When's a good time?

Question

My boyfriend and I have made some hasty mistakes in the past, previous to meeting each other. As in, getting intimate too fast in a relationship, and the relationship getting bad soon afterwards.
So, we've talked about it and agreed on no-sex for a while, because we really like each other and we don't want to screw things up between us by getting into it too soon.

We have talked about what precautions we would take (we're both free and clear, jobs, responsible adults), what we like and don't like, etc, but definately that we should wait a while. It's an honestly mutual decision, since he suggested it (though, I think I'm a little less for it than him..).

I know every relationship is different, this ones really different from my past relationships, but what the question I have is, when is too soon/a good time? We've talked about going out of town (camping, the beach, etc) together, just the two of us, could we do those without sex?

This is not made for offense, but, I know people who've recently gotten married and waited until they got married to have sex.

They've had sex eight times and they've been married for five months.

I don't think something like THAT would happen, at least not if I had anything to do with it (I'm horrible), but still, sexuality (I feel) is another part of a person, and I wouldn't want to have a this hole of ignorance about my husband before I married him, you know?

Sorry, that might just be how I feel, even if it's good in theory, I'm not sure how good it is in practice...

Answer 1

I'm wondering why you're implying that you're 'horrible' if you want to have sex? As long as you're faithful to your partner, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have a healthy sex life.

Yes, you could definitely do a lot of romantic things without sex and have a great relationship. However, it sounds like you still have some issues that you want to work out with your boyfriend. Specifically, you have concerns that you won't like the sex or that he won't want to have sex as often as you do. You're going to have to have another talk with your boyfriend about your concerns. It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but it's one you're going to have to have if you want your answers.

Answer 2

The best would be wait till your married and no not because the bible says so. The fact is if you can make the relationship work with out sex think how much easyer it will be with it. You can do anything without sex. The longer you go with out it the more youll know he is in love with you.

Answer 3

If you both have talked about it-then go and decide beforehand that you are not having sex no matter what. I have been out of town and spent the night with guys as well and not had sex. It's called willpower. We all have it, try using it.

Answer 4

Sure you could... but the good thing is if you're eager to have sex with him... going on a little vacation could be good for that. You're both having fun and getting alone, you're alone... the internal juices are flowing. One thing can definitely lead to the other.

Answer 5

of course you can --- if both are committed to making the relationship work going away together is a great time to get to know each other and all those little habits that you need to know about --- best wishes

Answer 6

yes you can...and you should do without the sex...just enjoy each other without anyone else..and go with the flow..if it happens...dont beat yourself up about it...you both will want it...and if you really like him...and he likes you..there wont be anything wrong with it...you both know that youre not just a hook up...take it slow...all you have is time

Answer 7

Totally! Here's the way I look at it:

Why GO somewhere to have sex, you can do that at home. You should go somewhere to be GOING, not to do things you do at home. It's like doing work on vacation...

Answer 8

sure, you can always go anywhere without having to have sex... some people have told me its more fun to go on vaca without sex...

Answer 9

yep