Does anyone have any tips to discipline strong willed kids?

Question

I am having trouble with my 7 year old. He doesn't listen, he back talks, gets in trouble at school, he is sneaky and his bad behavior is rubbing off on his younger sisters. He is also aggressive with his sisters if they don't do what he wants. He has been diagonsed with adhd and he is taking medicine and it works some what but not 100%.. I was just hoping to find a method to disipline him that I haven't thought of or tried.

Answer 1

I am from India. I am also a pshycology student. Give them love and if he is the oldest he might feel left out. Talk to him all the time. Always be loving no matter what. But draw the line and be strict. Have rules that all follow and dont give partiality to any of the kids. Equal and fairness for all.

He has to learn to accept no so make that a habit. Dont give him everything and dont say yes to anything that he wants but which he doesnt need first.

Teach teach teach the kids. Make them learn and understand. Buy a book about child psychology and you might learn a lot. It helps for moms coz every stage is a learning experience and if you go wrong once you might lose your kids for life.

Answer 2

Find something for him to do constructively to keep his mind occupied. L:ike sports, afterschool programs, chess, or some kind of math program. Do not allow him to watch too much TV. When he does watch TV, he should not watch any violence. Remove video games. There has been some studies to show that violence on the TV and video games will impact your chldren with violence, some are even saying that they believe ADHD and the amount of TV and computer games may be related.

Also, watch his food intake. He needs non processed foods. Minimal sugar, remove all candy. Replace with grapes and strawberries. But remember fruits have high sugar as well. it is a natural sugar so it is much better than candy, but do not let him go overboard on the fruits either. He needs a balanced meal, lots of fruits and vegetables. When I was in grad school, one of my classmates had a child that was diagnosed with ADHD. She researched and found a correlatin between processed foods, she found a chemical that will cause the children to react negatively. She started cooking more at home from scratch and eliminating fast foods. She found that it helped her child, it may also help yours.

Also he may be acting out if his Dad is not in his life or does not spend a lot of time with him. Or for another reason. You may want to let a school counselor talk to him.

Moreover, if he is on medication, it takes a while to get the dosage right. You do not want him overdrugged because he will be a zombie. Then under medicated causes other problems. Unfortunately, his body is changing because he is a child, it will be a constant push and shove to get tyhe medication dosgae right, and then it will change, becasus he will change.

However, no ,atter what please do not use his adhd as an excuse. Yes he does have adhd, yes it is going to be a problem. But you do not wanthim to l learn to use it as a crutch. There are many well behaved kids with adhd and then there are others. Just like the ones that are not adhd. The key to ADHD, is to keep him busy with constructive things to do. Othgerwise, he will find something to keep him busy, and you willnot like it/

Mom, do not feel alone. There is plenty of research and resources out there to help you. I know at times it is overwhelming, but just stick with him. Motherhood is full of ups and downs and many challenges, but it is all worth it in the end.

Answer 3

The most difficult thing about being the parent of a child with ADHD is that you become exhausted. It makes it difficult to follow the cardinal rule of discipline which is consistency. My heart goes out to you it can wear you out however you must choose a method that you are comfortable with and no matter how busy, tired or frustrated you become you must follow through to the letter. Children look for chinks in the armor and ADHD can spot those chinks a mile away. You will find though that if you are constant about your discipline and ever vigilant it will pay off and you will have a child that is much easier to live with.

Answer 4

for most children, having time out in a certain specific spot,,,,, and having clear cut rules,,, written down,,,,,,, works well. if you havent tried this, you could,,,,,,, write his rules down,,,,,,,, divide it into the ones which get an automatic time out (such as hitting), and others which will have a warning first, then time out (back talk etc.) then use it,,,, each and every time he does the wrong action,,,,,,,, no extra warnings,,,,,, set the limit he sits for 5 minutes,,,, get yourself a little kitchen timer,,,, or use your microwave timer,,,,,, use the same method with his sisters,,,,,,,, if they are very young,,, make the time to sit less,,,,,,

make sure and have an special time each day to spend with him one on one,,,,,,,, even if its for just 15 minutes,,,, blow bubbles,,,, play chase,,,,, color a page together,,,,,,,,

another idea, to use along with the others, is to have a bonus,,,,,, maybe get those little stars,,,,,, and for the days he improves his behavior (at the start that could even be only having few time outs, or sitting in time outs properly,) give him a star,,,, it could even be a check mark on a calendar,,,,,, when he has earned 5 or ten stars/checks, he gets a special toy,,, something small, purchase that toy and have it perhaps on top of the fridge,,,, show it to him then put it away,,,,,,,,, we all strive harder when we think a bonus is a stake, a tangible one we will be rewarded with,,,,,,

not sure what discipline you have used in the past with him,,, some children are just very strong willed,,,, though his adhd probably enhances it,,,,,,,,, you really need to start very young with children,,,,, by age 2 at least,,,, but you can catch up, just be steady and unwavering,,,,,,,,, it takes effort, but does work in the long run,,,,,,,

Answer 5

I also have an ADHD son. Nothing has seemed to work yet 100% of the time. I try to take things he treasures away, like music, telephone, having friends over, etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't faze him at all. Another tactic I've been trying is listing all the rules of our home and the punishment of each if they are broken, so he knows the ramifications of every rule he breaks, no ifs ands or buts about it. With ADHD kids, consistency is the key. You have to regiment their lives, make everything as clear as possible and stick to it. That's the hard part for me, sometimes as parents his Dad and I don't stick to what we say and let him get away with things. You have to be firm, and let him know that the things he does effect others, but also make him feel loved and wanted even though he is difficult to deal with. Sometimes it seems I talk and talk and talk to my son and he hears nothing, but I can't give up, he's my son and I love him to much. I just keep telling myself eventually my hard work will pay off.

Answer 6

Get the Book "How to Talk So Kids WIll Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." Awesome book, easy to apply techniques, supporting the goal of teaching SELF-DISCIPLINE.

It sounds like you've punished him with spanking. That makes lots of kids sneaky (avoid punishment, don't change behavior) and it makes them angry and resentful. Another thing that causes problem and makes kids anger is did he spend much time in day care before age 3? This is strongly correlated with aggression and weakens family relationships, lowering motivation to behave and increased willingness to hurt other family members.

Answer 7

sounds like he's related to my son. he is now 21 but, was the same way when he was young. it was a long road with him. very long. i figured out he was a very frustrated and stressed out kid. and bored. he had so much going on his head he didn't know what to do with it. i had a terrible time disciplining him too. i learned to watch for cues in his behavior. cutting him off at the pass,so to speak worked better than trying to discipline him.that's not to say he didn't get punished, i just tried to get to him before it got to bad. channeling his energy towards something different helped too.try getting him involved in a project of some sort. i also found that if i stayed calm he responded better.consistency is key here. i know it's exhausting. really i do.but no more so than having to deal with punishing him all the time.

Answer 8

As a step discern myself the only ingredient i will help you understand is it does not get any further straightforward, there's a time to be a pal and a time to be a discern, My step son is the comparable way and he's now 18 years previous so what I did replaced into get rid of that he cherished to do the main, occasion: If he asked if he would desire to bypass to his acquaintances abode for awhile i might tell him specific as lengthy because of the fact the failings that i wanted him to do replaced into completed to my liking and if it wasn't completed he did not bypass. Or if he procrastinates on the chores i wanted him to do and if it became an argument i might initiate taking issues away like his stereo or television... something like that... however the 1st ingredient you are able to desire to do is discover out if there is something bothering her, is she comfortable with you and her Father being married... undergo in strategies those are only questions not criticism...

Answer 9

Enroll him in a good tae kwon do school. He will learn respect and discipline, but also pride in accomplishment as he progresses through the belt levels. He will also have a good outlet for his energy and aggression. Speak to the instructor privatly (without your son in attendance) and let him know some of the problems the child is having. A good instructor will listen and try to help you while teaching the child.

Answer 10

There was no medication for ADHD 20 years ago. Were the kids less strong-willed? No, but the discipline was a lot different back then.