How can I improve my conversational skills?

Question

I don't have a knack for conversation. I'm an introvert. It's hard for me. I clam up and make everyone else uncomfortable, and I'm really bad at keeping a conversation going. Forget about starting one.

I generally have a hard time with social stuff. I tend to be pretty impassive, I don't say much. I'll smile sometimes, but I very rarely laugh. I naturally tend to speak in a monotone, and I think I can be a little too straightforward. I do have an overdeveloped sense of tact, but I'm not good at the standard bullshitting that people do.

How can I improve my social skills?

It's not a lack of confidence.

I'm just not overly fond of spending time with people and therefore don't have the skills.

Answer 1

Take a deep breath and remember that you judge yourself more than anyone else does. Look the person in the eye and smile and nod as they talk to you. and I agree... ask questions and listen. One way to start to feel more comfortable is to go shopping or out in public somewhere and try being more sociable to strangers first.

Answer 2

Firstly you've got to stop thinking that you're shy and hence bad at social stuff. Everyone isn't a born small-talk maker. I'm shy too but I have made sure my shyness is restricted to performing in public, or meeting new people etc.When it comes to my interactions in school on a daily basis, I'm a regular transistor.

When a conversation starts among your peers, just remember that they are in no way superior to you. You have brains and looks too, and your companions can't do anything to you if you say something. You must first boost your confidence by thinking that even the most talkative and cheerful people have to start some place. Be casual. Don't jump into a group conversation at once, but start with small ones with the person who sits next to you. Listen a lot. That's important for being a good conversationalist.

I can tell by the way you typed your question that you have no dearth of vocabulary or things to say. So its pretty easy if you use your communication skills in real life... If something comes to your mind, just say it, unless it's some fault you found with your companion. Just try saying things on the spur of the moment. Observe talkative people a lot.

Just remember, nobody starts out with a knack for conversation; they develop it. I'm an example, to be perfectly honest. Two years ago, it used to take a dozen horses to drag two words out of my mouth. I used to be all nods and shakes of my head, and one word answers. Nobody ever told me all these things I've told you, but something just clicked over the summer, and I became more confident. Maybe it was spending a month with my loud college-going cousin that did it, but anyhow now my friends can't shut me up, which isn't a bad thing really.

Anyhow good luck, and remember, nothing can happen if you say the wrong thing!

Answer 3

Well first of all you will be great in social environment specially people like you are needed. In a social gathering almost all are talkatives, wanting to talk about themselves all the time. Since you are an introvert and talks in a monotone one word kind of guy, you would just let them talk it out the whole night. You could accomplish this by just mere saying the word "GO ON" or "UHUH" "REALLY?" "WOW" "TELL ME MORE" this and others of this kind will make you soo likeable by everyone in the party because you are a person who listens to them. People like for someone to hear their story. By doing this people would just like you because all you did is listen.

socially inept,
Wasabi