2007-04-09 09:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the rush to get married? I thought most women were marrying later in life nowadays. I'm older than your bf and I've never been married, and neither has my bf -- we've lived together happily for over twenty years.
I wouldn't rush into having children, either; there's plenty of time for that.
2007-04-09 08:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by evamariehoople 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, not at all, been with my hubby for almost 8 years and i am 27 and he is 41 and we couldn't be happier and i also have a stepson who i adore and more children with him!! Go ahead ignore all others and enjoy your wedding and future with the man of your dreams!!!
2007-04-09 07:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by ballarinababyz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...he's not right. I can believe you love him but in essence, he's been with you since he was 40 and you were 18. Not good...I don't care how much you love him, something's wrong with your fiance. Believe it or not, his friend is not going to co-sign a destructive move like that. And if nothing else, you've got a lot of life to live. Oh!!!!!, this is awful.
2007-04-09 08:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Emerald Jones 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'll be honest it bother me.... me and my mother are only 20 years apart... it would creep me out if a friend of mine was marrying someone older then both my parents. Luckily, his kids are still young and it doesn't sound like you have that issue but from the friends view- does he have kids your age?? It would make a difference on a persons point of view.
2007-04-09 08:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you truley love this guy you shouldn't worry about what others think. If you still can't get these thoughts out of your mind though, perhaps your skeptical about your relationship? Either let it go and ignore other peoples views, or sort out your own feelings about the situation.
2007-04-09 07:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋