I am currently staying in Tokyo and I am the only son. My father (a Filipino) died several years ago and I am now living with my mom. I married recently to a Filipina here in Tokyo last year. Since I am the only son, I can't leave my mom. My problem is that my mom insisted that it is Japanese culture that wives should stay at home and do the household. My wife insisted she wanted to work. I said that I am willing to give her allowance instead. Just to prevent trouble with my mom. Do you think that my mom is right? Is it really Japanese tradition that women are prefered to be at home?
2007-03-25 20:51:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have to dialogue with your wife. It is not good that you will just abide with your mom because you want to have peace. I am also a half Japanese. But if you trully love your wife, talk to her. If you are capable of raising a family, try to understand why she insisted to work. And if it is reasonable, then why don't you allow her? Whatever the case maybe, the welfare of the family should go first before one's personal desire.
2007-03-25 21:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by Ernesto 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all who are you with??????Your mom or your wife?? Who are you looking to please????Your mom or your wife? I'm sorry whether it's your mom's culture or opinion for your wife to stay home or work is you and your wife's decision. You should be very happy that your wife wants to work so she can help you out with the bills. Maybe she's trying to get the h$ll away from your mom. Your wife should be your number one in your life ...not your mom. Because when all hell goes loose and your mom's not there you have the person who's there to stand by your side which is your partner, not your mom. You don't need that kind of advice from your mother, you need to discuss your wife's situation with her, because the advice your mom gives you may not be the smart choice. Oh yeah and another thing you can't force your mother's culture onto your wife.Your wife has her own culture and Morales.
2007-03-25 21:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by cyee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't let your mother run your marriage... and I can certainly understand why your wife wants to work rather than stay home all day with her mother in law! Two women in one kitchen is a doomed combination!
If you must have your mother live with you I'd say let your wife work and let mom be the 'housewife'.. and when the kids come she can babysit too! With any luck she'll get fed up and move out :D
2007-03-25 21:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely. Your Mother is on her home ground and she wants to fit in.
You however are mixed and because of that you think differently.
My children have the same problem with the Arab side of our family.
Try and convince your mother that being part of the new Japanese Intelligentsia brings no shame on her head. Your multi cultural family with new traditions is a part of the new forward thinking Japan. She should be proud to be a leader!
2007-03-25 21:07:28 · answer #4 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of things your mum wants your wife to stay at home and cook and clean not just for you but also for her.Your wife has every rite to want to work it is part of her individuality!! Spending time at home could be a disaster to your marriage and now we are in a world of equal opportunities she might move on and find freedom elsewhere.My advice is that eveyone grows up and leaves home some to have families some who do not.Your mum will always b part of your life but remember your wife is there for the rest of yours. Goodluck!!!!
2007-03-25 21:00:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah.. in the very old days it was tradition that women stay at home.
But tradition isnt law.
Your marriage has nothing to do with your mother - while she has a right to her opinion, she has no right to interfere.
Do what is best and most comfortable for you and your wife. Remeber that your wife is an individual and if she wants to work then you should be supportive of her decision.
.
2007-03-25 20:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by raspberryswirrrl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man stands by his wife's side and a boy stands by his mother's.
It was once tradition for wives to stay at home in America too, but not so much any more.
Things change, that's life.
2007-03-25 21:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by BOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope that at this day in age, a woman has a right to choose whether or not she wants to stay in the home or work. If she wants to go back to work, you should support her. If your mother really loves you, she will get over it or make her realize that she risks losing you. Good luck!
2007-03-25 20:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by purple_lily76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG...You are in a tight spot you have obligation to both of them as people you love! But I think you should let your wife work your mum can't impose traditional ideas on you or your wife.....We live in a new era!
2007-03-25 21:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I know, women in Japan are considered 2nd class citizens and are treated as such (poor them). So yes, it's their tradition. But your wife is not japanese & you're not entirely japanese either. Tell your mom what you've decided, she'll soon understand.
http://lanispage.blogspot.com/
2007-03-25 20:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by Leilyn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋