My best friend has just announced his engagement to the girl he has been seeing for the last two years. Do I tell him that I have been having a clandestine relationship with her for the last year? She does want to marry him, but finds him less than satisfactory in the bedroom department. The girl and I are obviously fond of each other, but the relationship is a sexual one only. We do not see each other alone other than when we meet for sex.
2007-03-25 17:29:37 · 31 answers · asked by Bob Danvers-Walker 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Apparently, you should not have sexual intercourse with her again .. Otherwise, you best friend must wrestle you.
2007-03-25 19:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by blizzard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what kind of friend are you?! personally i think that your friend has a right to know. if she found him less than satisfactory in the bedroom department she should have spoken to him about it and not started cheating with his mate! it doesnt sound like this girl deserves the man but he should have the right to choose whether to give marriage a go or not, knowing all the facts. do you intend to carry on your relationship when he's married?? your secret relationship will come out in the end. thats the way it goes. and he will hate you both for letting him go through with the wedding not realising what was going on.
2007-03-28 07:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by sparky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a bit late for you to be concerned about "doing the right thing", isn't it? What's your motive? That your "best friend" has the right to know what "kind of girl" he is planning to marry? Or is your conscience hurting you . . . and you want your "best friend" to know what a louse you've been?
Either way, it doesn't matter. Yeah, tell the poor guy that his girl has been f******g his best friend. Then do the guy a favor and stay out of his life, because unless he too has the morals of an alley cat, he is going to be crushed at such a hideous betrayal.
2007-03-26 21:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your place to break his heart.
You need to talk to her - point out to her that mariage is about 'forsaking all others' and that she is going to have to learn to make love to this man andonly this man for the rest of her life. Warn her that if she marries him and if you later hear about her sleeping with someone else you will tell him.
Then don't see her ever, ever again.
If you do tell him what has been going on you run the risk that he won't believe you and will accuse you of envy - after all the woman he loves can do no wrong. The kindest thing to do is to stop this affair now. Let her decide how honest she wants to be with him and concentrate on being a best friend.
2007-03-26 04:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My guess would be if he's fond of this girl and wants to marry her, I'd say it's time to come clean about your sexual relationship. It's unfair to you both if your both in certain ways in love with the same person. And keeping the fact that your having sex behind his back it's really time to come clean, be his best friend and tell him
2007-03-26 00:35:44 · answer #5 · answered by WI Wedding Lady 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dude! That's wrong to be sleeping with you friends girl like that. No matter what the reason. Yeah, you for sure need to tell him about it. You can't let him marry her with this going on behind his back. That's wrong. But be prepared that your probably going to loose your friend and your lover. Do the right thing! Good Luck!
2007-03-26 21:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by warriorchic84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew he was seeing her than you are wrong for messing with her, and obviously are not that good of a friend. What needs to happen in your sex-only friend needs to approach him and tell him that she cannot marry him. Whether or not she discloses to him that it is because he cannot perform to the level that she feels she needs is up to her.
I would advise against it because that may hurt his feelings and affect his his self esteem. While sex isnt the biggest thing in a marriage, it is important nonetheless and if she isnt sexually satisfied, then it may bother her for years to come and she may cheat during marriage to get that part of her needs met- which is really wrong.
Bottom line is that you are wrong for what you did and you already know it. If you thought you were doing the right thing you would not have posted this question because you already would have figured out what types of responses you would be getting.
2007-03-26 00:51:38 · answer #7 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should tell your friend!!!! Do you want him to get hurt? Not that you sleeping with his girl isn't going to hurt him but that is just something that you are going to have to deal with. You can't let him continue to plan his wedding with this girl if she has been cheating on him with you. As for what he does to you, you will probably deserve it. He has the right to know. If it was not you sleeping with the girl then I don't think you would be asking for advice I think that you would have already told him. Suck it up, and tell him what is going on he deserves to know.
2007-03-26 10:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by vixenangel_ia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, morals aside (you've had enough lecturing on your behaviour) - you CAN'T let your friend marry this girl. She's shown she can't be faithful, and is unbelievably disloyal not only to have slept with his best friend (you) but to have told said friend that her fiance's crap in bed. That's about as big a betrayal as it gets. Furthermore, are the two of you going to stop your dalliance once they're married? Doubtful. Do you want the paternity of their children to forever be in doubt? This is a no-win situation and you really owe it to your friend to do something. My advice would be to get her to call it off - I mean, why does she want to marry him anyway? I'm guessing money, perhaps, because it sure aint love. Tell her to come clean that she's been seeing someone else and at least leave the guy with a little dignity by not telling him who it was with, and you damn well owe him a shoulder to cry on. If she refuses, you are going to have to come clean, you know you are. It's such a shame for this guy that he's been betrayed by the two people he feels he can most trust in the world - if you have a shred of decency, don't ruin his life by letting him marry this girl.
2007-03-26 00:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
OMG man you call your self a christian OMG, talk about appalling to the fact that it has made me sick to my stomach to think you would do that to your best friend and are you married BTW????? cause if you are talk about the pot calling the kettle black man, gezzzzzzzzs. I think you need to really do some soul searching here and ask god for forgiveness for your adulteress heart cause. If I'm not mistaking the bible says not to covet thy neighbors wife, well your case it should say your best friends girl friend.
So in conclusion here what i think you and your fling should do is if you are married tell your wife and then tell your best friend that you and his woman have been screwing around behind their backs and take the full course action that is thrown at you... Then Finlay like i said ask god for forgiveness and then learn from your mistake my friend and BTW god bless you...
2007-03-26 02:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by Pat the fireman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. STOP the sexual relationship immediately!!!
2. Come clean to your best friend. Yes you was wrong in what you have done, but in terms of him marrying this girl, it should be out of the question. He will want to know exactly what type of girl he is willing to commit to.. whether they stay together after this or not is relevant, your priority is to be true to your best friend... and stop this relationship!
Do it ASAP...
2007-03-26 02:31:18 · answer #11 · answered by ஐ♥PinkBoo - TTC #1♥ஐ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋