Need some advice on breaking up?

Question

does anyone have any actual advice for breaking up with someone other than meet someone else and plenty more fish in the sea... im going to go mad if I hear that again. I feel physically sick and i can't keep my food down. I feel so low, which is unlike me.. I am trying so hard not to call him, but i can't help it. help please xx

thanks guys for some excellent advice.. its really hard, and ive never been dumped and i dont ever want to be again!!!! what do you do if the reason is poor though?? and your still completely in love with them ?>? xxx

Answer 1

Hi!

I know how you're feeling - I think every person in the world has been through this. I know it's horribe.

It all depends on the circumstances. If you both decided to break up but 'stay friends', you should politely tell him you need some space and delete his number off your phone for a while. Write it down on a piece of paper and give it to a friend or family member to look after until you're ready to talk to him again. Doing this will help you because your friends won't let you talk to him until they know you are ready.

If he dumped you and you know he wouldn't want to get back with you, or if he did something bad to you and you dumped him, don't call him. There is honestly no point. If he wants to call you, fine, but don't chase him (especially if the break up is his fault). Deleting his number will give you a feeling of power that you probably don't have at the moment. You'll actually be in control instead of letting him call the shots.

Most importantly, get out there and keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends, get a little bit drunk, go shopping. If you're short on cash or not working, get a job - it will keep you occupied all day and give you money to enjoy yourself at night. Avoid romantic movies and things that will remind you of him.

I know it's really hard for you right now, but you will get through it. During my two previous breakups, my whole world crashed down. I was feeling the way you are feeling now. The best thing to do is cut him out of your life for a while. If you guys are meant to be back together in the future, it will happen. But trust me, your life could go in a completely different direction because of this split, and in a year's time you could very well be with someone else who is better for you. It's hard to see it at the time, but trust me, life will take you where you need to go.

So keep your chin up girl. Delete his number now, rent a few dvds or games, get the girls round, plan a night out, find something to do, give yourself a makeover and get yourself looking fabulous. Trust me, it WILL get better!!

xx Emmie

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Breaking up is rarely easy. You both had feelings for each other at one point, and maybe you still do. The key is to do it maturely, without deliberate pain, so that you can both move on with your lives and find someone better suited for you. A relationship really needs two fully committed people, so if one of you doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, it's best for BOTH of you to end it. Don'T use the phone or e-mail!
If you feel like things aren't working. Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Write your feelings down on paper, and explain to him.To dump someone without so much as a phone call is insensitive, cowardly and immature. It shows an utter lack of disrespect and insensitivity towards the other person.Don't listen to "tips" like on here, everyones situation is different, you know what you have to do.don't wait for the "right moment" so to speak because it will only get harder down the road. Do it for the both of you and really think about what you are about to say to that person.breaking up can be hard for you and ur ex make sure that you NEVER use the old lines (e.g its not you its me, its not working, i like someone else) keep it straight and true because if your not true to your feelings and his then how on earth is he ment to feel?
STEP 1: Choose a semi-public setting, not too private. STEP 2: Invite the victim-to-be to meet you at the chosen spot. STEP 3: Tell the person the easiest part of the truth first i.e. you really do like him/her and that you've enjoyed your time together. STEP 4: Hit them with the ol' "but we can't be involved anymore to the extent that we have been." Make sure to give no real good reasons. STEP 5: Tell the person that you hope you can .That's all...but are you sure you don't care about him anymore?

Answer 4

Poor you.

It's a process you canot rush, you have to allow yourself space to grieve for the passing of the relationship. Acknowledge that you feel like rubbish right now but lso acknowledge that you need to take steps to standing on your feet again.

Clearing out - physically and mentally can help. Go thorugh photos of the two of you together, all the momentoes. Allow yourself to remember the good times but then put the all in a box and put them away. Write a letter to never be sent about the good times you had. Think over the things the relationship has taught you.

When you have done all that you should feel a bit better. So go out with some freinds or invite them over and try to have a good time as possible - just to prove to yourself that you can.

Now make a list of all the good things about being single or without that person - it might be nothaving to shave your legs, being able ot eat that really smelly cheese they couldn't stand or being able to go out more with your friends.

Hope fully at the end of all that you are feeling a bit more positive. Try to stay busy, don't worry if you have good days and bad days and faster than you know now you will soon be smiling again.

Answer 5

There is only this I can offer you. Cry when you need to it is then you can begin to let go. Sleep if you must it will help heal the heart. Get rid off all that reminds you of him letters gifts etc and say your good byes and throw it all away. When you are tempted to pick up the phone to call him call a friend talk to your family. Or sit down write why you feel the need to call him or stay busy take a walk. There is no cure for your broken heart and it will take time for it to heal and it will. I wish you all the luck and keep telling yourself you will love again. I did not think it was possible after the guy I dated for three years best friend broke my heart. But he did me a favor because I met a wonderful guy who I am marrying next spring.

Answer 6

this is the worst time, I know, but it's the time that good friends come into their own. Get some girlfriends together for an evening out, to make you up, dress you up, tell you how gorgeous and witty and brilliant you are and what an utter fool your ex is for not realising what a jewel he has just discarded. Go out and get drunk, have a girls' night out. OK that works for one night and distracts you from the pain but, in terms of confidence boosting, it works a treat.
For the rest of it, you know that he doesn't want you and, hard though it is, it is better to keep your dignity then grovel at his feet. I know, I've been there (omigod, I have been there so many times!!!) but if he doesn't want you then please bite your lip, sellotape the phone to its cradle, bury your mobile in the deepfreezer - anything to resist the temptation to call him. The temptation will pass, it will take a few weeks but it will, and you'll feel all the better for being able to walk away with dignity.
Good luck, now get ringing your friends ... !

Answer 7

It will take time. I would not suggest going out and finding somebody else right away. You need time to heal and if you just jump into another relationship it will be for all of the wrong reasons. You must unfortunately go through this period of being sick and feeling low. But the important thing is to come out of it and know that you are okay and that there is nothing wrong with you. My girlfriend and I broke up three weeks ago and I have called her, gone to see her, and she obviously doesn't want me back. So everyday I just have to bear it. It doesn't get any easier and I have to constantly tell myself not to call her or see her. I have to keep telling myself that she doesn't want to see me and that I will only push her further away from me. Its not the best advice that anybody could give you, but its truth from my own heart and experience.

Answer 8

its a time thing sorry.the first week you feel sick and watch the phone all week,the second week you still watch the phone but not feeling quite so sick and so on.its never a good idea to rush straight out there and find someone else,allow yourself time for yourself to make yourself stronger. there will be one day where you stop walking up and down the carpet and think today will be the first day of the rest of my life.

Answer 9

People get so wrapped up in having to be with someone. Enjoy the fact you will be single for a while. Do the things you have always wanted to do and plan for your own life not a life dependant on others.

Answer 10

have you been dumped or you want to dump someone...i have brilliant advice if you have been dumped! happy to give you advice so let me know...you can contact me on [e-mail]...if you don't contact me no problem but the best advice if you want him back is to drop all contact. I have dumped a few girls in my time and in a weird way you get off on the power when they call you and cry etc. However when one girl completely ignored me and got on with her life i found myslf questionning my decision and ended up calling her....hope this helps...ps i agree with the fella below...definitely do not call! worst thing you can do!