I'm buying a house with my partner.?

Question

I have two children who live with me and he has a son who will stay weekends on a fortnightly basis. We are buying a house and the 4th bedroom for his son is quite small - big enough for a bed and it has a large cupboard in it. He wants to buy him a PS3 so he feels at home. I think its unfair for my two as that's the sort of thing you buy for birthdays and xmas (if you can afford it). He says tuff. Am I right to feel bothered by this. Its not equal treatment as far as I'm concerned.

Answer 1

NO this is unfair on your children i understand he wants to make him feel at home but this should be done in other ways like bringing some toys and games from his own house to your house and leaving him there putting posters up making the room his own the way you would your room at home. you could tell him on his nxt birthday or something you will get him a ps3 for the room.
if he is insisting that you buy this for him now well then you are going to have to get your children something too, why not suggest buying something for the 3 of them that they will all use like swings for the garden or something, as buying something just for him will be noticed by your girls and will cause problems later on.

Answer 2

i can see it from both points of view. I understand that the kids should all have equal treatment and i think that if he is going to buy a PS3, it should be for all of them, not just one. This would also encourage them to play together. I do also fully understand why your partner may want to treat his son, as he doesn't see him very often and he wants to make his kid feel comfortable. I think that you definitely need to sit down and have a light hearted chat with your partner and compromise on what to do. Try not to get bothered and worked up about it as it isn't the end of the world, its just a small issue that can be talked about and sorted. Good luck

Answer 3

I don't think that weekend Dads should have to shower goods on their children to make them feel at home. I'm sure his son would much prefer to spend quality time with his Dad and new Family. You have every right to feel ticked off, OK for a PS3 if its for the whole family to share but very selfish for the reason you have stated.
His Son will not love him any less if he doesn't have a PS3 and probably will be just as satisfied by spending and sharing his Dads time.

Answer 4

Why not buy the ps3 as a family toy? Then they can all share it. To make his sone feel more at home, I'd recommend taking him out to buy pictures or bedding to make it more cosey for him, plus it will be a good bonding experience for Dad and son.

On a side note all things being equal nothing is equal. Your children will get to see him everyday where as his son will only see him every other weekend, sometimes a little something special for one child in particular is a good thing, just make sure they all have their moment.

Answer 5

I agree with you - treats should be equal - you have to treat all the kids as equal to avoid accusations of favouritism.

I think as this will a tricky time for all the kids - adjusting to living with new people - that if you are ging to spend some money they should be given a similar amount each to spend on making their rooms their own.

A PS3 seems a bit of a daft present anyway - does he want his son to sit in his little room on his own during visits or join in with family life? Could you get a big gift for all the kids to share - something to put in the garden that they can all play with together?

Answer 6

sorry I disagree, I think it is. Remember your children will be at home with all the home comforts - his son will be coming every other weekend, and as a stranger. He'll be in someone else's home, the other kids will have their toys. Have a little thought fo rhim - the PS3 is a small price to pay if he feels like he's part of the family for two days in every fourteen and, of course, your children could probably play with it for the remaining time.
I think you have to put yourself in his shoes and remember that he will feel so left out - it's not the money here. If you want your partner to treat your children as his own, then you have to extend this to treating his son as your own too and making bigger allowances for the fact he's only here for a portion of the time.

Answer 7

If you are buying a house with your guy and you and him can't make a small decission like buying a PS3 then I would rethink buying this house. If you have your name and his name on the title for the house it will be a huge mess and battle if you have to sell the house. I would rethink living with him too. He is not respecting your wishes. If he is going to buy a PS3 for his son then he should buy something of the same vaule for your kids. He sounds controling and that my dear is dangerous. Good luck!!!

Answer 8

It sounds like your partner is making a [lousy] attempt to compensate on his lack of spending time with his son.

There are other ways to make the boy feel more at home such as planning a family trip together when he is around or any other family activity. The very little time he spends with you should be spent as quality time as he rarely gets to spend time with you to begin with.

A PS3 in his room will do nothing but confine him there which will detach him from your family (his siblings, dad and you) even more.

Answer 9

Perhaps the fair thing is for the PS3 to be made available for all the children and not restricted to one child. This may help to bring the children together.

Answer 10

costly Johnny, that's crucial that your names be on each and every thing particularly criminal issues so you may well be secure in you interest. Now you do not say in case you have detrimental credit as to why the non-public loan is purely in his call, yet once you do not then it may be terrific to have it in the two certainly one of your names. or you pass forward and get the non-public loan then pass to a attorney and get each and every thing performed in writing so as which you're the two legally secure. because of the fact if God forbid the two certainly one of you separate after say one million-5 years then he would be caught with the full own loan fee because of the bitterness of the chop up of the two certainly one of you. for the reason which you reported you would be creating one million/2 of the fee then you definately are legally entitled to one million/2 of the domicile on a chop up. with any luck you have talked this over till now figuring out to purchase this domicile to understand the implications of a chop up. IF, your substantial different does not want to get it legally settled then i could think of heavily ab out stepping into right into a settlement that i does not get what grew to become into do me if something would desire to ensue between the two certainly one of you. ultimately it is your option to do as you please besides the shown fact that that's often terrific to C.Y.A (conceal your ***) after which you does not would desire to complication in case even he defaulted on his own own loan. stable success and would God Bless!