If you got married, were you completely sure?

Question

I think we must but, at the same time, that's impossible. It's quite difficult to be 100% sure... Am I the only one?

Fortunately I don't have to make that decision yet!

Answer 1

You are 100% correct. You are an intelligent person. Most people do not think like you. Yes, I was completely sure, but 20 years, and 7 children later, I got divorced. The key to a successfully marriage is appreciating one another, and not expecting anything in return. I separated many times from my husband and he always apologized and I always took him back. It was very hard to leave with 7 children, the youngest was 11 months old.

So I wish you all the happiness in the world. I don't know why they say it takes 2 to have an argument, my ex was able to do it all by himself. That was one of my biggest mistakes, not standing up for myself. The only time I fought with him is when he would hurt the children.

Sorry I rambled on but.................. Have a good one.

Answer 2

When I married my first husband, I remember standing there at the altar thinking "what the h**l am I doing?" 15 years later, I divorced him. I never did figure out what the h**l I was doing. I was 28 years old and assumed I'd better get married before it was "too late".

When I married my second husband, I was 100% sure that I was doing the right thing. And I am still sure--it has only been a year now, but it's obviously a much better marriage than the first one was.

That said, I do think that many people are not 100% certain when they get married, and they do just fine. These folks probably look at the seriousness of the decision they are making, and the fact that they don't have a crystal ball . . . and can't muster the 100% feeling. The thing to watch out for is the sense that you are "settling".

Answer 3

No you are not the only one. I'm 31 and married my wife when I was 27, at the time people said I was young and maybe I should have a few more years of "dating" before making the decision. I was with my wife 4 years and engaged for 1 of those to her. We both questioned whether we were doing the right thing, and spoke opnely about it. We both agreed that it was a huge decision, however the good out weighted the bad and we went for it. It's 5 years later and we are still together, we had many fights and sometimes we thought that we would split up due to inherent differences, but we worked through them and we are still together with a lovely daughter, and sometimes think what our lives would have been like if we broke up or didnt marry, however I know in my heart of hearts I know I am happier for marrying her.
So it's impossible to be 100% sure, just go with what feels right and don't let anyone including your partner pressure you into it. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I'm about to get married in a few weeks and I am 100% sure. As I don't know what it feels like not to be, I can't say if I would ever settle for less. I do know that I sometimes look at other peoples realtionships and think "how can you put up with them?"! I feel very lucky. But then you never really know what goes on between 2 people in private do you? Sorry to all the people who say that you can never be 100% sure. I most certainly am. It's not a fantasy. And we've been together nearly 5 years.

Answer 5

Hi, I can remember saying to my Dad as i walked in the church that I wasn't ready to get married and he told me not to be stupid up until then I was 100% sure but just got nervous. Now I have been married for 16 years this year, have 2 gorgeous boys and although we have had our ups and downs I wouldn't change him for the world.. we are thinking at the moment about retaking our wedding vows on a beach somewhere hot, well maybe next year...

Answer 6

Hello Mahalo,
I have been Married to my wife Susan for 42 years, and loved every day of it, and the funny thing about it is, someone at our reception pulled my sleeve and said to me " Hey Tony! I can't see this marriage lasting more than 6 months" so, if nothing else, I had to work at my marriage enough to prove that man wrong, and I am still, so very much in Love with my lovely wife.. all I can say here to you Sir, is talk it through with your future wife, and love her the best way you know how, and if you don't know how, ask older married people and see what they say about being married for years and years. If you like what they say, still talk it over with your chosen lady and then Marry her anyway, and make a great history of your own marriage, you never know, one day someone may well ask you the same question, " how dids you stay married to the same lady all those years? and then you can tell them your truth, and maybe they will believe you. I hope your married life is as much fun and joy as ours here has been, Joy and Love to you both...Tony M

Answer 7

The first time i got married I wasn't completely sure. My mother assured me this was normal. But you've already guessed the outcome.

The second time I had no doubts at all. But I've only been married one month although we have been together 8 years so I don't know if you can use that to base a theory on.

Answer 8

I wasn't sure. I don't know if that's really even possible. In the end, you're starting a new life together, and honestly that's something that's new and different. Being sure is probably a bad thing, frankly, since that would mean that your emotions were not letting you think clearly. For me, despite being unsure, I got married anyway, and after 5 years we're still together. so I doubt that being unsure really ever hurt me.

Answer 9

I love my husband and I am very happy with him, but every so often i wonder if I settled or if we may have bad problems down the road. Things are difficult. If you don't have any moments of doubt, I would worry about that. If this is a constant worry that you spend a lot of time thinking about, than that is a different story.

Answer 10

Getting married is agreeing to share your journey through life together and everything that that entails. No one knows what it will throw at you,so you are going into the unknown together. It is a bit of a lottery, most of us enter into it with the best of intentions but only time will tell if you both made the right decision. God Luck,YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT.