I want to let go of my first love b/c there are "other fishes in the sea" but i don't know if i should!

Question

I've been with my first true love a little over a year, and we're both in college. i love him dearly and care about him more than i do myself, but there are some things he does that i don't like. i think i can find someone else less protective, more talkative on the phone, adventurous, and more insightful. But im still a little in love with my first love, and i want to see what else is out there, but im afraid of letting go. i don't want to hurt him b/c he's been so loving, caring, affectionate, wonderful to me, but i think there is more i need. what to do and how to do it? i don't want to hurt him :(

Answer 1

Dump him quickly before it's too late. Nobody is perfect, but when he's the right guy you won't even notice the imperfections
You can come back to him later.
Even the phrase "less protective, and more talkative" are bad indicators

Answer 2

You know they say the grass is always greener on the other side. Why leave someone you love so much and who seems to care for you a great deal to see what else is out there. We always want what we can't have. You seem to be in a happy relationship and you most probably won't find a better boyfriend, well of course you could but he will also have his down sides. Unless you're really unhappy leave but if not enjoy the relationship and see where it takes you. If anything you could sit down with your boyfriend and tell him that you wish he more adventureous, talkative, etc and see if he makes some effort to change. No doubt there's things he doesn't like about you too so you could both make some extra effort. At the end of the day follow your heart and your heart only.

Answer 3

Life is a gambol and you have to learn to let go and swim to the other shore so to speak ,,,, Actually you'd be smart while you are still young to get as wide a range of acquaintances as you can ,,,, Don't be in such a hurry ,,,, Shop around and find out who and what's out there before you get serious about anyone ,,,, This would enable you to make a wiser decision on who you'd want to settle down with when you are ready for a more involved relationship later on ,,,, But it sounds like you've already found that more involved relationship ,,,, You aren't going to go anywhere with your present situation unless you make an unavoidable decision ,,,, You are going to have to think about things seriously and look at everything from all angles before you make a move ,,,, What you might gain or what you might lose ,,,, Do you really think there's something better else where compared to what you've got right now ,,,, Maybe by pursuing a different course you will cause irreparable damage ,,,, Your present boyfriend loves you very much but how tolerant is he ,,,, I"ve always advised that a person should not put their life on hold for anyone ,,,, Does he love you enough to put his life on hold for you ? That maybe at the end of your romp it just might result in his losing you because you think you found some one better ? Just how tolerant is he and would he wind up eventually getting hurt in the end while waiting for you to make up your mind ,,,, There's an old saying that one bird already in the hand is much better than two birds in a bush ,,,, What ever you decide the choice is yours ,,,, No on can live your life for you and no one can make decisions for you and there will certainly be no one to step up for you to live with the consequence for the mistakes you make in your life ,,,, That's yours too ,,,, You have a heavy decision ahead of you ,,,, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes ,,,, Good luck with what ever you decide ,,,, Good post you got a star for it from me ,,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,

Answer 4

It seems that you have outgrown your first love. If you leave him, it will definitely hurt him. If you are not happy with your present relationship, you are probably hurting him already. I just want to warn you--once you leave, he may not take you back, so be sure. You did say that he had some great qualities. There is no such thing as "the perfect man". Everyone will have certain qualities that you do not necessarily like. You need to decide what qualities are absolutely necessary (in your mate) for you to make a life committment. If your boyfriend doesn't have them, you need to move on.

Answer 5

The only way that you wont hurt his feelings or make him change is if you keep him as your b/f and befriend other guys. This way youre not hurting the guy you love and seeing whats out there and its a win win situation. Guys show who they are when they are friends with someone and trust me you will soon realise that you arent missing out on much. A guy cant be a 100% fit to you thats impossible and I think that the things you want more in your boyfriend are things that can be worked on. Dont give him up, its a high price to pay for curiousity and you will live to regret it.

Answer 6

You say you don't want to hurt him, but is exactly what you are doing by not letting him go and be free to find someone that loves all of him, not just bits and pieces.
Show him what you wrote us. He will make the right move, and you will be free to try out all those other fish in the sea. (Just remember they will be just trying you out too)

Answer 7

if you feel that you love him and that he loves you.. what's the use of seeing other person.. if you really love him then i think it will be a mistake to leave him..
PS: no one is perfect, if you find someone else.. there will always be something you wont like about him

Answer 8

well!! thats up to you...in matter of heart you should listen to yourself rather than others.. try to find the answer in yourself..but whatever you do..try not to be too selfish..