Ok, so I have 1 child of my own. And 1 dog, and 1 foster dog (who both are always on a lead, but one of them is very nervous with kids). Last summer, they were coming to my door (all 4 of them, ages 3-7) asking for something to drink, and eat. Walking right into my house, etc.!
How can I politely tell my neighbors that they need to keep their children in their yard..UNLESS they are invited over by me? I have attempted to tell these young kids that myself, over and over again. And if my dog bites them, it's my fault reguardless. And I need them to respect my yard and my child's things when they are left outside! They constantly remove her stuff from our yard, and I find them next door. Sometimes even as long as the next day.
And let me add, our yard isnt fenced in yet (hopefully after summer), and there are never any adults outside with them to watch them. So when my own daughter and myself go out to play, I wind up being their child sitter, because I'm the only adult out there! Help
2007-03-25
17:25:14
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23 answers
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asked by
Kimberlynne
4
in
Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Parenting
Thanks, it's all some really great advice. I'm usually pretty harsh, but when it comes to children and pets, I am a softy. I know our own dog wouldn't bite, but with foster dogs....it's so hard to tell with strange kids coming into our yard what these foster dogs would do.
I will attempt a talk with them the next time it happens. And Im sure it'll be soon with the weather being so nice now.
Thanks so much. And you all made me feel like I wasnt the horrible thinking person I thought I was being last summer, lol. I hope this works:)
2007-03-25
17:45:51 ·
update #1
Just tell them exactly what you've told us. You don't have to be "nice" when it comes to liability issues. If they get hurt in your house, and their parents aren't around, what are you supposed to do? You have very real fears, and personal property is PERSONAL property. When the kids show up, tell them to go home and ask their mom for a drink. If you are out playing with your kid when they show up, tell them you want to play by yourself with your daughter, and that if you want them to come over, you will go to their mom and ask her if they can come over. If their parents aren't teaching them manners, then you need to, if only to save your sanity (and your legal fees)...
2007-03-25 17:34:40
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answer #1
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answered by Angela M 6
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If talking to the parents - forcefully if necessary - hasn't helped, you may need to do something more drastic like calling Child Protective Services. Maybe the kids are asking for food and drink because they are neglected or there isn't anything in the house. Maybe they're being put out of the house and not allowed back in because the parents don't want to deal with them or there isn't a babysitter. If there is a babysitter, maybe it's not a very good one, and a seven year old is far too young to be expected to watch younger ones.
Either way, they need more supervision than the parent is providing, and someone needs to take responsibility for getting these kids the care they need. If an adult walked into your house or went from house to house in the neighborhood begging for food you'd call the police. Maybe they need to get involved the next time this happens. They are trespassing, breaking and entering, and stealing. Having police come to the door to return the children might make the parents take more notice of the situation.
They also need to be taught that they can't take things from the yard, but again, that's a lack of supervision on the part of the parents. I would get the fence up as soon as possible, definitely before the summer. I'd also lock the front door and not answer it without checking who it is!
Good luck!
2007-03-25 17:40:49
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answer #2
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answered by TeacherLady 6
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Unles you come right out and tell the parents that their kids need to stay out of your yard I think you are stuck.. Sorry.
You really might have to be rude to them. I might be the only way.
If an adult just walking in to your house and ask for food and a drink would you give it to them.? So why is it ok if a child does it. When this happens, SEND THEM HOME.
I know you might not like it but you may have to lock your doors so they can not just walk in.
Can you tuff out the yard part until yours is fenced.?
2007-03-25 17:30:58
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answer #3
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answered by LadyCatherine 7
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Explain to your neighbors that you are fostering a dog (or dogs) and while there have been no issues you are not 100% certain of the dog's temperment. And you do not want to take any chance of putting their children at risk.
If this doesn't work, write up a legal document stating they you have apprised them of your dogs and requested they not allow their children uninvited in your yard. Ask them to sign this relieving you of any liability if their child(ren) are injured.
Good luck!
2007-03-25 17:32:05
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answer #4
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answered by Shalvia 5
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Only thing beyond a fence that I can recommend is simply talking to them. Invite them over for tea (coffee, lemonade ... whatever) and explain the situation.
Hmm. Get screen doors with locks. Explain to the that you'd love to have them over for lemonade later, but right now isn't a good time.
It used to be that this sort of behavior was not only acceptable but expected -- of course, it was also expected to be returned in kind. My grandmother used to be shocked that I go paid to babysit the neighbour's kids.
2007-03-25 17:31:21
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answer #5
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answered by melanie 5
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Tell the kids to GO HOME. As for talking to the parents, you don't need to be polite just blunt.. Tell them that you don't want them in your yard or house for the matter unless you invite them in.. If this fails and they continue in this matter then you may have to call the police. I know it sounds silly but it is still considered theft and tresspassing no matter what the age.
2007-03-25 17:34:50
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answer #6
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answered by stacie 2
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Eek. That stinks. At first I was going to say "what's the big deal," because I thought it was just a territorial thing, but man... what a pickle. I would phrase your concerns exactly as you did here. You don't seem angry (and it's hard not to convey anger in writing), so I think the message will come across well. Mention that you cannot be held accountable for their children, but fear that you are responsible, by proxy, of caring for their children when they are in your yard.
2007-03-25 17:29:30
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answer #7
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answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7
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Let them know that you don't want to be responsible for your dog biting their kids. And, that the dog is kid-nervous. I'm sure that will keep their kids on the other side of the fence.
2007-03-25 17:39:59
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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I had a similar problem once. Your neighbors are obviously inept in monitoring their children & their behavior, so unless you blatantly come out and just tell them, they won't get the hint. Be as diplomatic as you can, but don't beat around the bush. If you are TOO polite, they just won't 'get it'.
(I would play up the nervous dog angle & get a fence as soon as possible).
.
2007-03-25 17:32:07
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answer #9
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answered by Maewest 4
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Ok, I have been through the very same thing.As soon as you see these children coming up your walk, send them home.And make sure you put up No Trespassing signs, also Beware Of Dogs signs.This way you let anyone entering your property, you have put of these signs for a reason.Good luck!
2007-03-25 17:40:16
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answer #10
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answered by Marna S 4
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