Teenage HIV dilemas?

Question

Hello, Im HIV posotive and have been since I was born, Im 13 and thinking of boys but If I get a boyfriend do I tell them im posotive straght away or not tell him at all or wait to tell him? If I tell him he might dump me or tell people that I didnt want to tell. He might be nasty to me or act wierd. There are alot of things to consider. Its also hard at my age cos they dont have online dating sites for teens that are posotive. Only for adults. I would quite like a boyfriend now but I dont know what to do.

Please give me senseble answers, Its not a joke.

Thank you!
xxx

Answer 1

The only reason why you have to tell him is if you are going to have unprotected sex with him. If you plan on having sex then make him use a condom. That is the only reason why you want to tell him. But you are way to young to have sex right now. Just wait to have sex until you are older. Having to tell someone you are positive is going to be a lot more stress on you then you need. Plus he may end up telling people about your HIV status. And that is information that you don't want to get out because people are so mean. Look I dated a guy that is HIV+ and we just always used condoms. But sometimes I think that it takes an adult to understand that the reason you have this disease is not because of anything that you did but was given to you by your mom. And a young person will not understand that. Especially if they were made to fear a person who does have it ok.

Answer 2

There's a book a suggest you read. While it's not quite the same circumstances (a 13 year old girl was date raped and left infected with HIV), it deals with many of the issues you are dealing with. It's a true story.

It's called "It Happened to Nancy". You can find it in the young adults section of a book store.

It might give you some clearer insight.

Your question is a difficult one to answer. It's a double edge sword. If I tell you that you should inform any potential romantic partners right away of your status, you run the risk if becoming a social leper. At the same time, if you don't tell someone right away, people will think you are deceptive.

Read the book and see if it helps. No matter what, it will take a great deal of maturity for a potential boyfriend to deal with a girlfriend that has HIV.

Answer 3

well being somewhat related to health concerns......as i see it ur question is quite a fact these days in this world......as u explained that a boyfriend should know about ur status of being positive is not a concern here what really matters here is how would be reacting to ur status like how u wanna spend rest of ur life....thats pretty obvious nobody would actually ask or could tell easily if somebody is {HIV+ or HIV-} it might take more than just knowin someone and ask such a personal question......i believe there isnt any sort of HIV+ dating website i know of....and as u said in ur question he might act nasty or be weird about it.....then dont hide ur status.......when u like someone or get a boyfriend do let them know about that u were born that way........its god who chose somethin like this for u.......and if such person would want to be with u or not.....can decide....if he really has a heart ....a pure one.....and in the end.....a true friend ...no matter boyfriend would dump u by just knowin ur HIV thing...........but yeah cant even say theres a very minor chance of gettin dumped...as ya know these days everyone is alot concerned about their healthy lifestyles......by acting and performing safe procedures......but my advice goes ...that never betray anyone nor lie about ur status to others.......! because u can and will i hope stop and let this type of disease get defeated and make it easier and a pretty good lesson for everyone....out there ....by letting know that because of some stupid perverts how people ruin others life.......

Answer 4

This is your personal information. You have no obligation to tell anyone unless you are considering beginning a sexual relationship... which, considering you are only 13, I hope this isn't even on your radar yet! At this age, a boyfriend should be more of a best friend. Once you are truly close to someone and have trust and mutual respect, then you can decide to share this.

Answer 5

Plus talk with someone you know close about this a someone that live with you an adult
I know this is hard but I feel you should wait before you start dating his parent may not be ready to accept this even if he is
wait until you a little older and see what will happen because there are teen pressure and we never know what other will say about this

Answer 6

well when your 13 i dont think you will be having sex or anything yet so you shouldnt hav to worry that much,
dont tell him right away cuz yes that will scary the living shi t out of him but if you and someone get into a stronger relationship then you NEED to tell him and if really cares for you he wont care that you hav it.

do NOT keep it a secret from him tho, or anyone you become close with that is not fair to them!

hope that helps
:)

Answer 7

THERE IS A SIMPLE ANWER TO THIS QUESTION PPL! DONT OVER THINK IT! YES, LEGALLY BY LAW U HAVE TO TELL HIM SO THAT HE TAKES THE RISK BY CHOICE AND NOT BY BEING TRICKED INTO IT. U CAN GO TO JAIL (NO JOKE) FOR MANSLAUGHTER OR PER-IMTED MURDER! WHY IS EVERYONE OVERTHINKING THIS QUESTION BECAUSE SHE IS A CHILD....HONEY I FEEL FOR U I REALLY DO BUT U JUST NEED TO TELL THEM STRAIGHT OUT OR WAIT TILL U ARE OLD ENOUGH FOR THE HIV DATING SERVICE! IF NOT AND HE CATCHES IT B/C OF YA'LL HAVING SEX OR KISSING (I KNOW THATS ONLY A SLIM CHANCE OF HIM GETTING IT THAT WAY BUT IT CAN HAPPEN) THEN WHEN THEY PROVE IT IN COURT THAT U KNEW U HAD HIV AND HE DIDNT KNOW AND U WITHHELD THAT INFORMATION FOR HIM U WILL SO TO JAIL.

Answer 8

if your going to have sex tell him. but when u first start dating you do not need to tell him. having aids has nothing to do with the type of person you are and since you can't catch aids just by kissing and that kinda stuff then there is no need to tell him right away. by the time you guys are ready to have sex he should be comfortable enough with you and care enough about you that he would dump you and if he does you don't need him.

Answer 9

Its probably best to find someone mature and then get to know him a bit and tell him about it. If he really likes you it shouldn't bother him too much at your age - in a few years when sex is more important to you it might be different.

Answer 10

You can NOT have *** with anyone or they could get infected! Cuddling, hugging, kissing(no tongue!) holding hands, sharing drinks and anything that has no blood is OK. If you have an open cut or sore, do NOT let anyone touch it!