I'm a 25 year old young woman, and I just came to the conclusion that I have commitment phobic. I push ppl away when I feel the relationship is getting to comfortable. I won't allow myself to have feelings for anyone, or give them time to catch them for me. I just pushed the guy I really liked away because for the first time I started having feelings, and it freaked me out. Every since I broke up with my ex I won't commit, what do I do?
2007-03-25 17:34:18 · 10 answers · asked by Ms. Educated 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Step into the fear. When you feel like ending a relationship again... tell the man.... "I feel like ending this right now because I'm afraid of what the future is going to be like. I won't end this if you will bear with me while I figure out what it is that I'm so afraid of. Stay with me. I don't REALLY want to lose you. I REALLY want to keep you, but in all honesty... it scares the lkhfkjhdfalf out of me. Will you help me through this and remind me from time to time that you're helping me through a fear? I don't mean to be tacky, but I want to be honest and face it. Everytime I find my feelings for someone, I look for a reason to dump him. I don't want to do that with you. Please help me."
2007-03-25 17:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to stop over analyzing the situation and just let things happen. And you not alone by any means, everyone is a little timid of long term commitment. And considering that 50% of marriages in divorce I can see where you are coming from. Just realize that you can't control every situation and there is no reason to try and control the uncontrollable. Just take care of yourself and everything will fall into place
2007-03-26 00:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're afraid of getting hurt and it freaks you out.
You are analyzing the relationship too seriously and making a big issue out of it.
Just go out and have a good time. The only time you should commit is when you know you are ready. In the meantime, don't hop into bed with every Tom, Dick, and Harry while you're at it.
2007-03-26 00:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, there are some issues that need dealing with. If you have had some things happen in your life that may make you feel that that is the reason you have these commitment problems, then maybe seeking some therapy would do you some good.
2007-03-26 00:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have issues of rejection and/or abandonement. Something or a series of events has happened in your life causing you to create an emotional block/wall on the pathway to your heart.
If you want; and you've got to want to do this...you can only resolve this issue by seeing some kind of therapist, reading some kind of self-help book, or joining a healing group of some sort.
I realize that all of these suggestions may sound silly, but commitment phobia isn't something that we are born with; it's a symtom/reaction to something that has happened in our past that has taught us not to be vulnerable with our hearts.
Now it's up to you to pinpoint what that something is. Once you find the source, you have to forgive it. It will be the only way to find true happiness in your relationships, because if you don't heal that wound you will never love freely and you will never feel worthy of love.
I know because I've been there. My father was a disappearing act and my mother never forgave my father for leaving her to raise her children on her own. As a result, it was hard for me to trust/commit in a relationship because the first man who was supposed to love and honor me in my life (my dad)...was never there. And I didn't realize until I was twenty-seven that I internalized that experience as rejection and abandonement.
It may not be your dad for you; it may be something tramatizing like your relationship with your ex....whatever it is..get to the root of it sooner and not later.
Hope this helps.
M.
2007-03-26 00:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Get Togetha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the flow. Take things slowly. I'm sure the guy who likes u will understand. Don't push the guy u like away! Chances dont come easily. u're 25 and don't miss anymore opportunities!
2007-03-26 00:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by AL75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe after you broke up with your x, pyscologically you became seriously independent.Didnt even realize it.You should just chill,your time to settle will come.If you liked that guy and regret pushing him away.Explain to him "whats up",maybe you guys could be friends or whatever.
2007-03-26 00:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time for yourself and reevaluate why you push men away. Either that or listen to Love Line.
2007-03-26 00:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mootron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling. Swear to God, it's the fastest way to bounce back. Do not waste time.
2007-03-26 00:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seek therapy..
2007-03-26 00:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋