I'm a strict vegetarian and it's driving my bf nuts?

Question

I admit I probably control him too much when it comes to eating non-veg. I don't mind him eating meat when we're out somewhere, but bringing it home really bothers me. He lives with me in college, and I have all my own meat-free silverware and plates and then he comes in and wants to make chicken soup and pepperoni pizza and I hate the idea of it touching my stuff. We get into so many fights over this and maybe it sounds silly, but I've been a vegetarian for over 10 years and this is really important to me. What can we do to resolve this issue?

Answer 1

Just enjoy your boyfriend's meat. No dirty pun intended.

Answer 2

I know people are going to hate this answer, but I honestly don't think a relationship can work under those circumstances. Being vegetarian is about so much more than just what you eat.
You chose to give up meat for a lot of reasons, I'm sure, and obviously you are committed to the lifestyle for 10 years. Most people want to be vegetarian for ethical, ecological, spiritual and health reasons--- all of these are important to share with your partner.
If he cannot understand your ideas on this, then it seems to me you are pretty incompatible.
I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who couldn't understand these issues--- or at least be moving in that direction.
Good luck-- but I'd really be prepared for the possiblity that you two are too different to make it work. Next time look for a vegetarian guy.

Answer 3

It doesn't sound silly to me. I had this problem with an ex vegetarian girlfriend and I would buy lots of aluminum foil and cover the plates and even the pans when I cooked meat. The plates stayed clean. Then get a few distinctive utensils and a soup pot that he can use.

I also had my own small George Foreman grill.

Or do it the way I understand Kosher households do it and get some red or other color of distinctive plates and cutting boards and utensils and a pot just for meat items a different sponge and a few silverware that can't be confused with your regular kitchenware. If he's good about doing his dishes right after he cooks and eats that should work out.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

First off, don't "make him buy his own stuff". It is YOUR choice to date an omnivore, and YOUR choice to dislike the thought of him using the stuff you already have. Hello, it gets washed out when the dishes are done! Have him wash the stuff right after he's done using them, or do what everyone else said and buy distinctive eating/cooking stuff for him to use. Hey, you've already admitted you have a problem("control him too much when it comes to eating non-veg"), now work on your end of it.

Please, enlighten me as to how the guy is "being disrespectful"? She hates the idea of it "touching her stuff", not "being in the house", so him wanting to cook and eat it isn't "being disrespectful".

A couple of observations after reading some of the other answers(on this question and others): Apparently, it is OK for a veg*n to be pissed at an omnivore's choices, but not OK for an omnivore to be pissed at a veg*n's choices. And it also appears that mis-using the term "vegetarian" is BAD AND EVIL, but mis-using the term "meat-eater" is kosher. People, you want us to respect your choice, why don't you show a bit of respect for ours?

Vegan, that is one of the most *I don't know how to describe it without being insulting* things I've ever read. If animals weren't meant to be eaten, then why are there other animals that eat them? And how in the world can you compare eating meat to child molestation and slavery? And why should she make him change? He isn't trying to make her change, and since it was her CHOICE to be a veg*n and date an omnivore, SHE should be the one to accept HIM.

Answer 5

I feel you, girl. I have several roommates who all eat meat. I am the only vegetarian and the majority of the dishes in the kitchen are mine. So, needless to say, my dishes are always used for meat products.

I don't really like to buy disposable dishes just to throw them away so I make sure the girls scrub my dishes thoroughly after using them and make sure they're sanitized.

I think a good solution for you is to buy the disposable dishes though. This will cause a lot less friction between the two of you and you can both have your ways.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best!

Answer 6

You have to talk honestly with him about it. He has to understand why you are a vegetarian. It is very clear to me that you have some strong reasons for being a vegetarian and you need to tell him. He may not be bothered by your eating patterns but that is just because there is a moral reason you choose to eat this way and he eats just the way he wants to. It clearly bothers you when he brings it into you home. You must be honest with him about it.
Right now he is just your boyfriend but if your relationship continues the problem is only going to get worse. He has to make his own choices in his life and eating meat is OK with him. It is clearly not Ok with you. You can't control him to make the same choices as you have and have your relationship grow.

Answer 7

He is being disrespectful. You say YOU have your own silverware and plates, but have you considered getting him HIS own stuff to cook and serve meat in? Perhaps you could go to a thrift shop together, and pick out a pan, silverware, and plate for him. If he doesnt accepts or respect that, then I see no way around it. You have your convictions, and should stay true to them, and he should feel free to do the same with his choices. Good luck

Answer 8

he like many meat eaters does not rally grasp you devotion to being vegetarian ..If he likes to read buy him or get from the library some books ..maybe if he is informed he will truly understand your position ..this will only get worse over time for you ..and then if you marry ..it is the children .. this is not easy to resolve but in all relationships compromise is essential..I always look at it this way ...if it is so important to one party and the other can give in then do so ..that is what Love is about .. and on something else which is really important to him compromise his way .... My boyfriend , later husband became vegetarian .... with knowledge and understanding .. and My 2 sons are Vegan (both adults now) ..

Answer 9

I'm also a strict vegetarian with an all out carnivore boyfriend. Honestly, I think you need to chill out. If he gets meat on the dishes, he can wash them. If he respects your dietary decisions, then you should respect his. It will never work if you don't.

Answer 10

Insist he stop eating meat or find a vegetarian boyfriend.

If he cannot respect you enough to avoid eating meat in your house, he is simply too much of an *sshole to be your boyfriend.

If he still eats meat, you control him too little, not too much.


----
In response to the answer above, I don't see meat eating as a "choice" anymore than slavery or child molestation is a "choice." Slaves didn't choose to be enslaved, children didn't choose to be molested, and animals didn't choose to be slaughtered.

I'm sure you don't respect the "choice" of those that molest children either. And I'm also sure that if a child molester was upset with you that you abstained from that activity, that you would not consider it relevant.

Answer 11

I have a similar problem at home! My mum and brother are also vegetarian, but my dad insists on occasionally eating meat in the house. Needless to say, we all get very cross with him.

Don't abandon your morals for this joker. Just remember that chances are you won't be with him forever.