my last girlfriend revealed to me that she had herpe's after we had sex?

Question

My last girlfriend after we had been having sex for a more than a couple of months that she had genital herpe's.She said she did not think it was any big deal that she had not told me this before we had sex.I was devestated that the woman i was in love with could do this to me and have no problem with it.She said that everyone "pretty much" had herpe's these days and that it was no big deal.I was in love with her and reconciled what I saw as a shortcoming in her with myself.Later when she broke yp with me I was also devestated especially when I started getting these pimple like blood blister things.Now i dont feel like i can date anyone and I am sure she is continuing her practice of not telling people she is in contact with of her affliction.Id this right?Isn't their some kind of a public health rule that says you must not knowinlgly expose someone to a communicable disease with out informing them?
I am hurt devestated and lonely

Answer 1

You are 100% correct. It is unlawful for any individual to knowingly expose someone to any STD or pathogen through sexual or non-sexual contact. There are literally hundreds of statuates on the law books about this. There are also people in prison as a result.

Let me put this another way to you, my brother in law is a Police Officer. If he is making an arrest and that individual states that they have AIDS and tries to bite/scratch/spit on him- according to the state we live in he can legally use deadly force on that individual. It is viewed the same as if that suspect raised a firearm at that Police officer - placing that officers life in immediate danger.

There is also the civil violation to consider. A man in California contracted both Herpes and AIDS from a woman who happened to be a celebrity he was intimate with for well over a year. Turns out she knew about her condition and didn't bother to tell this guy or about 7 other people she was involved intimately with. Long story short, summary judgement in the 7 digit range. The case was appealed and went before the Supreme Court. They upheld the lower courts decision. Which is significant because they ended up using a similar ruling from Great Britain as their example. Which tells me that other countries view this the same way that the US does. I'm not sure where you live but many countries find this both criminally and civilly unlawful.

Herpes is one strange virus. It affects different people in so many different ways. Some people show absolutley no signs of it EVER. They are just carriers of it.Some people are on the other extreme, they show sign at all times. There is every conceivable combination in between those two extremes.

Also you have to be made aware that it doesn't matter if you use a condom or if the individual is showing signs of an outbreak YOU CAN STILL CONTRACT THE VIRUS.

What you describe that is happening to you could be something as simple as a bad case of jock-itch. It could also be a result of shaving your pubic area (if you do). Razor burn causes something exactly like what your describing. And it could very well be that you have contracted Herpes. Bottom line is you have to go get an STD test.......NOW. Check out Web-MD for some specific information on your symptoms in the mean time.

After you get your results and it turns out that you contracted this contact your local Police department for information on pressing charges. Another step is to hire an Attorney who is familiar with this type of civil action. Many Attorneys here in the US do not charge any fees until a verdict is delivered (with no fee to you unless they are able to collect something). Look at it this way, at the very least you will be exposing this woman publically so that others may not have to go through what you are right now.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

That was hugely irresponsible on her part. and no, not everyone, or even close to it, has genital herpes. Oral herpes yes. that's in the majority.

Tell you what though, you can be checked out by a doctor if you want to know for certain, and they have medications now that can reduce the frequency of your breakouts and reduce the chances of you passing it along to other people.

It really sucks that she clearly didn't think as highly of you as you did of her- or she'd have shared that information with you. I know it hurts now, but you're better off without someone like that in the long run. Good luck finding a more caring person in the future.

Answer 5

Do you know as easy as it is to be pi**ed at someone who doesn't tell you that they have herpes genitally, there are a few things you should consider.

1. Herpes is NOT part of a routine STD test contrary to popular belief.

2. 80% of all adults have Oral Herpes and don't disclose it when they kiss someone or perform oral sex on someone.

3. 25% of people have Genital Herpes but most are asymptomatic so they don't know they have it, therefore they don't disclose it.

4. Herpes is not a reportable disease by doctors like HIV.

5. In some countries, sometimes people can be charged with Sexual Battery for not disclosing the Herpes, however, the onus is on you to prove that you did not have Herpes previously to meeting this person. You would have to back it up with medical proof, such as past test results that you might have had for any Herpes tests. This kind of puts a spanner in the wheels when HSV isn't part of a regular STD screening and therefore, even though you think you might have been tested, you probably weren't.

6. No, there is no public health rule as such that says you MUST report it to your partners. It is just suggested that it would be the "kindest" thing to do.

7. The onus is on all people to have all their partners tested BEFORE they have sex with anyone.

8. You can still date, just like people with oral herpes still date.

Chill out dude, I know it's hard at first, but you get used to it in the end. YOU will be the only one who will stop YOU from moving on. You can't be responsible for what she might be passing on to other people. It's up to them to have her tested before they have sex with her.

It's OK to say it's not fair after the fact.
But again remember, the onus is on every individual to be responsible for their own sexual health. Including the dudes that she's yet to meet.

Check out the site below, it's good reading material and should make you feel a little better. Time will make you feel a LOT better. (((Hugs)))

Answer 6

I am sorry that you had to endure such a thing. That was very cruel and stupid can anyone be for making a statement that everyone has herpes now a days and that its no big deal.... Misery loves company and she will probly hurt as many people as she can. If I were you, I would blow up a big picture of her face and put on a flier stating that she has herpes and will not tell you that she has them untill after she sleeps with you. and post them around town like clubs shopping centers and hospitals and even the health department. make sure you state that your comments are real and not made up on the flier.. You will have that for life... you will stil be able to have relationships but make sure you admit it before sexual activity... maybe you can find another girl who has been treated badly the same way as you and you two can meet each other. You will find happiness... keep your head up... really.

Answer 7

You don't have to worry. Herpes simplex Type 2 is a std caused by Herpes simplex virus. It appears as vesicular lesion (with watery mass and red base), painless and usually will ulcerated if left untreated. The drug of choice is Pencillin G. You should have to consult with an Infectious Disease specialist or a Dermatologist for further evaluation. It can be cured if you comply with the medication. Until you are healed, you cannot have sex with other so as not to transmit with the disease. You must simply ask your ex-gf to treat herself as well so as not to transmit it. Be responsible.

Answer 8

It's a shame that someone you were in love with could be so dishonest with you, concerning such an important issue. All this could have been avoided, probably by using condoms.
Sure you are hurt, devastated and lonely, but get yourself checked at your doctor or clinic for STI's. Your life isn't ended, but you will need to inform your next partner of your misfortune. Condons will have to be used from now on.

And secondly you can try to make a civil claim against your ex. Speak with a solicitor.

Answer 9

In my random knowledge of things I would have to concur with your girlfriends thought that most people have some form of herpes and not even aware of it. If she isn't your "first" Id say more than likely you probably already have been exposed to it but didn't even know. Its the outbreaks and type that have consequences

She sounds extremely honest to me for 50 million Americans who have genital herpes, 90% don't even realize they are infected with the virus and may unknowingly infect others.

Answer 10

Dude that is serious u need to go and make an appiontment
with ur local Docter cause herpies is a serious STD and if not caught quickly can become un curable or very difficlut to get rid
of tell ur Ex she is a selfcentred ***** and try tell Quite afew ppl so she cant do it to anyone else if Revenge is on ur mind