I do'nt know if i'm wrong or if i'm right, but i feel really bad...?

Question

I've been dating this girl now 4 2 months and she is a student and struggling so i've done alot 4 her,everything u could think of i've done for her Like when she said she needed new clothes for a job interview i took her shopping.But when i ask for something she ca'nt do it,she tells me she loves me but does'nt prove it,there;s alot of words but no action.She does'nt call unless she needs something,she tells me that she's really depressed right now,but why should i suffer i want to be there to help her but she won't let me in.I'm at my breaking point i feel that if u do for sum1 that they should give in return but she does'nt..Should i lose her?

Answer 1

It sounds like she considers you her sugar daddy. Lose her.

Answer 2

Brother, take your situation and multiply it by 15 and I have gone through it. You're only her friend man. She's using you as a crutch for her depression but has no intention of establishing a long-term relationship. You can be a great friend to her all you want, but inside you will always want more, so before you get closer look for other girls man. It will be more difficult later if you don't back out now. She's depressed and she'll take anything she can get to feel better.

I'm willing to bet she asks for compliments too? She wants to know if she's pretty and she actually asks you, doesn't she? No matter how many times you compliment her, she's never satisfied and keeps seeking more and more compliments. If I'm right, back away man... back away!

Answer 3

hellloooooo..youre being used!wake up!she only calls you when she wants something.and when you ask for something she wont do it.get rid of her.she's no good.you deserve better.she tells you she's depressed right now probably cause youre not buying her what she wants at the moment.just cut her off.she wont know what she has till its gone.just stop talking to her and she'll realize she had something good and she'll be begging to have you back.so yes.i think you should lose her.find someone who'll appreciate you.

Answer 4

first of all if you are helping her, help her because you want to not because you are looking for something in return. what happened to the job you bought her the clothes for? She is using you get on with it. Find someone that you can spend time with and is not that needy.

Answer 5

Sounds like she may be taking advantage of your good side. I would cut the money off and see if she is still interested.

Answer 6

She's playing you dude!go find some1 who cares....She doesn't,it's quite obvious.If you want to waste more time waiting for the answer you wish you could hear,be my guest.I'm saying DONT BE A SUCKER ANY LONGER!

Answer 7

im going to say that i have guys i do like that and im just using them i only want what i want and thats there money you no how clingy girls get when they really like you youd be mad she wont stop calling insted of her never calling get rid of her

Answer 8

Sounds like she is using you. No one deserves to be used.

Answer 9

MAN GET A NEW GIRL SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS JUST USING YOU

Answer 10

Well, I've been in a similar situation on both sides of this, actually.

The first side is the side of the "poor girl."

If a girl lets you know that she can't afford much in the first place, then it's not fair to do a lot for her and expect the same in return. I was the poor girl saving up for college, and a guy that I had just asked me out knew that I spend about $300 a month total, including rent and food and everything. I stayed at home on weekends because I didn't want to spend money. Well, he basically told me that he wanted to impress me and be a gentleman towards me, so I said ok, you can take me out. Then he started buying me things and taking me out often (in this case, he couldn't really afford it either, he was just going deeper and deeper into debt). Then I decided that I liked the guy enough to be in an actual relationship with him, but at that point he wanted me to pay him back for all those dates, doing special things for him. Not that I'm against doing special things for guys, but he knew I couldn't afford to spend money on him. I did do things like cook him dinner and stuff like that, I just couldn't do things on such a high scale that he did. So, I had to break up with him because he expected too much from me. I wasn't trying to use him, it was just that I couldn't afford to give him back everything he had given me. And he knew that from the start. It sounds like you knew she was poor from the start too.

However, I've also been on the other side.

In my younger days, a guy said he was absolutely in love with me after about a month of dating. And I really loved him as well, but he was one of those tragic cases where his mother left him with his grandparents and nobody ever really took care of him so he had to drop out of high school so he could work to feed himself... He did get his GED, but anyways. He couldn't keep a job and if he did he was too lazy to work it full time, and I ended up lending him money so that we could get an apartment together because he didn't have anyone else to get a roommate with and I was just trying to help him out. Then I would end up giving him rides to work because he didn't have a car and his work was a couple miles away. And they ended up being graveyard shifts, so I would have to wake up at weird hours of the night (while I was going to school for 30 hours a week and working 40 hours a week) to give him rides. And there was a lot more that I did for him, but you get the idea. Basically, I'm not sure he MEANT to be using me, but he sure as hell WAS using me.

You basically have to decide whether she's purposely using you or if she just doesn't understand all that she's taking from you. I think you should just talk to her about it calmly. Let her know that you are starting to feel like she might not care for you as much as you care for her because she isn't really "showing" you that she cares. Keep in mind that buying a person something is NOT the only way to let them know that you care. Let her know that too. Until you figure out whether she's using you or not, I would suggest that when you want to do something special for her, just make her something pretty. If she's really into you, she'll love it probably more than if you take her out on a date.

I definitely think that this problem could be solved if you two just talked openly (and, of course, truthfully!) about it. If you find out that she's only into you for the money... DEFINITELY lose her. You don't need somebody bringing you down like that.

Also, you shouldn't expect a girl (especially so soon in a relationship) to want to "take you out" on dates and things like that. We love to be treated like princesses for a while, but then we (those of use who actually care for you guys and aren't just using you for your money) realize that we need to treat you the same. Eventually, if she's really into you, she will start doing things for you as well. But I don't think we should ever enter into relationships (even friendships) with the mindset that we want to give them something so they will give us something back. That's using people in itself, not being caring.

So, I think for now, you should keep those fifty dollar bills in your pockets and let her know how you are feeling. Don't start dishing it out again until you know that she's into you for real!!