if you had a step mom [like me] and you hated her [like me] how would you tell you dad?

Answer 1

I wouldn't. I would get over my self centered, selfish, immature, spoiled brat self and be greatful that my father had found someone who made him happy and I would respect my father's choice and respect my step mother.

Answer 2

If you have solid reasons for disliking her (hate is a pretty extreme word) then, when you are NOT upset, talk to your dad. It's probably not a good idea to go in blazing with a list of her faults to him.. but maybe acknowledge that you understand that he is happy, and that is really important to you, but these are some problems you are having.. he might have some ideas how you could work through them.... I don't think he remarried to make you miserable.

Maybe part of the problem is that your step-mom isn't doing things the way you are used to having them done. Life isn't always going to go smoothly..... that's why God made wave boards.

You may need to learn how to ride the waves and accept the fact that things are done differently sometimes.

This woman loves your father enough that she wanted the responsibility that comes with being a parent to you as well as a wife to him.... maybe she needs to be cut some slack?????

Answer 3

I'm a stepmother and it really isn't easy. I'm finding it one of the hardest things i've ever done. It's a lot more difficult than bringing up your own children because you inherit a child whose been brought up probably in a different way and with different rules.
They say all children from a broken relationship secretly harbour wishes that their parents get back together, i'm not sure how true this is but i do feel resented a lot of the time.
If your stepmother is doing something she shouldn't be, cheating, beating, abusing then you have every right to not like her. If she's not and trying to bring you up then you need to realise she's just trying to do her best for you, she's only human and is probably as upset about the situation as you are.
Are you fighting with this woman for your dad's attention? Don't make him piggy in the middle. Rather than tell your dad how about trying to have a conversation with your stepmum without an argument and see how she feels about it all and try to reach a compromise between you.

Answer 4

What is she doing for you to hate her. Is it the fact she's with your dad. Has your relationship changed with your dad or has it got better? If it has changed perhaps that's where to start if you can get some of what you had back with your dad you would feel less angry towards your step mom. Who knows you may even find that you actually like her. Try not to be jeallous and try talking about your feeings to your dad. Be open and you'll find those hatred feelings disappear, they may even understand you! You have got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Answer 5

By telling your dad. But I'm sure your dad already knows how you truly feel. What you need to do is ask yourself the real reason why you don't like your step mother and then and only if your reasons are reasonable should you communicate them to your dad.

Whatever your thought process; try come to some type of agreement. And think about your dad's happiness.

M.

Answer 6

I see you far away and I feel your pain. I can understand how you feel about your step mother. I urge you to be cool and try to avoid fighting with her as much as you can unless you can move out. Remember your father loves her as much as you. But, since you are teen so you will feel that she takes the love from your father. Believe me your father always loves you. Trust me you need to analyze the situation and make sure you are right then you can say anything to your father if your step mom miss treat you badly. But, if you express your ha trad then you will not get respect from her. My advice is try to make peace as much as you can with her for the sake of your family.You can tell your dad when she is wrongly mistreat you. I am not sure about your situation and you only give me 2 sentences to analyze. However, I wish you take my advice. You need to move on and enjoy your teenager life than being an unhappy soul.

Answer 7

People always seem to say the same things - she loves your dad, she's only doing her best, you resent her because she has taken your dad's affection etc etc.

But in my experience, a step-parent can resent the kid/s, regarding them as baggage, an inconvenience, as competition... & there are therefore, many ways a step-parent can abuse their parent's children... especially behind their partner's back... working to undermine their relationship.

For the child/ren caught in that situation, "life" can be confusing & full of misery. They are stereo-typed as being the cause of the problem, & their inability to put into words what they are suffering, adds to their dilemna.

You haven't provided details, but the depth of your feeling of alienation is evident in your question... I don't know your dad - he may be the impatient type who only wants a quiet life at any cost... in which case, even if your dislike/s are valid, he could sweep your needs aside... simply to protect his new relationship. On the other hand, he may sympathise & really want to help you but he may not know how to, especially if his wife is unreachable via discussions.

Your other option is to avoid them... but that is often not practically possible... You could adopt a policy of mute compliance for an easier life... but that could be interpreted as insolence...

I guess a lot depends on how bad your situation is. If it is truely unbearable, then I think you need to talk to an advice worker, possibly via your school? You obviously need to let off steam & somehow communicate with those responsible for your care... & it is best to do that CALMLY.

(I was in this situation... I was GLAD my dad found somebody, but she was only after his money... For my dad's happiness, I agreed not to interfere... but he got totally stressed out by the antagonisms put on him by selfish women (i.e. my mum & his new wife) (all arguments re: money!) & he took that out on me... & he became violent.
So a word of warning there!
Sometimes you can't win).

Good luck my dear! Stay strong. & think carefully before you speak & choose your words very carefully. It's a delicate situation. & you need to be full of understanding...

Answer 8

First off, you really need to asses why you "hate" her. hate is such a strong word, it really should be used with caution.

I think the best thing to do would be to have a talk with them both. Be very mature about it and tell them exactly what it is she does that bothers you, and offer suggestions on how to fix it. More than likely, the two of you are just going to need more time to get used to eachother.

She's not your mother, but Im sure she loves your father, and deserves a chance.

Answer 9

Well you gotta ask yourself if telling him is going to really make a difference cause if it isn't it's only going to hurt you and your dads relationship, and also destroy the chance of you and your step mom having one. Give it some time see how things turn out. GOOD LUCK !!!

Answer 10

do you really hate her?or are you just a bit pissed off with her? i wouldn't mind betting that its the latter. maybe you resent her because she is in your dads life and you feel a bit threatened by that, but his love for you would not be affected by his love for her. you are always gonna be his daughter so you should feel secure in that knowledge.
you don't say how old you are. are you in your teens?? if so, the odds are that really, you are gonna hate just about everybody in any kind of authority over you at some point. so, let it go, the odds are, its temporary anyway

Answer 11

Touchy subject. I went through the same thing. and believe me this woman is waaaaay out there. I caught her trying to seduce my cousin and my dad took her side about the whole thing. I told him everything I had seen and he still wouldnt believe it. It may be hard but it comes down to one thing. As long as she makes your father happy then that is all that should matter. You have to put your personal issues aside with her and let them live thier lives together.