My best friend and i are close and have been cool for three years - just recently found out that we really have deep feelings for each other (he's liked me "forever") but decided that there's too much on our plate right now - when the time is right, it will happen. We decided just to keep being friends and he sounded happy. (btw, he's the "shy guy" type - he's outoing with friends but has no game when it comes to girls) He said, "wow. i'm glad we're friends again, i can talk to you about everything again b/c before i didn't know what to do or say..."
So now, we'll talk but not as much - i guess we're taking baby steps? Everytime we talk, he just seems bummed out...just sad and very "blaaah" - he's still normal and himself but there's just this vibe...that he's sad. and I KNOW he does care for me...and it's not like he doesn't wanna talk to me...i know that for sure..he just seems...sad...
why?
2007-03-25 17:14:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
bc although he said he was fine with just being friends he actually still wants to be more. he wants u as his girlfriend not just his friend. he loves you girl not just 'liks you' dont give that up. its hard to find
2007-03-25 17:18:40 · answer #1 · answered by Miss K.V. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I had this ordeal too. Same type of shy guy and also a good friend. We passed the friendship status and went dating for a while. But it didn't work out.
He somehow wasn't there for me like when we were still friends. Which sucked, because with a gf 'status' I wanted 'more' attention. And he wasn't the type to do stuff like that. No lovey-dovey-ness.
I guess it was because of his inexperience in dating, that your guy seems bummed. He doesn't know what to do.
Be patient and lead him through the process with baby steps.
If you push him too hard he might run away. <-- this happened to me *sob*
2007-03-26 00:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by sk|TTLes™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think rather than asking us and telling us all of this, you really need to address this question to *him*. "You sound bummed out when you're talking to me - what's happening with you? I love you and care about you, and that's why I'm asking".
Sounds like maybe he on some level is afraid of having deep feelings for you or is on unfamiliar ground when it comes to having deep feelings for someone, although he may not admit it. Try to gently coax him to open up to you. Be patient with him, but not so patient that you are put off forever.
Life is short - in my opinion too short to put things off just because you "have to much on your plate right now". Both of you will always have a lot on your plates. If you both really have deep feelings for one another, you should act like there may not ever be a tomorrow (who knows, there may not). Live your lives with gusto, and just go for it - trust me, things will work themselves out in that regard if your feelings for each other are real, and you both commit to them. Best of luck to both of you and God Bless
2007-03-26 00:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by the phantom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes trying to hide his feelings for you. hes acting like he no longer likes you like that, hes holding back. im not sure why, maybe the time is now and hes waiting for you to say something. i mean how much could you have on your plates? if you guys love each other isn't that the most important thing that could ever be on a plate. You have to talk to him about you guys. hes unhappy, because he wants to be with you. I'm in this same boat, the waiting for the right time thing, cept om your little friend here. my guy thinks i sound blah when we talk and its because i want him and hes not ready. talk to him!!!
2007-03-26 00:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by Youll See 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are there other guys you are talking with and or seeing? If the answer is yes do not assume that there is no way he could possibly know about it. He Knows. He does not want to throw the towel in because he cares about you but he feels like he is having to compromise himself to keep waiting on you.
2007-03-26 00:20:04 · answer #5 · answered by Justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he doesn't know how to make the first move. He is trying to play hard to get in his own little way. If you want to be his boyfriend, you are going to have to make the first move. He is bummed out because he thinks you don't like him the way he likes you.
2007-03-26 00:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by nelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not good. Can't remember the name, it is a form of depression. Not good material for a relationship. Believe me. I know many who have been down that path
2007-03-26 00:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to consume all of your attention. By you questioning his well being he is reassuring himself that he is cared for. I would call it a nasty mind game, but it is somewhat an uncounscious behavior.
2007-03-26 00:18:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him youre in love with him...and if he is still bummed out...then leave him alone...if he sounds like the happiest guy on the planet...then you know why he was bummed out in the first place
2007-03-26 00:17:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's actually ready but he knows you have to much on your plate so he's waiting for you, that could be it
2007-03-26 00:18:29 · answer #10 · answered by j_rock032004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋