What influence do parents have on their childrens self esteem?

Question

In a one minute phone conversation my mum implied that i was an embarassment and a disapointment because i hadn't lived up to her ideals. In that one minute conversation i felt like i was six years old hiding in my bedroom.

Is this common - what does it take to live up to your parents ideals?

Answer 1

The sad truth is parents have the strongest influence of anybody on a child's self-esteem.
The reason for that is because from the day we were born we looked to them for approval.
The sad part is parents don't realize the long term effect they have on a child when the say such negative things.
When I was a child I was often told the same thing and it did effect my self esteem, now that I am older my mother often apologizes saying it was selfish on her part for wanting me to live up to her expectations and not appreciating my qualities.

Answer 2

think of urself this manner, u r survival and got here back finished from this even nevertheless many might have cracked and dedicated suicide, yet u did not. In acquaintances making attempt 2 bypass 2 places the place u r distracted of what befell, like possibly bypass 2 paintball, bowling different places that u might delight in even invintinga few acquaintances over 2 play videogames, and there ur objective would be 2 get 2 the subsequent point, 2 win or if in teammate make a approach with ur group participant additionally speaking 2 people approximately what u went trough can help, possibly connect a set council the place others went for the time of an identical, and there u can unquestionably make acquaintances by way of assisting others technique the flaws that ensue, this manner u will additionally be saving lives in methods that u does not even think of good success..:)

Answer 3

I love your question. I think parents play a major role in this area. Parents want their children to be the best but they have to understand that each of us have our own potential and our own dreams and aspirations. I tried my best to keep up to my parents expectations but have now realised that I didn't really do what I liked or wanted to do. But I learnt from that experience and decided that I will not pressurise my kids in the same way. I respect their opinions and keep telling them that they should be proud of themselves of what ever they have achieved however small. Encouragement is so vital. Instead of being put down all the time a little encouragement every now and then works wonders. I wish all parents realise this. You may have not lived up to your mum's ideals but I'm sure you are good at what you do and you have to make your mum see that.

Answer 4

parents have a great deal on their childrens self esteem. I tell my children how much i love them everyday many times a day. Children will be children at times they are learning as they mature and will make mistakes along the way... children can never be a dissapointment or embarassment.. Parents sometimes say those things in hopes to get you to listen to them. that not the correct way though... your mom needs to use positive critisism and be constructive not negative so much. try to let the negativity go in one ear and out the other. You mom should realize that she is raising a young man or woman from birth and you are not required to become who she wants you to become... YOU are the only one who can control who your destiny, dreams and goals.... no one has the same goals as their parents all the time.

Answer 5

I don't know how common, but their are allot of mothers who are very domineering, and critical of their children through out their lives.

You must have had a miserable childhood. You have to tell your mom that next time she puts you down you will not call her anymore untill she calls you to tell you that she will treat you like a person, and not like a piece of garbage. If she is the type of person that will not let you get a word in, then write her a letter. And stick to it.

Beleive it or not she will respect you for it, if you tell, or write her nicely. But only if you stick to it. If you don't then she will just take advantage of you, and keep on behaving that way.

Answer 6

the problem is certain types of parents will leave a last impression on children. My father and i never got along so when I turned 21 it became a test to him to see who the bigger man was. I didn't fight him and a year and month later he left our house. My mother and my late grandfather nutured me enough for me to realise that i didn't need to fight. Now my mum still constantly berates me about my behaviour and actions. But rather than choosing to see this as a put down I see it as nuturing task that she took on herself to stop me from turning out like my father. Just remember she is your mother, and mum does know best about 80% of the time. just don't try to go to the dark place in your head when she talks to you, try to look at it objectively and you might see does have point. Be open to her suggestions, try them, they might work or they might not. but most of all never think that she is trying to put you down, after all she did give birth to you.

Answer 7

Yea i think so......i mean my parents have all these excpectations from me cause im the oldest child. When i was 13 i starded drinkin to cope with everything my family would say about me. I think they think that they r helpin ur self esteeme but it really hurts u and ur confidence. My grandparents would tell me that i was fat and that my sister was way prettier....but that atleast i was smart. It really hurts me even to this day but u have to hold ur ground and dont let them bring you down as long as your happy and not living on the streets your doing fine.

Answer 8

it depends on the parents expectations. its natural to want more for your children than you ever had, but its a fine line, praising your child, no matter how small the accomplishment, and giving them a sense of EVERYTHING they do is amazing!!!!! i measure success in how happy and contented people are, no matter how much money, how high the career, how expensive the car, to me it all means nothing if that are not happy. so expectations?? that's difficult to answer. parents shouldn't EXPECT anything, but they should have hopes & dreams for their children

Answer 9

All the influeince. Our parents make us into who we are and what we shall become mentally in society by the way they talk to us and the way they live around us and the love that they have for us.