what can i do with a racist and obnoxious uncle?

Question

i am sicilian and my uncle is good to me and i love him but he is so rude and obnoxious and the only person to call him on it is my nonna everyone else pretends not to hear it when he makes his comment about blacks,jews,hispanics,asians,gays and so on it is really embarrassing cause he won't even hide it he will refuse to go in a store if the workers aren't white but at the same time when my brother started seeing a irish girl and brought her to his house he made a rude comment about irish people and told my brother to get that "trash" out his house i'm so close to telling him off but been biting my tongue to reduce conflict in the family and my dad told me to mind my own business he doesn't have to like "those" people. Am i wrong for feeling like this?

Answer 1

Tell him you are dating one of 'those' people.

Answer 2

Of course your not wrong! I know how you feel I have an obnoxious racist redneck brother. The best you can do is just go along with it because, no offense to your uncle or my brother, people like that just basically don't have the brain compassity to see things any other way but their own. Racism is for truly stupid people. Don't worry about it as long as you know who you are.

Answer 3

I am confused by your question. If you have the right to not be offended by other cultures and religions, and everything else. Does he not have the right to dislike people for those reasons? If he were the boss of a grand corporation, and his views stopped people from succeeding in his company, he should be punished. But if he prefers not to have certain people in his home or around him does he not have the right. Tolerance should be extended to everyone. Not just those who the government says we must tolerate. If he is so offensive, why do you visit him? Just stay away, and one day he may notice that his hatred caused his loneliness. This coin will always have 2 sides, and to force it to be one sided or the other is a restriction of freedom also. I would just stay away from him and surround myself with the people I like.

Answer 4

You need to tell your uncle that you don't share the same feelings as he does about different races an would appreciate it if he would respect you enough to not make rude remarks when you are around. Please stand up for what you believe because we need more people to look at the world as you do. Your uncle needs to watch his mouth, but I doubt that he will do that. If he continues to talk like this, just walk out and ignore him. You can't change some people, but you don't have to stay around and listen to him.

Answer 5

Your best bet is just to ignore him and not be around him except when you have to be. You are not going to change him and an argument won't solve anything. Since you know how he is don't bring anyone around when you know he will be there and if you bring someone and he shows up just get up and leave. If your parents ask you why you left later tell them the truth. You didn't want to be embarrassed in front of your friend by your uncle and his bigoted remarks.

Answer 6

No your not wrong for filling that way, But you have to realize he is not going to change even if you were to confront him. You can ask him about his views and try to find out why he fills that way. Racism is a nation wide problem and every race is raciest of a nether, And as much as most of us would like that to change it will not. There are so many misconceptions with every race it's not even funny. Like not all African Americans eat watermelon and fried chicken, Not all Chinese eat cats. If you where to ask any one there is always some thing they have herd that a nether culture does, Sorry for my rant so no you cannot change him and you are better off not confronting him. But again you can ask him about his views.

Answer 7

I'm an old guy and I like making fun of people like your uncle and their views. I boldly tell them that they are full of crap. And nothing they say about people it worth listening to so they should keep it to themselves. But guess what they don't listen to old guys either. It is like their brains are hardwired. Just speak up and contradict him all you want. Nothing will change him. Just tell your friends to ignore him. Everybody has run into characters like your uncle and they will understand.

Answer 8

Of course you aren't wrong for feeling like that, but he's entitled to his opinions too. Rarely do racists turn their views around based on a tongue lashing, because they are usually completely convinced they are right. I think confronting him would make you feel better, but it wouldn't accomplish much other than to sour your relationship with him. He is the one who is embarassing himself with his behaviour.

Answer 9

He doesn't have to like "those people," but he CERTAINLY doesn't need to yell that fact all over God's creation.

Are you comfortable telling him that? "Uncle, listen, I know you don't like ____ race, but do you think you could not make comments about them in public? It's embarassing to my brother's girlfriend and to everyone else."

If he doesn't listen, it's time for the family to not have him around.

Answer 10

You are never wrong for standing up against ignorance. Tell him how his behavior upsets you. If he truly cares about you at all, than he should be able to watch what he says around you. If he refuses, than that is not someone you need in your life.

Answer 11

Ur not wrong, but people, esp. older ones are stuck in their ways. I just wouldn't introduce him to anyone, and if you have to explain the way he is first, most people understand that the behavior is limited that one family member, but others will not. Avoid introducing the ones who will not understand - he won't mind not meeting them anyway if they aren't wasps, right?