my boyfriends done it again.....wha will i do???HELP!?

Question

bin wit bf 4 5 yrs, we wuld do nething 4 each other.wen we go out&he drinks he goes mad..his nevr hit me&nevr wuld bt im sick of evry sunday morn avin2remind him bot tngs he sed2 me&wha he done. i no he dsnt do it intentionally cuz without drink his everthin i culd ask 4 really,but we both know that drink doesnt agree with him he knows it himself. he has told me 2 keep away 4rm him when he starts 2 get drunk but i dont think thats a very good relationship that i cant go out 4 a night out with my bf,Sat nite hapnd gain...i went away wit d girls 4 d night & he went wit d boys& i saw him in d nite club l8r dat nite&iv evr seen him as drunk in my life...but dare was dis girl and dey started lukn vry friendly 2gether..he didn kiss her r nythng bt i didn like d luk of it.& i hated dat he culd b nice2her but he was giving out2me 4 no reason at all.yesterday we fought bt kinda made up bt i think i should,he aplogised sincerely, he culdnt rembr bt i tink i want a break4awhile,wha wil i do....

its short hand text for text messages i can spell but it wouldnt all fit so i shortened it!!....its easy 2 read

Answer 1

I have a male friend who is exactly like what you described about your boyfriend. He drinks and everything that is repressed comes out and his girlfriend takes the brunt of his verbal attack. the problem was he was not confident enough tell her the problems on his mind whilst sober. I finally had to advise his girlfriend, who was in the same mind frame as you are, to ask him in a round about fashion about some of things he said whilst drunk and soon he started telling her all the problems on his minds and now they are married. If you say "I want a break" he will take this as you running away, this is the worst thing to do, he has emotional problems and you can help him but remember this is not easy and it is more like fishing you have to draw the problems out him and confrontation will not work.

Answer 2

tell him that u will give him another final chance, and add above that its not a threat, u love him fine but it seems that he is being a little selfish, tell him to put himself in ur shoes, how would he feel about it if u was to do it. wouldnt he just be so sick and fed up with u. anyways just dont make it any worse or make a big deal but try to give him another final chance and if he misplace it then tell him its over b/w u guys because u have self respect.
G'luck girl

Answer 3

if you stay with him he will hit you unless he gets help with his drinking. this seems like a tyical before he hit me letter. he needs to hit a bottom to see what he is doing my suggestion is give him a talk that it's either you or the drinking. it might wake him up or he may want the bottle to much either way you need to be ready to be firm on this either leave him if he chooses the bottle or be stern to keep him off the bottle. get some help from family his or yours. or even see some people in al anon or (I forget the other one for enablers) but most important do what is best for you most women who get beat say the same thing " but he loves me when he is sober, he would never beat me if it wasn't for the drink," or whatever other excuses they say I am not privy to at this time.

Answer 4

You should be with a man who can control himself. He knows how he gets when he drinks but he won't stop doing it. Surely you deserve better. Leave him, let some drunk girl have him get yourself a man that will treat you right.
I know you probably don't want to do that but let him know you are sick of him being an *** when he drinks and you know you deserve better. Don't give him an ultimatum unless you really are going to 'leave him if he doesn't stop drinking' or whatever.

Answer 5

I'd like to help except I can't get through all that stuff that looks like its written by a four year old. But I'll try.

I'd say if you're not in a healthy relationship, get out of it. There's no reason to make yourself miserable over someone who isn't in the relationship for the same reasons.

Answer 6

Something is bothering your boyfriend.Booze or no booze he should know who you are & not give the excuse that drink pushes him to behave this way.Telling you to keep away from him when he drinks is a lame excuse.In fact you should be the one to tell him that if he does not stop drinking ,he should stop seeing you.Move out with a mixed group of friends-boys & girls.This is one of the habits that has ruined families & lives.He needs to be councelled before it is too late.

Answer 7

if he really cares about u that much he wouldn't drink at all. Because he is using the drinking as an excuse. This time it was talking what about the next time and the time after that. And if he doesn't want to then i would tell him u need a brake

Answer 8

break up for awhile, I had a boyfriend who drank alot, the relationship will not last, usually gets worse, you get in agruments alot, and fighting leads to partners cheating and so on. I dont know about you , but i think when a guy has a girlfriend, girls seem to like them more, like they want to be the mistress, like they are jeolous you have boyfriend, so they try and sabotage it, and they always seem to attack when the man is drunk. He will cheat, because you will always fight as long as you have these issues, there will always be girls looking his way.

Answer 9

He needs to acknowledge his problem with alcohol.You say you would do anything for each other? Well,he needs to give up alcohol. He has already admitted that it doesn't agree with him but has continued to drink.This is plain selfish and disrespectful. If he puts getting drunk before your safety and well being,it's time to bail out.Things will only get worse.

Answer 10

Damn, no disrespect 2 u, but ur man sounds like a real loser & has no idea how 2 treat u. But it's up 2 u on how long ur gonna put up wit this sh!t.