Last night as my BF and were making love, I told him to slow down a little bit (cause he was really going harsh on me). Then he started shouting at me, saying that I was talking too much and nonsense. He told me that I've been spoiling his concentration and ruining his erection. Then got really got mad and he threw me backwards and tried to do me with anger. I could say nothing, not even raise my voice, I was just paralysed and afraid. And it was hurting too much. Although he saw that I didn't want it, he continued. But I guess the feeling that he is abusing me, didn't let him come. He got more angry, as I got more afraid. He wanted me to have pleasure, so that he could come. But pleasure is not something forced! He started really hurting me, as he saw I was not pleasing. I even tried to seem like I was having a little bit pleasure, I was hoping that maybe he eventually let me go. This thing went on like half an hour. Then I said that I have go to the bathroom, and released myself.
2007-03-25 21:01:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Yes it is.
Love making should be consensual. Everything through force is a sign of abuse, even when there's no pain involved (Moreover you did experience it). Do not listen to his words, see them as excuses. How long have you two been together? Trust your instincts the next time he ever does anything like this. If it feels scary, leave. Do not speak a word, allow him to win you over with nothing but actions. If he cares about you and wants you with him, he must change.
Talk to him about your feelings. Ask for respect and accept nothing but a compromise. Solve this issue together. If he comes up with excuses tell him straight in the face that it is an excuse and you will not accept it as a reason. If he does things to make it difficult for you, leave. Do not be around him, let your mind clear without his presence or voice and you would think better.
All this would be difficult at first, but you have to take your own pace and train yourself to be assertive. Think in the long term, there is no use giving in to excuses, it is of no good for you and him. He must understand respect before he can treat another human better. If he is not willing to today, he probably will not learn anything and you (and him) will be the one to suffer tomorrow. And a healthy human would not allow him/herself to be trapped in a painful cycle. Do not permit yourself to have a chance to be trapped in it. Leave if necessary. Good luck.
2007-03-25 22:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by spencer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is sexual abuse. If you didn't say "No" I don't know if you could prosecute the bastard for rape, but what he did was wrong. He hurt you and was rough and angry with you. You were too afraid to say anything because he was shouting at you. That's terrible!
How long have you been with this man? If you don't intend to marry him, you should dump him and get to a sexual assault support center. If you do intend to marry him, you really ought to reconsider. He doesn't respect your sexual and physical integrity. Do you want to be married to someone like that?
Please call a sexual assault or domestic abuse hotline and talk with someone soon. Your boyfriend hurt you and broke your trust; this is something you are going to have to deal with for a long time. I'm sorry and wish I could help more.
2007-03-26 15:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is definetly sexual abuse. You should either tell the police or just get away from him. If this is the first time this has happened and you don't want to leave him ask him if he is okay. He might be on drugs or something that makes him have these crazy moods. whatever you do don't let him do it again. if you do let him do it a second time and you get away from the room where he is at you should walk out and never go back to him. NO GIRL SHOULD EVER PUT UP WITH THAT JUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't let him continue treating you this way. he could kill you. if he pounded you too hard he might rip somthing and then you would be scared for life. don't let him ruin your life. I'm praying for ya
2007-03-26 08:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Carol 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, if this person cares for you there is no reason for them to force you to do something you don't want to do. This person is into self gratification and you are not part of the equation except for the release needed. I hate to tell you that he is an abusive personality and can cause you serious physical harm. Please get out while you can. The longer you stay in this relationship, you will eventually be desensitized to the violent nature of his personality. You will be trapped in a prison.
2007-03-26 04:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by pinkolives 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. my friend had the same experience with her ex it lasted a year like that. exactly the way you explain. she is a mess. its been about a year and a half since it has been over. she will never be the same an has some serious problems dealing with life. it happens allot some guys like having that power over girls. dont give in things wont change it only gets worse. its sexual abuse and mental abuse. find an outlet a friend or a family member to help you free yourself from him. dont give in and try to work things out. it only gets worse
2007-03-26 05:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by dan221racing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes gurl that is sexual abuse!!!once u tell a man to STOP or SLOW DOWN and they dont do it,then that mother****** is abusing u!!!!u shoulda kicked him in his jewels so that he learns a lesson!!!he obviously has no respect for u!u shouldnt be with a man like that!!he did it once he'll do it again and next time it''l be worse!!!!be careful!!!
2007-03-26 04:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by khristina t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might become abusive over other issues as well. You really should not continue this relationship.
2007-03-26 04:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by orderly logic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that but yes your bf is really sexually abusing you.
2007-03-26 04:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from this guy. You don't need to be treated like this.
2007-03-26 04:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by majnun99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes. it is. that was virtually rape.
Ditch him; You deserve so much better girl!
take care!
tenj
xxx
2007-03-26 04:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by tablesalt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋