------what to do, parent disapproval?----?

Question

ok so ive been dating this guy, my mum knows and disapproved cos she thinks i can do much better than him, i like him and think hes a really good guy but my mum is forbidding me!!!

what should i do??

im 20 and she disaproves cos he never went to university

Answer 1

I've been in your shoes. My mom hated one boyfriend so much that when he came over, she'd stalk off to her bedroom and slam the door. To be honest, it didn't deter me one bit from seeing him. (And to be even more honest, she was right, he was a loser!)

At least she never forbade me to see him, which wouldn't have worked anyway, and I came to my senses before it went too far. It ended up being a tough lesson and I wasted a year of my time.

I guess in your situation, can you and your mom sit down and talk about it? What does she really object to, with this guy? What is she worried about? And for you, are you serious about him, or just dating?

If you could relieve her mind a bit, try and understand what she's really thinking (instead of her sticking with that 'you're so much better than him' response, try and really get to the point of her disapproval... is there something she sees in him that worries her? is he like someone she used to know? or does she just not know him well enough, and maybe spending a bit of time with him would help??).

Just don't do anything rash (like unprotected sex, etc.!) and try and remain calm about it.

Good luck!

P.S. I just saw your additional remark. Just because he didn't go to university (yet!) doesn't mean he's a loser! MANY successful people have never been to college. Does he have a trade? I finished my uni degree at 42 years old, so it doesn't mean anything that he hasn't done so at 20. If he's emotionally healthy, got a good work ethic, good hygiene and looks after you, then your mum shouldn't be too unhappy!

Answer 2

Youre 21. Youre an grownup, and must be responsible of your possess love lifestyles. If you already know you like this woman, then you definitely do. Age is whatever however a quantity, it is all approximately mentality adulthood (no less than whilst you're of authorized age). I do not consider you must permit your mum and dad get to you until they start to threaten disowning you. Coming from an asian household myself, I understand how it feels to have your household being disapproved always. Whoever I date, my whole household reveals whatever to whinge approximately and inform ME to get a divorce with them. However, I do fully grasp wherein your mum and dad could also be coming from and bear in mind they're "handiest watching out for what's fine for you" for the reason that you're their little one. They have suspicions for the reason that to them, they're loving you and do not desire to peer you're making a mistake. So, take of their facet and seem at yours, then cross from there. Just recognise, you already know the reality. Follow your middle and your intuition.

Answer 3

Ask your mum what she doesn't like about him. She may have a valid point. Most of the time parents are right. If your mum is definitely not right, ask her if you can invite him to your home for dinner, so that she can get to know him better.

Answer 4

u r mature enough 2 decide who is good 4 u and who's not , so dear try 2 ask ur mam 2 give a logical reason why she does not like him, f u confessed of what she said then u have 2 break up nicely , f not .... now it's ur turn 2 confess ur mam. but 4 now continue talking with him since u love him :)

Answer 5

Kind of hard to say with so little detail!
I would say respect your mother's wishes parents see things that the child over looks.
My best friend's daughter feel in love with this guy and my friend couldn't stand him, thought he was a low life drug addict and he told his daughter. She ignored him married the guy and before to long he forbidded her from seeing her family and friends.
After a while she got tired of him being so controlling and she told her brother she was going to leave him. The next day my best friend got a call from the police department telling him she had died. The police said it was suicide but my friend believes he killed her.
The bottom line, parents don't go out of their way to make their kids life miserable. Quite the contrary, they go out of their way to make sure their safe.
So don't let love blind you and respect your parents wishes!

Answer 6

Your mum has life experience in dating and being around men in general. She must be able to see something in this guy that she disapproves off, maybe she is right .... maybe wrong. Maybe she just doesn't want you to get hurt . . . . . . . .

Answer 7

Surely at 20 years old you are listening to your mom out of respect, right? She has raised you and now she must be willing to see how much of her wisdom you retained. Good or bad this decision is yours, not hers as to the peolpe you'll meet and know throughout life.She'll get over it.

Answer 8

try to convince your mother, since you do know for a longer time. Secondly listen to your mum maybe she does have a point. remember listening means not arguing with her. Also try to remember she does have a lot more experience than you when it comes to guys, though you would like to think otherwise.

Answer 9

I think u should go ahead and continue loving then u try to convince ur mother that he too can do much better things.

Answer 10

sit down with your mom and have her explain what the problem is. the key thing is to listen carefully and let her talk without interruptions. maybe there could be a common ground.
I have been through this with two daughters so good luck to you.