So I just asked a question about this girl I really liked and how she said she just wanted to be friends with me, mainly because she wanted to go play the feild and fool around with some guy who was just using her and had no interest in dating or having any relationship with her. I got alot of responses telling me it could be because of something in her childhood or someone in her family. See from what she's told me she's had a pretty rough time. Her dad is a sex offender, and her parents split up when she was young. But I don't understand how that could cause her to be well... so... hmm... well not want to get into a relationship but just fool around alot lol. If anything I would think that she would be more... unopen with her feelings and a very closed person, even though she seem like the exact opposite. So could someone fill me in lol everyone seems to know something I dont lol?
2007-03-25 18:35:09 · 5 answers · asked by teh_masta_of_all 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Very simple: you're right to think that what she's been through would make her less open with her feelings. What you don't realize is that she is less open with her feelings. She may tell you her life story, but she won't have a long term relationship because she's uncomfortable with intimacy. When she's not in a committed relationship, she feels like she has control of how close people get to her. If she got into a relationship, she would have no choice but to let someone in for real, and that is obviously a risk she is not ready to take.
2007-03-25 18:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her dad is a sex offender.Right there that probably says that she was abused as a child.When some girls are abused physically or mentally when they get older they start searching for something that they won't find unless they get help.That would be love.She isn't use to be treated well so she will never look to be treated well if that makes since.Some feel worthless and think that don't don't deserve being treated anyway but bad.If you really like this girl then just be nice to her.Have patience and just be there for her.More than likely she has some serious issues that need worked out and she could probably use a real good friend.Don't pressure her.
2007-03-25 18:49:05 · answer #2 · answered by cynthia k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know that is kinda weird. to me it sounds like she is so used to how her parents raised her to go from one person to the next. didnt you say her dad was a sex offender. she had to have grown up around that so that is what she is used to. just give it time and continue showing you are still in to her ad she might come around and realize what her dad did was wrong and want one guy and one relationship. if that doesnt work move on cause obviously it isnt fate and it isnt what god had intended for you two. good luck and hang in there.
2007-03-25 18:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jaime 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her dad had sexually abused her, then it would make her weary of become physically close with anyone she loved/cared about. It's the same way hookers, etc. can detach themselves and have sex with many different people. If you really care about her, you could work with her and a psychologist to eventually overcome these obstacles. But it will take alot of time and patience.
2007-03-25 18:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Rex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its about her ability to trust to commit alot of people that were abuse respond in the oppisit way you would think. Most sex offenders were abused them selves.
2007-03-25 18:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋