What to do with a 2yr old who doesn't listen?

Question

I know he can before he turned into a terrible two he use to, what can I do?

he'll scream and cry forever and throw himself on the floor, hits his baby sister. What do I do when at a public place also?

Answer 1

As the saying goes, choose your battles.

Think about each argument before the very first firm, "No," erupts from his little lips:

Is it truly important enough to battle over it?
Can this one be avoided by any means?

You can avoid arguing with your two year by offering non-negotiable choices. Then, he feels as if he's making his own decision (autonomy). Keep in mind he says no because he needs to exert some control over his (demanding) life. The twos are terrible because children are beginning the autonomy vs. shame stage of development, when they seek some of the control that is constantly being exerted over them.

Also, place your favored choice at the end of your list, since little ones are apt to choose whatever you say last. This was a study I put to practice, personally, and it works.

Then, praise his responsible decision-making, verbally only. He'll begin to feel like a 'big boy' for making that choice himself. Never, ever, bribe him to get your way—or else he'll come to expect this from you.

You can either make or buy a behavior chart, too, if you are disciplined enough to follow one. For each time he acts responsibly, you put a star on it, and for so many stars (a predetermined amount), you and your son can decide on a weekly reward (a trip to his favorite park, or whatnot). This type of routine will also help him prepare for school, because they do this sort of rewards model all the time, there. Positive reinforcement.

As far as screaming tantrums in the store, the best policy is for you (and your other child) to ignore him. Ignore him until he stops, because he's asking for negative attention. If he doesn't stop after a few minutes, abandon your cart and usher your children out of the store.

They may both be shocked, and you will be agitated by the inconvenience. However, you won't have to do this frequently, since he's going to remember how you reacted before.

If he behaves like that at home, simply ignore him (verbally and nonverbally) until he stops. If he's hitting his sibling during his tantrum, separate them, assuring the other child that she's not being punished, but continue to ignore the tantrum-throwing child until he settles down. Once he settles down, explain to him what behavior is acceptable, and ask for an apology.

Finally, buy, or borrow, a decent child growth and development book, as kids don't come with handbooks. It's not admitting defeat; it really helps to understand what you have forgotten about being a kid, as well as it explains lots of studies people have done on childhood.

Answer 2

Just remember this is a phase that will pass, and the more patient you are, the better he will come out of it.
Firstly, I'd say, although it certainly heightens the situ being in a public place when little one kicks off (and you can't take time out in another room for them to appreciate your efforts again), try and develop a sort of force-field so you don't let it get to you being a spectator sport. Remember, Everyone has been there (as parent or child).
Then the only thing is to keep him safe and proceed with what you are doing as best you can. Try and remember in that moment what is important: can part of your planned sequence of events be postponed to restore calm? In the heat of the moment it's easy to get fixated on the fact that the tantrum is making life very difficult. Your decisive and dignified action is key for your toddler to learn to listen to and respect you in the coming years. Stay cool.

Answer 3

I have 2 year old twin boys. (and a 6yr old, and a 4 month old) When they are really naughty they have a time out bench that they sit on. I tell them why they are there and that they can not get up for 2 minutes. If he does get up then I say no and put him back. And I keep doing it till he stays for the 2 minutes. Then I make him say hes sorry. And we hug. And amazingly this works for our family. It sounds simple and after the first few times they realized I was serious. And I can and will make a time out spot where ever we go. I also use bribery at the store (or anywhere public). A nice little sucker can keep a kid happy and quiet for about 10 minutes. Plus never get mad at your 2 yr old if you take them to the store when they are hungry or tired. Its not fair to them.

Answer 4

He is 2 , so he should be able to understand when you are upset about sometime he is doing.

Make sure what ever he is doing that you do not want him to do that you stop him right away and look in him the face and say NO.. Move him from what ever he is doing that is wrong and if you need to sit him down , time out for a 2 year old should ONLY be for about a sec or two, long and they do not understand.

The one thing you need to keep up is making sure you are consitent with things. If it is wrong once then it is alway wrong. Anything else and it will just make things worse.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

HI,

My son has just turned 2 and it all started around 1 year 8 months.

I have tried naughty chair, naughty corner and other things but nothing works.

All i do now is just keep repeating no and explain why i am saying it. Seems to help a little.

The other thing we do is threaten him with a stick. We never use it, but it looks scary for a 2 year old.

Good luck

Answer 6

Terrible Twos - DrGreene.comIdeal children do NOT always agree with their parents. Ideal parenting does not prevent the Terrible Twos -- it helps children navigate them.
http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?xyzpdqabc=0&id=21&action=detail&ref=556 - 110k - Cached - Similar pages

Terrible Twos and Your ToddlerBy learning more about the terrible twos, a normal stage in your child's development, it can make it easier to get through it and make sure that you aren't ...
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/toddlers/a/05_terrble_twos.htm - 26k - Cached - Similar pages

Terrible Twos Countdown CalculatorOur Terrible Twos Countdown Calculator can help you figure out when your toddler's tantrums and quick mood changes might end.
http://pediatrics.about.com/library/calc/bl_terrible_twos.htm

Answer 7

.all you can do is offer positive coaching. like persuading them to do something else with all that energy
Enjoy.
they're only 2 once.
Make sure hes not to tired or give him a piece of cheese to mellow him out while your shopping. And don't give in to the buying him something all the time. He'll adjust. Its alright to cry.
If it gets to crazy with my 3 in a store. we go out to the car and figure out the problem, regroup, then go back in and hurry the heck out.

Answer 8

I agree with ar2...
Patience and prayer. At 2 they learn they are thier own person and try to see how far they can go. When you tell her no, stick with it. Give her a firm "No" with eye contact then redirect her attention to something else. Just telling her no will not get her mind off what she wants.

Answer 9

Tell him not to hit and if he keeps it up. Give him a little smack on the but(I'm not saying beat him) just enough to scare him.

Answer 10

Nothing, hon, that's two for ya. Patience and prayer, lol. Seriously, all that worked for me was being consistent and not bending/backing down, and eventually she grew out of it. At two they're just learning to push boundaries and kind of experiment to see what happens if I....

You'll get through it, I guarantee it.