best time to meet step children?

Question

when is it the best time to meet the step children, is it better when they are young or older? does it get harder for them to accept there new parent as they get older? at what age does it generally get more harder?

any advice on meeting step children would be nice too, thank you

Answer 1

We did it kind of gradually - first they met him out of the house, then he started to come for dinner, then we went on day trips together... before we got married, we took each one out for an evening, so he could get to know them separately as well.

Answer 2

It is never a good time to meet step children. Sometimes it is better if they are younger but, no matter if they are younger or older they still think you are trying to take the other parents place. Even if you meet the other parent years after the divorce they still think it is because of you their parents aren't together. The best way to meet the kids (if they are from age 2 - 9) is to take them to a place like 6 flags or Sea World. If they are from 11 - 25 in your house that way you feel saver because you are on your terms. If they show their As- you can make them leave. And don't let them come back until they can show you the respect you have a right too. Just let them know you are not trying to take the mothers place. You are just an extra mother in case they need you for anything.

Answer 3

How you both handle it will decifer how hard it will be. If the children are younger you let them slowly get use to you as you build up their trust. Unless the other parent is non existant, always remember you are not the parent. Treat them more like an aunt or uncle would. When the children are older it helps if your partner makes sure they know about you and talks about you with them over a period of time so they get use to the idea of dad/mum being in a relationship. Unless you are going to be their full time parent, don't have them get to know you as a parent, but also let them know that you deserve the same amount of respect. I believe its better to just be a friend/another adult they have in their life that they can depend upon and talk to.

Answer 4

hi there foe children that have not got there natural parents at any age excepts babies it is really hard for them as they will always want that connection with there mumor dad that was in there life to begin with .....that is only natural,it has to be a slow process to get them to know the new step parent and they have to get the friend bit in place as if they see you as the new parent quite often they will go out of there way to make things as difficult as possible and that is only because they want there family back together ,and they for what ever reason seem to believe that if they behave in this way it will work ,the thing that has to be used is patience like a saint in this situation .....and i wish any one going through this all the luck in the world and just be there as a friend and hang on in there it will get easier ....good luck and take care xx

Answer 5

The younger the child the better chance you have
of having some kind of relationship with him or her.
The older they are the harder it is.
I think the worst age is a teenager and I say this because at that age they already have their minds made up.

Answer 6

Well from experience, I thought it was harder meeting my moms 3rd husband because I was older and felt like he was tryin to be my father, which as a teenage i felt i didnt need anymore seeing as I already had one. With my moms second husband, it was easier because i was younger and more open to being friends with everyone. Plu son the meeting advice. I would just try to be nice and truthful, because children tend t o know when sum1 is lying to them.

Answer 7

i do not think their eis a good time to meet them

as a step child ,step mother and mother of my own kids

i think if you come into there life's when they are very young you will just be excepted by them but when they are older they resent you for coming into there real parents place

i do think there should be rules as a step anything

Answer 8

I think when kids are older you will never be a "parent" to them

My dad got remarried when I was 19 an his wife is literally, his wife and nothing more to me

as for meeting them just be freindly and look to their parent as a model of what you should do with them

Answer 9

I've known my stepdaughter since she was born. shes 6 know. I wasnt her dad's girlfriend until right after she turned 2. she calls me mom(even though her other mother is very against it) she tells people she has 2 moms. on the other hand, her mom;s BF was in her life since she was 5 and she says he IS NOT her other dad, she only has one dad. I guess its because I've been around longer and I treat her like shes my kid.

about meeting stepchildren, dont force yourself on them, it will be hard for them no matter what age they are. dont make them call you mom, they should be able to call you by your name or maybe they could give you a nickname. buying them little presents might help or taking them somewhere fun, like the park.

Answer 10

umm.. if they are already your step children, then that means you are already married to their mother/father and you still havent met them yet?!

Best time is early in your new relationship with their mother/father. this way they have time to get to know you and get used to the fact that their parent is in a new relationship before you go surprising them with any bombshells like marriage.
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