She is 11. Her sister is 14. Her sister hasn’t talked to her for 6 mnths because her parents don’t allow her date, go to the movies or friends house, & are very strict. Her sister told her to tell their parents to give her the freedom & not worry about her because when she was 11, she wasn’t allowed to do many things the 11 yr old can now because the second child always has more freedom than the first. She refuse to tell her parents to give her the freedom. Her elder sister feel it is unfair because she has freedom because of her elder sister & her elder sister can’t get freedom because of her. Her elder sister say she use her for freedom & is selfish & will not talk her until she do what her elder sister says. The parents know her elder sister hasn’t talked to her, but don’t know why. They questioned them but both kids refuse to tell parents the problem. Why are kids this way? Don't they want their parents to help them? If her sister don't tell, why don't she tell?
2007-03-25 15:58:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They don't trust the way their parents are going to respond. They feel if their parents will judge them and restrict them more. This is the problem not having an open line of communication with your kids. You raise them from birth not when the turn teenage.
2007-03-25 16:03:10 · answer #1 · answered by James M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if I read this right, the 11year old can date, go to movies/friends, etc but when the 14year old was 11 she couldn't do that stuff...so now the 14year old hasn't spoken to the 11year old for 6mos. Does the 14year old have the same freedoms now that the 11year old has? The 14year old has every right to be angry...but she should be angry with the parents who changed the rules.
The kids don't say anything because they don't know how to tell mom and dad that they screwed up without getting into trouble. The parents set a precedence with the first child of no movies or dates until 14 and they need to stick with that for the second and any other children they have. Its the only fair way to do things.
My kids are 16 and 12 and the 12year old knows she can't color her hair until she is 14 bcause thats how old the oldest was when i let her. Ears were pierced at the same age...boyfriends weren't allowed until the same age....its just the only fair way to do it.
Why don't you take the initiative to put a bug in the parents ear? Tell them that they may be surprised to find that they are at the root of the problem with the kids. And that will open up a conversation about it. Then you can tell them that kids need to know that things have to be fair or they will think that the parents are playing favorites.
2007-03-25 23:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very unfortunate that the parents do not communicate very well with either of their daughters, because if they did this would have come out by now.
It is not the girls' faults. This is an inherent (embedded) problem within the family core. The two girls mistakenly think it is each others fault. It is not. They are still children, you can't expect a child to fix a communications problem.
Even though this will probably blow up in her face, the 11 year old needs to come clean with her parents and maybe even ask for some family counseling. The lid needs to be blown off this family to provide an opening for communication.
Tell this 11 year old good luck!
2007-03-25 23:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends on how their parents project to their children. Usually parents have the tendency to just shout out, not listen, not validate the feelings of their children. Often also parents are so busy on everything else that there's no time to talk, chat and have quality time to create a bond a reciprocal way to talk at each other.
2007-03-25 23:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are not sensitively honest and logical in their approach.Kids are just younger but are human being having all feelings that adults have,think about it as the elder daughter than conclude.
2007-03-25 23:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by kalabalu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the girls' way of handling it themselves. If they go to their parents and the parents take over, the parents will treat the girls as if the girls are being silly, when the girls feel it is a major problem.
2007-03-25 23:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by callmeplayfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know, I always told my parents ! but that was the 50s and 60s guess times have changed !!
2007-03-25 23:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by James k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's because the child is afraid of the parents reaction, or if not feels uncomfortable telling their parents.
2007-03-25 23:16:00 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because we're scared to tell them, and scared of what they might say, and do!
2007-03-25 23:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by chaching 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋