My girl friend (age 20 years presently) had (ALL acute lymphoblastic leukemia)..... untreatable disease. She was first diagnosed in JUNE 2002...then she took chemotherapy from TATA MEMORIAL HOSPITAL of Mumbai for 2 year approx...then she came back to home after 18 months of that treatment. she got relapse. then her doctor suggested for bone marrow transplant.. n she got a BMT in July 2005 from CMC Vellore n the donor was his elder brother....now today after 20 months...she is fine except little GVHD type problem....now i want to know that what are the chances of her survival. I want to marry her so plz tell me what problems will i have to face in future. Should i marry her or not...n what r the chances of relapse...n is there any treatment to get permanently cure for this disease...n when can we say that the patient of ALL is completely cured...
i m eagerly waiting for ur reply...
so plz reply me soon....
thanks
2007-03-25 18:53:48 · 14 answers · asked by sandy_1 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I don't know what to say to a question like this. You marry someone because you love them. Tomorrow is promised to no one. She won't be able to have children if she's had chemo, so can you live with that? She may continue on the same course as she has all these years. Can you live with that? She may be cured one day and then again she could die.
You could get hit tomorrow by a bus...or you could get cancer...what are your chances of surviving?
I doubt very much God lives in yahoo and has an answer for you, so you decide if you love this girl and want to be there for her or move on and let her be.
2007-03-25 19:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
You really need to talk to the doctors who have been treating her. There is a lot of information on the internet but trying to understand what it means is difficult. Each case can be different.
One table shows a 40 to 60% survival rate for bone marrow transplant patients after 6 years. The graph is flat at that point , so it suggests that if you make it 6 years you may live a long time after that.
They dont tend to talk about cures with cancer . They talk about remissions , relapses and survival rates. From the stuff on the internet it seems a particular type of bone marrow transplant has the best recovery rates.
The doctor can give you a better understanding of the illness, and any restrictions there might be for the future.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Dont be ashamed if you decide that you cant marry the girl. It is very hard to deal with that sort of problem at a fairly young age . Do try though to be there for her as a friend .
2007-03-26 02:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say:
What would hurt more...not marrying her and possibly never find the love of your life again, or .....marrying her and possibly see the love of your life die, or.....marrying her
possibly having her even out live you.
Do you see what I'm saying there are far to many "possiblies"
I would say if you really love her ask her.... hey you don't know she possibly could say NO! (another possibly) and if you don't maybe she only needs a best friend now!!!
POSSIBLY!!!
There is a movie called "Sweet November" with Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves that I would suggest to try and find and watch if you can (story similar to yours)
Hope I've helped even a little
2007-03-26 03:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you love her then marry her but you have to prepare yourself for a life without children as she will be unable to carry a child due to the hormones of pregnancy making her vulnerable to another attack by the cancer. If you are okay with no children then marry her but you must resign yourself to being a widower because her struggle with cancer is far from over.
Romance quickly pales in the advancing horrors of terminal wasting disease. Also, can you shoulder the expenses for her treatments? What does your family say to you about her?
2007-03-26 02:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems therapy has run the gammet. Now only time will tell if the transplant was a cure. I would delay the marriage for a few years.
2007-03-26 02:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you want a guarantee that she will not get sick in the future, no one can give you that guarantee because it does not exist. If you love her with all your heart has to offer then yes ask her to marry you. If you do not want to proceed because you are thinking about "what if...?" then no it would not be right to ask her to marry you. I am not sure of the amount of dedication that you would have in your marriage vows but all the ones that I have heard mention that "you will love honor and cherish in sickness and in health...".
2007-03-26 02:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by Guitarist 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marry her, she needs a whole lot of support. If you marry her, she will know that you love her and that you are there for her. Think about it, if she was not to survive, wouldn't you regret not marrying her? Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel at your last breath knowing that your husband was there and was really committed you?
2007-03-26 02:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by venom90011@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont understand u. do u love her or not? thats the q u should be asking to urself. what kind of problems will u have if she gets sick??? what kind of love is that, boy? i lost a gf to cancer and i never asked that q when i considered marrying her. of course i couldnt even ask her. if u love her carry on and propose. if shes gonna be such a huge load then back off.
2007-03-26 04:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by chokito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking US if you should marry her? If you love her, why are you letting a medical condition make a decision for you? She needs you to stand by her, not run away scared. You love her, right?
Here's a good site for disease info:
http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls
Best wishes
2007-03-26 09:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by Char 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love her youll marry her no matter what. but no1 here can tell you if you should marry her because youre the only 1 that knows the real answer to that questions. if you really love her then youll marry her even if she might relapse
2007-03-26 16:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by kiwi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋