I need some advice. I don't know whether I should leave or stay with my boyfriend ?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 yr. and he has two kids and at first everything was fine until now. lately we haven't gone out on dates because he says he's broke and that he needs to budget his money. and besides paying bills , child support and the rent he also supports his adult bummy brother and his nephew and this is very frustrating for me because I care about the guy, he makes me laugh, I could talk to him about anything, he's really smart and he's a hardworker. he doesn't do drugs, smoke, or get drunk and he's a loving dad so it's hard for me to just kick him to the curb just because he can't afford to take me out and i know that money isn't everything but when I look at the big pic. and if I ever want to move in with him I think that we're always going to have money problems.and that we're hardly going to go out on dates so I would like some advice on what to do or if there's anybody that could relate to me and how do they handle it

Answer 1

I hate to say it, but it's pretty easy. Stop staying in a relationship because you feel sorry for someone. Think about your best interests and what you want to offer someone and what that person must be worth to receive your gifts. You have no attachments, he screwed up and has kids to raise- you do not need to get sucked into that pandora's box. Just find someone single, loving and without previous major flaws like kids that arent yours.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to be harsh, but it sounds like you're being a little shallow. If he's that strapped for cash, wouldn't you rather he spent what little was leftover on his kids? Don't dump someone because they're going through hard times. On the other hand, though, you need to talk to him about his brother and his nephew. Is that a temporary arrangement? It sounds a little iffy,

And hell- if you want to go out, why don't you pick up the tab and treat him to a nice date? Or find something free or inexpensive. Go for a walk, or a picnic, or take his kids to the park. You can have alot of fun without money!

Answer 3

If you're talking about the big pic, skip the 'moving in with him' and get to the issue of marrying him! Honestly, what's with the fascination with playing house?
I think you like this guy a lot but you don't love him. He's a lot of things you want but he is not everything. You look for just about everything in the man you marry. You are right to think that there won't be much money around and with kids, not much leisure and fun dating. So - I'm not making a judgement about your values at all - find someone who lines up everything you want and go with that person instead.

Answer 4

First thanks on your suggestion on my question, staggering suggestion I truthfully have heard. 2d i visit allow you to comprehend've some Epic emotions for Pat and also you both have made blunders and realized. I say that you are able to attempt it once more suitable yet no longer to allow issues fly too quickly, dont let him into your life the day when you initiate decrease back up. Take issues slower so as that if some thing does happen back, which on your sake i wish it would not because you look very outstanding, you wont be damage as undesirable. except that you would only opt to persist such as your instincts in this one, you comprehend your self and what you elect more suitable powerful than actual each man or woman else up right here. i wish you're making a good desicion that makes you satisfied and works out for the excellent.

Answer 5

Its called real life. Long term relationships or marriages are not always rosey and perfect. And even though we love the guy we are with, they are always gonna do something we disagree with or dont like. You man is stepping up and putting his money with his priorities, which, as his woman, you should be accepting. You gotta learn to take the good with the bad.
My question is, if you know his money is going for rent, child support, etc., why cant you pay for some dates? There is no law that says the man has to pay.

Answer 6

RUN!! to the nearest bookstore and get Dr. Laura Schlinger's book "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" and read it cover to cover. You are on the right track of thinking, but with so many variables in this relationship honey you Will Be Sorry if you stay. He needs his undivided attention lavished on these kids first and foremost and you are just another deterrant, and you can do better.

Answer 7

If you want marry the guy he has to get rid of the extra baggage (the brother and nephew) If not just leave him. If you don't have kids think twice about marrying a man who does. It's not as easy as you might think. I married a woman with a kid. Lots of problems will arise. Just know what your getting in to. Sounds like a good guy. Whats your limit?

Answer 8

Your situation is like mine, where I"m engaged and my fiancee has trouble leading her own life because her family depends on her for everything. She has a hard time letting go and it frustrates me where I have to be patient. First, look at things just you and him in the future not including family. He'll have more money to focus just on you. For now, be creative. Take picnics, walks on the beach, go to the movies, or things where he won't see as such an expense. Later,you'll be happier just you and him. Hope this helps a little.

Answer 9

This person has kids. Sure you may get out once in a while...but don't count on it. You have to understand what you are putting yourself into when you are with this guy. He sounds like a great guy, but are you sure you are ready to be a mother figure in the kids lives....because you will have to be there for them too. Its not just yo and him..its a family. Think about it.

Answer 10

If you do care about the guy, then maybe you should pitch in...take him out on a date. I'm sure he would appreciate that. Sounds like he is supporting everyone and not even his own girlfriend is supporting him. Don't be so selfish, a guy is not there just to be able to afford to take you out.