O.K here's how it goes. my 18 yr old sister snuck out of parents house ran away with a boy, got preg, boy doesn't want her no more and now she is 5 mo pregnant and no where to go. My mom and step dad are older and I don't think they can handle a baby and I don't know what else to do but let her move in with me. Not for forever just until she has the baby and can find means to support it. I can see where my husband is comming from, we have our own child and our own bills. He thinks she got herself into this mess she can get herself out of it, but that is my sister if she didn't have me what else could she do? should I go against my husband and move her in anyway? I can't turn her down. Does anybody have any other options?
2007-03-25 18:04:01 · 8 answers · asked by jla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For a moment, think about this. If this was your daughter, what would you want her to do? Would you want to be there for her or would you expect your other child to take her in? Bottom line is that she is 18, and an adult. What are her plans? Sounds like a family meeting may be in order here, if it would be accepted by your sister. Are your folks able to provide the temporary housing while she has her child and is able to stabilize her own family. If she is willing to accept the housing, maybe you can offer childcare or other assistance, such as being a mentor and wonderful Aunt. This is a tough family situation that is playing out in many families. Your main priority, though has to be your own family. If you have the ability to offer more, then do it. You are not turning your back on her, you are doing what ever you can to help her and love her. She will be ok, with a loving supportive family... she will be ok, and so will her child. She will need to do a lot of growing up, before her child is born. Enabling her will stunt this important growth, remember this. She needs to see the situation for what it is and be able to handle her life maturely and do what is in the best interest of her child. That may mean living with mom and step dad for awhile and acting like an adult and not a teenager. Good luck to you, and remember to just count your blessings.
2007-03-25 18:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Siera 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you go against your husband's wishes, it could be the end of your marriage. I have to agree with your husband and it is your sister's responsibility to come up with a plan on what to do with her life and you are not her only solution.
She should get in contact with a Case worker at Social Service (Welfare Dept.) in your community to find out about getting into subsidized housing, getting signed up for Medicaid, TANF, food stamps and they are also likely to help her get set up for some sort of job training and licensed day care facilities that have subsidies based on a sliding scale according to what she makes.
2007-03-29 10:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to ask for forgiveness from her parents and go back there. By no means should you move her into your home against your husband's wishes. Your sister should consider giving her baby up for adoption so she can resume her life as a kid herself. There are plenty of loving homes just waiting for your niece/nephew. Both of my grandsons were adopted from Russia because there are so few adoptive babies available here.
2007-03-26 01:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about your husband and your own child, I know its hard to see family in a struggle, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If having your sister move in is for the best, then im sure your husband will come around, but you never know.
2007-03-26 01:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by invisiblekisses2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yikes...id say let her move in because that is your sister, and stuff happens in life where we need a little help! but i definately understand where your husband is coming from...do you think its realistic that she will move out once the baby is born?
you should try to make some sort of agreement or a timeline with your husband before she moves in. and let her know that is not a permanent situation. and while she is living with you aid her in finding a way to support her self.
good luck this is a tough one!
2007-03-26 01:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by xoxoxgrace 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell asking your husband again. Do you have other relatives who might be able to help you? I think its is better to stay with relatives first but if that is not possible, then may I suggest the local shelter for single mums?
2007-03-26 01:08:23 · answer #6 · answered by happy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all frankness, your priority is to your new family, and that means your husband. Your sister will be a massive emotional and financial drain on your family. Although she is family by 'blood' you have to find a better solution and avoid her imposition on you.
2007-03-26 01:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by bla 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should neva turn down your first flesh and blood....yes go against his word and condience him to let her stay....dat is mean because now that is his family too and you never do that to family no matta what...tell him that she will get a job and try and to pay yall bac when she has the baby she will get a job and pay for the baby yall wouldnt really need to do anythang..that she will clean the house and stuff and take care of your babii for free...and just stuff lyke dat...cuz he should neva try and come between sisterz that r close is yall r close but i hope yall r..
2007-03-26 01:11:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋