What's the best way to tell my very Christian family that I am an atheist?

Question

Aren't "atheist" and "lack of faith" one in the same? (or pretty close)

Pastor Yikes:
Shouldn't you be capitalizing "god"? Also, I don't believe that just because something as crazy as what you have mentioned is written in a book gives anyone the "right" to be violent. Violence in the book of god's love..another contradiction.

John:
Pascal's Wager is silly. Read Dawkins' "The God Delusion" pgs. 103-105

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I think I'm going to just lay low for now.

Answer 1

I know it may be difficult, but I advise you not to tell them. They still believe, and your opinions are unlikely to change that fact. These people love you. (I assume. If not, then what does it even matter?) And they deeply believe that you are damned for eternity. What good is this "knowledge" going to do them when weighed against the potential pain?

Why do that to them? If I could take back the pain I've caused my family, I would do it in a heartbeat. No, it's not my fault they believe what they do, but I still could have kept my mouth shut with little repercussion except mild frustration on my part.

Answer 2

I suppose that this is not an easy question to answer, in that we don't know your parents at all. If they are good at parenting and if you are of a certain age and if they will listen to reason - it could all turn out well.
You should have the courage of your convictions. You should not be a hypocrite and pretend for their sake.
You should stand up and be recognised and be proud of your mental capacity.

I was lucky - both my parents were atheists but they never influenced me either way when I was young. They even sent me to Sunday School!!!!

If you are of the age of maturity, whatever that is legally where you live (my guess is that you are in the US) then step up to the plate, take a few practice swings and then hit one into the bleachers. It will feel SO good.

Answer 3

Atheism is just a word.

We all come under the same
laws of physics that define who
we are, and when we show up.

Bear in mind, the energy that makes
creation is not the forces. And the
forces are not an energy form. There
has already been too much lost time
searching for the Higgs Bosom.

Try to make your parents understand
that you see things a little differently
then they do.

Our biggest fear should not be the
"doubting thomas."
The greatest threat to our species is
the child who has no questions.

Answer 4

Ask yourself: How would you tell them if they were atheist and you were Christian? Proceed the same way.

Do it respectfully, honestly, and clarify that you are no different morally or psychologically than you ever were. Stress that (presumably) you won't fight over saying Grace at dinner or about Christmas celebrations, as they might be worried that your beliefs will cause strife over family traditions (and if you decide to be a jerk about saying Grace at dinner, things will be uncomfortable and you won't be treating your family well).

Give them time to digest it. Be slow, kind, and considerate. If it's at all possible, involve a church official whom they respect to be there as a 'moderator,' if he's willing - just to make sure things are done with respect and with love.

Those are the best suggestions off the top of my head, anyway.

Answer 5

Just say it. Maybe in a letter if you're not confrontational.

i've seen better days
been the star of many plays
and the bottom drops out
my cup's filled up with five buck wine
find myself here all the time
another rip in the glass
another chip in my tooth
rained on i've been stained on
found another goat i tried to put the blame on

Better Days - Citizen King

Answer 6

Buy Sam Harris' book "Letter To a Christian Nation" Knowledge is the best way to be able to tactfully state your beliefs.

Another answerer accurately noted the gay "coming out of the closet" analogy. Here's a good short article about that:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/atheists_the_ne.html

Answer 7

Well my whole life growing up was hard because my family was christian, I hated not dressing up for halloween, and I was never able to listen to any music that wasn't christian, I started working alot so that they wouldn't drag me to church and when me and my mom got into a big fight I just blurted everything out she was upset at first but she eventually got over it.

Answer 8

There's something I better tell you. In the Bible god says that when you discover someone in your family who is bowing down to a false god then you must stone them.

You are an atheist, and so you are in that category. Your family are within their rights to stone you.

I just wanted to tell you so you can't say nobody told you. I'm surprised you don't even know. And what if they actually decide to stone you? What then?

Good luck anyway. I just feel really bad about the whole situation.

Answer 9

I would not mention it. Even within the same family you need to work out your own answers , if you disagree with Christianity just follow your own path.

Answer 10

ha! that's liked asking whats the best way to tell my husband I slept with his brother, there is no best way.

your family will most likely not understand, accept or respect your values.

you can explain how you feel and believe but dont hold your breath waiting for acceptance.