Second thoughts...... HELP?!?

Question

Well, I have...oh had.. a beautiful Siamese cat named Shegwa and I was very close to him and had him for a year. He was an outdoor cat and one day he disappeared. He came back after two days. About a week later he ran off again and in that time we thought he would return. After about a month of worrying he didn't come back, but we though he'd be okay. Then one day I brought home another kitten thinking it would help bring him home (don't ask). Two weeks later a neighbor found him dead. Now whenever I see the new kitten I feel depressed and want to give her back. She's an indoor kitten which means she'll live for a long time. I can't stand to lose another pet, especially if I become attached to her. Should I return her? or keep her?

Answer 1

In a way, Shegwa brought the kitten into your life. She is his last gift to you.
Keep her, love her and remember the good times with him.

Answer 2

You're feeling a really strong sense of grief and sorrow right now. Don't worry, it's okay. We all lose someone close to us.

Right now, you seem to be very vague in your decisions, thoughts and to yourself. You should clear your head, smile because Shegwa lived a happy life, and allow the new kitten to make you smile.

Don't be afraid to be attached to a new kitten. The new kitten doesn't know how hard and heavy your emotions are at the moment so if it plays with your leg or curls up next to you, don't think of the death of your Siamese. Instead think of the start of somthing new to a story that once ended. [I'm so sorry that sounds corny. ]

By accepting the kitten, you've promised her that she will have a roof over her head, a nice nourishing meal, and a loving owner. If you ever think that your new kitten should be returned, it would be like taking your Siamese back from the street and then intentionally throwing him back out. Please reconsider keeping the new kitten and nurture her with love as you did with your Siamese. I believe that you have adopted a new pet too early, but it is better now than never.

Don't ever forget your old cat, and love your new friend.

Answer 3

Having a pet [even a low-maintenance one like a cat] is a commitment and requires a lot of responsibility. If you aren't sure you can live up to this, it would be far kinder to give her to someone who can provide the home she deserves.

I recently lost my first cat; he was diagnosed with very aggressive metastatic melanoma in August and we had to have him put to sleep in November. After having Cat as my constant companion and the center of my universe for ten years, it was absolutely devastating. Though I miss him tremendously and having to let him go is one of the hardest things I've ever done, I don't regret having had him in my life at all and the experience won't prevent me from having other pets. I got my second cat about a year before he died, and Smudge has been extremely helpful to me though her personality is almost the complete opposite of Cat's and in some of my more irrational moments I almost resent her for not being him. She absolutely worshiped Cat and misses him too; she was never so clingy before he was gone. I suppose we're getting through this together. I know I'll probably outlive her too and it's difficult, but I can't let that get in the way of the joy she brings to my life.

I won't say that your new kitten can completely fill the void Shegwa left. She's a different cat, which in some ways will be easier but in others will make you miss him more. Given the opportunity, she'll make her own niche in your life.

No one can make this choice but you. I understand how difficult the mourning process can be; you can't rush it. However, if you are going to give her up, try to do it before she becomes any more attached to you. Cats can be much more loyal than many people think.

I know it sounds trite but I'm so, so sorry for your loss. And even if you have to give up your kitten, I hope it doesn't mean you're giving up on pets.

Answer 4

That's the nice thing about indoor cats -- you don't need to worry about them coming home. You can't reasonably expect a new kitten will replace the old one, and thinking the new cat will bring the older one home you now realize was not a good reason. The passing of our pets and our friends is a normal part of life and you will have to allow yourself time to grieve before you make any decision about the new cat. Life goes on. Give the new kitten a chance to win over your heart. In fact, tell your new kitten all about Shegwa!

Answer 5

Losing a pet is a hard thing to go through. They become a part of who we are. We daily take care of them. You've lost something that was there daily for the most part, that you participated in taking care of. Now he's gone, but you have a replacement that will love you back. Focus your time with this new friend of yours, take care of her, love her. Give her a home and provide her a great healthy life...providing you years of love!

Answer 6

Your other cat lived the kind of life it wanted. He was happy being the kind of cat he was. I know you miss him, in your place I would too. I don't think your other cat should be returned from where she came. Keep her & love her and don't ever let her outside. Your little baby kitty is very unsure of herself, its a new situation for it. Help her feel comfortable and pretty soon you'll stop feeling the pain of your first cat being gone.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Cats have much shorter lives outside. I had one that was fixed and mostly indoors, but died from feline leukemia. If you love your kitten keep her and keep her indoors, or find her a good home.

Answer 8

first off im so sorry for your loss. i understand how losing a pet can be secondly dont think of it as a replacement and dont feel bad enjoy your new kitten she needs you and dont send her back

Answer 9

Keep her, but don't allow her to go outside at all.