Should I take the hint?!?

Question

I recently asked a question regarding a lot distance relationship - very briefly I was seeing a guy for about 2 weeks, we got along great, but he was going to USA for 3 months. Before he went he said that he really wanted to continue seeing me when he came back, he would really miss me, stay in touch (his exact words were 'I promise to be in touch' and 'I promise I'll keep in touch over the next 3 months'). He left about 10 days ago, and although I have emailed him to see if he got there ok, how was it going, etc. I have never heard anything back. Is it too soon to assume the worst or should I get the message and face facts that he isn't interested. Before he went we did agree to just see how things went but to keep in touch as friends and then pick up with 'us' as a couple when he got back. I really don't want to seem desperate or clingy and so don't want to keep contacting him, but I hate playing games and before he went I did tell him how I felt and he said he felt the same.

Thank you everyone - It was all great help and put things into perspective a little.

I am being a little neurotic and impatient (I do realise that). But you have all really help - I'm gonna stop being so girly (no offense to my sex) and get on with things here - and hope for the best when he gets back!

Answer 1

Give it up until he contacts you. He's away for 3 months. You "kept in touch" now it's his turn to reciprocate. Assume he won't be interested until he returns and go about you life. Don't wait or put anything on hold for this Dude. Godloveya.

Answer 2

You really won't know how he feels until he does get in touch with you, but bear in mind that he's in a new environment, meeting new people and everything's exciting and strange - he really isn't going to be missing you yet. You, on the other hand, are stuck in the same situation, only he's now gone so the time is passing a lot more slowly for you. I wouldn't be assuming the worst at this stage anyway - I bet he'll contact you soon full of "I'm so sorry I haven't been in touch, but I've been SO busy" and it'll be true. Once he's settled and things become less of a novelty, he'll have time to think about his feelings for you, and you'll know then what the score is. Meantime, give him some space, and when he does call (and he will) be excited for him - don't make him feel bad. I know if it were the other way round, you'd have called, but you're a woman and he's a man and they're just a bit crap at this sort of thing!

Answer 3

I'd give it a little longer - the truth is, he has a lot on his mind at the moment - after all he's just arrived in the USA! Give him time to settle in and find his feet. He's gonna be meeting loads of new people and going to new places - once he's got used to it he should be in touch. If it were me, I'd wait until he's been about there for say 3-4 weeks and if I hadn't heard anything, I'd send him a short and sweet e-mail saying that I hope he's got there safely and having a good time. Then the ball is definitely in his court.

At the end of the day, 2 weeks does not constitute a relationship - you are still at the "dating" stage. If you'd been seeing each other for 2 years (or even 2 months) that would be different! Fill your time with other stuff, after all, that's what he's doing. If you're meant to be together then you will be...just give it time.

Answer 4

Well it depends what country he was leaving from, how long the trip would be and such. It hasnt been 2 weeks yet, he might be getting settled in still, just wait a little longer and try to contact him again. If he left telling you to keep in touch then Im sure he'll be getting back to you when he receives your messages =]

Answer 5

Well, it's only been 10 days, and it may have been really busy for him. I'd say give it a bit more time. But if he still hasn't replied after 5 more days, I'd suggest you send a message asking if he's trying to end things. Then you can see if he responds to that and go from there.

But, don't get your hopes too high, and don't give up just yet.

Answer 6

I think this is going to test the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory - maybe he's jusst so absorbed in his new experiences, maybe he hasn't checked his email. Give it a little more time, until he gets to his email or has time to call. I'm afraid the ball's in his court on this one.
Meanwhile, don't sit around moping, get on with your life exactly as you would normally, go out with your friends, distract yourself. The time will pass very quickly if you're not sitting at home thinking about him.
Good luck

Answer 7

Give it a little bit longer before throwing in the towel, there may be some reason for his delay. Perhaps another four days or so, so you make it two weeks since you last spoke - by then you should know if you mean as much to him as he means to you.

Best of luck!

Answer 8

hello again and yes i remember your other post.
It could be that he is too busy and fully engrossed in his travels. he said he wanted to see how things went but he made no commitments did he.
Ten days is not too long (in Men's time zone!) for him not to contact you.
I would just wait for him to contact you. he may not have constant access to the Internet either.
Don't give up hope but don't put your life on hold either.

Answer 9

Give it another few weeks because he may be having problems getting to a computer. If you don't hear from him at all however I'd not accept an excuse when he does come back.

Answer 10

just chill and wait until he contacts you, he may be taking time to get settled over there, if he doesnt contact you in a week or so, then you think the worst and move on.