I dont mean that in the "pervert" way either sorry.
the last real relationship i was in was good in the beginning but before that relationship failed it got really bad.
he cheated so I cheated to get back at him, we just went through this same pattern for awhile.
i even seen it with my own eyes and i still didnt leave him.
one night though i finally did.
now i am in a really good relationship, my fiancee and I have a daughter and have been together for almost 6 years.
BUT
I find it hard to believe that he doesnt cheat on me.
I know he doesnt, but yet i accuse him of it.
I have never heard of,seen him or had reason to believe he cheats.
he has friends that are girls and I accuse him of them or girls that he works with.
when i do accuse him he says he doesnt cheat on me because he loves me.
am i supposed to rely on just those words?
is this relationship doomed because of my jealousy/trust issues?
was it my last relationship that made me like this or is it just me?
help..
2007-03-25 20:55:49 · 23 answers · asked by preggo&luvinit 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't even like him having girls that are friends because i think that they may try to "hook up" with him.
how could i change my ways....i feel as though im putting him through alot.
2007-03-25 20:57:54 · update #1
let alone talking to girls that i dont know makes me worry.
I know I don't control him....he still does whatever he wants.
he knows how i feel about all this also
2007-03-25 20:59:32 · update #2
also what if he gives out his cell to his friends that are girls or gets texts and fails to tell me about this....is it something to base the start of cheating on?
2007-03-25 21:01:20 · update #3
you have to trust him if he really is not cheating because you have a good thing going and being paranoid will ruin it . you don't want that now would you especially if you have a child ...... trust him and stop thinking about the past and make your future better ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, goodluck !
2007-03-25 20:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its so hard to trust again after being cheated on your feeling are letting you down and in the end it will ruin your relationship with your partner. I went through the same thing with my ex i was so untrusting and jelouse it distroyed my relationship with a girl i loved and i regret it still to this day. I say try and be more trusting if that wont word get a little help to deal with your problems a tell your partner whats up
2007-03-26 04:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only ting that will REALLY help you to move on in life is to get over this jealousy which is causing you to worry too much about being 'cheated on."
The Green Monster will eat you up, and not in a good way.
When you start a relationship, tell the guy that you expect honesty and that you won't hang around if he is unfaithful. Then, if he cheats, leave and find someone else.
Or, if you're really strong, let him "hook up" with a couple of other girls. It won't kill you (as long as he's safe about it). But I wouldn't suggest this path if you think marriage is a possibility. Then you should stick to the monogamy thing.
Good Luck!
;o)
2007-03-26 04:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by tahunajcw 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't figure out a way to trust him, you will push him away. You can't judge him based on what happened in your last relationship. You have been with him for 6 yrs and you have a child together, you should be married by now. If you continue to act this way, he'll get tired of you accusing him and leave. I had a man to act they same way to me as you do to him, and it is not a pleasent feeling, when you know you love someone and they think you cheating on them. You need to get it together before you find yourself by yourself.
2007-03-26 04:16:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: yes, you should just believe him.
There is a good reason you have been together for six years. People generally don't stay in relationships for no reason. Relationships take work and effort, if he wanted easy sex, he may aswell be single because there is no sneaking around or lying.
You're probably just trying to get around the fact you are in such a good relationship, having just come out of a bad one. You're expecting/waiting for something bad to happen, based solely on experience without considering the good points of your current rship.
2007-03-26 04:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you definitely have trust issues as a result of your previous relationship.
Believe it or not, not every man in this world cheats, there are some really decent men out there. Your insecurities could ultimately push im away.
Give him the benefit of the doubt if you have no other reason then your past history to believe he is cheating.
2007-03-26 04:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Rustb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like my ex-wife, she always acused me of cheating and I never did. It was the same thing, the girls at work were too close to me, I had too many female friends, etc, etc, etc..
So after 4 years of her false accusations, I finally went out and cheated on her, but the funny thing is, she never knew about it, and it was not the reason why we got a divorce.
2007-03-26 04:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by droopydog88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should consider counselling. You obviously have some trust issues and are lashing out at a man you know to be honorable.
I know it's hard to ignore your past, but remember, your fiancee was not part of that past. He is part of your future.
Forgive yourself for what happened in your past relationship and move forward with your fiancee and daughter.
2007-03-26 04:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been through the same however am still with the basterd, anyways you moved on. Men are not all alike. trust him untile he gives you reason not to. Dont harp on him. Its not his fault what this other man did to you. Love him and let him love you. Also keep things happy at home, and give him a reason to want to come home
2007-03-26 04:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by wondering 12/30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just realize you are likely to lose him unless you snap out of it. I have gotten stuck in ruts of unhealthy behavior (similar stuff) then just suddenly snapped out of it, bec I did not want to push the man away and ruin everything. Get ahold of yourself before its too late. JUST STOP!!!
And: DO NOT think of yourself as "DAMAGED GOODS."!!!!
Everything in life happens to us for a reason, to teach us a spiritual lesson, whether or not we can recognize it the time. You are NOT damaged goods. You are a human being here to love and learn like everyone else... we all get hurt. It is your choice and your mission to be strong. Look into your own heart for the answers on what you need to do.
2007-03-26 04:01:50 · answer #10 · answered by F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just don't wanna get hurt again.
But everybody get hurt every once in a while.
Nobody wants to get hurt.
But anyway... you and man created a child together...
and he is marrying you because he loves you no matter
what. For better or for worst.... just go ahead and
marry that guy. Let live, let live.
And don't worry, go on and have a nice life.
2007-03-26 04:08:06 · answer #11 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋