Why did my ex flip out on me?

Question

Recently, I started talking to my ex. It all seemed to start out very romantically, and he called every day for a week, and I thought we were talking about getting back together, but he didn't call one night when he had said he would, and I texted him wondering what was going on. He called and started yelling at me--I took it all, thinking it was good to get this kind of feeling out in the open, but then, the next thing I knew, he was pulling back and calling at his convenience only. I tried to be nice and say how happy I was at the positive things he was doing, but he seemed pretty upset. He encouraged me to talk about the past, and we got some very important things out in the open, including him asking me why I had to leave NYC, and why didn't I let him move in w/ me when he was ready. Later, he wrote an email in which he talked about wanting to stay in touch but on his terms, and also basically saying that he didn't feel the same way as he used to on the phone. What's his problem?

Answer 1

sweetie I think that he may be trying to get you back for unintentially hurting his feelings.your best bet is to leave it alone and move on because he will probably never be into you like he used to be and you don't want to play that role with him because you will only make yourself feel bad.You didn't try to hurt him and he might never understand this so ,just move on and let him do the same.

Answer 2

He is insecure and suffers from anger problems. His behavior suggests that he his tendancies could turn into verbal, emotional or physical abuse based on the degree to which he is unable to cope with confrontation, disappointment, fear, or insecurities.

The bigger question is whether or not you notice your problem. On several occassions, under many different circumstances, you were treated cruely, disrespected as a person, not allowed a say so in establishing guidelines for what will best work for both of you.

There are a lot of questions you could think about: Did you see men treat women with a lack of respect? Was your mother one who never stuck up for herself or one who always smoothed things out? Do you believe that you have to do what anyone you "love" says in order for the relationship to work.

Your behavior could imply that you have enabling tendancies. That is a fancy term for door mat syndrome. You let people treat you like a door mat and then get mad at them for letting you down and walking all over you.

Continue to keep your ex an ex, and when a relationship is genuine, a man trusts his partner to work with him to determine what works best in their relationship in a verbally affirming, nurturing, financially giving, non-sexually affectionate way. Real sex comes when those things are met without the sex.

The man of your dreams will make you laugh, always make you feel beautiful, never make you feel inferior to another women or one of his friends or family members, value what you feel, say, value, and leave you feeling calm, peaceful and secure - THAT is REAL love.

Keep looking.

Answer 3

Leave this alone. Whatever reasons you broke up with him (from what i gather) for in the first place hurt his feelings and he is not sure if to trust you and he also has some unresolved feelings/or unforgiveness about your former relationship and he is confused and confusing you. But don't allow yourself to be strung along. Don't become a convenience. let him figure out what he wants and leave him alone.

Answer 4

He probably wanted sex and it is easier to go back to what you know instead of finding something new.
It is a booty call.
The relationship ended.
Don't disrespect yourself any more.

Answer 5

He's a controlling piece of crap. Don't worry about what his problem is... yours is to remove yourself from his controlling ways.
Be good to yourself.

Answer 6

He's a dork. Thats his problem.