I am dating again after a failed engagement.
I don't want to repeat past mistakes and I am also finding the men I meet want to have sex right away. I tell them I want a serious relationship and I will not have sex until I am in a committed relationship, and they still try! I don't want to get hurt.
How do you know when a guy is genuine and where do you meet men who actually want a true relationship?
2007-03-25 15:49:28 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
SOME guys are just plain asses! - But hang in there!! ;-)
I have one that proves that the good ones DO exist, they aren't just a myhical creature like the unicorn - dreamt up for hollywood movies!
I met my boy through friends (most importantly it was a really good friend who wouldn't have let me meet up with a guy if she had thought he wasn't worth it)
Try asking a few of mates if they have any nice single guy friends and avoid all clubs/pubs YUCK we all KNOW the guys there are there for one reason.
And don't think it about it so much - you don't need to be with someone to make you or your life worth while so just enjoy the time were you are single - spend heaps of time with friends, doing all the stuff you love that often becomes difficult to find time for when you're in a relationship AND most importantly give each guy you meet a clean slate, give im the benefit of the doubt that he ISN'T anything like the last loser you met.
Good luck...
2007-03-25 16:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by StockRdHappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing. I am not sure how old you are but alot of men are only looking out for number one, at least the ones i have met.
My advice is date and date alot.. dont confuse that with sleeping around with all of the guys you date. But when you date enough men you will know what you want and what you dont want and you will be able to weed them out better.
Also, try being single for awhile.. get to know yourself better and find things that you like to do and try not to think about dating.. while in the process you might end up meeting someone that has the same interests as you do. Good luck!
2007-03-25 15:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy, first realize a proposal is not a committment the committment is made when they say "I do" and you are pronounced someone's wife.Next, tell them NO SEX at all until after you have been pronounced someone's wife by the preacher or justice of the peace and the marriage license is signed.Youll find out real quick what they want.They may say,"ok I can respect that" and still try to get in your panties, or theyll get mad and act like a baby.You get to know what kind of person the guy is BEFORE getting all emotional over them.You can learn a lot by watching and listening.Like for instance, do they have 6 x g/f's which 3 of them are suing him for child support?Does he have a "panty collection"?Does he start groping on the first date?It isnt hard, do not fall in love from afar or before you get to know the guy, hold your emotions at arms length and use your head girl.Also, quit fantasizing, forget the romance novel and soap opera crap.It is fiction written by writers not real life.
2007-03-25 15:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that if thats the only thing on the guys mind then he is either a virgin or really obsessed with sex. i've met some really charming guys in the past and honestly, sex wasnt the only thing on all of their minds. there is alot of sensitive guys out there. you just need to look. you can tell alot by a first impressions! if u think the guy is a pervert, then dont even give him a chance. if u think he's worth it then go on a couple dates and see how things go. the important thing is not to have sex with these guys ( at least not to soon ) cuz i find that most guys just try to push buttons with girls to see how far they will go. if u hold out longer then he might think more highly of you and want you more. Take things very slow!! time helps alot!
and also u could look in libraries and things like that. i mean for more sensitive & intellectual types of men..try meeting someone on line... it sounds crazy but when u try it.. its actually quite interesting.. maybe u like romance.. look for that. i dunno good luck tho
2007-03-25 16:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very rare. im single and still waiting for a decent guy to pop up. i know exactly what you are talking about. men are not like they use to be. they stopped making decent men in the 70's. everyone is just loosing their minds these days. the real men are either dead or waiting to be born. then the ones that are out there worth having are taken. so its like a needle in a haystack. it seems every guy i meet is the same way. and thats bad that a women cant find a decent man who has something on their mind other than sex. its really sad. but i bet you there will be people out there that disagree. that will tell you that your point ways made very clearly .
2007-03-25 15:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by eaglestraces123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your mind is right first - have you gotten over your ex - do these men beat you to the goal (sex that is) because they don't want to be your rebound guy?
Maybe it's the way you play your cards - don't make yourself for available for these new guys - don't be too needed - date and have fun. Have a serious relationship with yourself. Don't jump from relationship to relationship. Your looking for love in all the wrong places. Stop hurting yourself & Love yourself first!!!
2007-03-25 15:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by T.I.M.E. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sorry to say but there are no guarantees in life when it comes to not getting hurt.
Alot of guys do just want "sex" and no commitments but you will find that sweet genuine fellow who does want the same things you do. There is no one specific area to find a man like that. YOu have to meet them, get to know them and then you'll Know if they're true or not. Sometimes meeting ppl through friends...or house parties, ..You may still get afew broken hearts but eventually you'll find Mr.Right and Know it* GoodLUck*
2007-03-25 15:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did it ever occur to you that the ones that want sex may also want a serious relationship? Isn't romance and intimacy part of being serious with someone? Not that you have to have intercourse on the first date....but why be surprised that a man wants to, especially if you are attractive.
It cracks me up that women dress up in short skirts or tight jeans, spend an hour putting onj makeup. high heels, to look sexy......then they get bent out of shape when a guy tries to act on his desires.
2007-03-25 16:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question. Keep searching I am sure there is someone out there that will meet your expectations. Believe it or not there are guys that are looking for a serious relationship as well. It could be the age you are at or the age you are dating.
2007-03-25 15:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by PizzZak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will run into men who only want sex because they are too imature for a long term relationship. But if they are only interested in sex fromt eh start that's all they want and when they get it they will never beseen again. So be carefull and go slow and if they can't drop them and find another one pretty soon you will find who your looking for.
2007-03-25 15:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋