i've made the mistake of letting my ex (long distance, met in college) back into my life. things were good for a while, then the same crap is back again. he expects me to make all the effort to see him yet he doesn't feel like he should because of his "unemployment" situation. he says he's broke and focused on his job search, yet he goes to the casino and golfing with his buddies. i'm fed up with him. i feel sorry for him so i feel like i can't cut him off completely, yet i'm sick of being stepped all over. what should i do?
2007-03-25 15:08:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
get rid of the loser. u deserve better, im serious, dont feel sorry bout cuttin him off cuz if he aint makin a effort 2 get a job then hes gotta go.
2007-03-25 15:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by herimos 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I think you have answered your own question as well. However, I see where you're coming from. You have a strong love for this person it seems and just letting them go is hard so I would say that you give him an ultimatum. Either he starts making an effort first for himself to get a job and he needs to stop spending his time doing things that he really can't afford. And you should come to to an agreement on your time. Your time is just as valuable as his so he needs to pick up the slack. If not, there are other fish in the sea. If he doesn't want to change now, what will happen in the future if you decide to make this last? Doesn't look to good. It's hard but give it some time and thought.
2007-03-25 15:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by luvlinubian 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you already called it a mistake, I think that you know that you need to cut him out of your life. It doesn't sound like you're happy and from the little that you have said here, I can understand why. I wouldn't be too happy if my boyfriend was unemployed and not making an effort but can still spend money golfing and at the casino...there are too many good guys out there to waste your time with him!
2007-03-25 15:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by springfallflowers 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it is to let go of someone that you love. But you have to look at where you are in your life. You are doing good and somewhat have your life together and he doesnt then let him go. The only thing that will happen if you keep him is that he is gonna drag you down. I know you dont want that to happen. You may feel sorry for him but he is a grown *** man you should not be his mommy and take care of him-and you need to tell him that. I dont wanna say hes using you, he may not be, he just needs to grow up though. Dont make the mistake that i did and keep him around just cause you feel sorry for him, because things wont change. Just remember that a zebra never changes it stripes. I wish you the best.
2007-03-25 15:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by carolina gyrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went threw that same thing for 6 years and it is not fun at the end I ended up supporting him and our 3 kids working 2 jobs non stop and not even having time to think. Do not wait that long tell him to leave now cause you don't want the life I had now I am a mother of 3 on my own the only good things that happened was my kids
2007-03-25 15:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump his *** and get a new one because hunny, there's PLENTY out there willing to make an effort. unemployed or not. IN FACT you would think that your ex would be grateful your in his life even though he's a bum! If he has the time during his "unemployment" situation to go out golfing with his buddies and waste money gambling then he sure as hell should be able to muster it up for a woman taking care of him. This free-loader is looking for a mother not a lover.
2007-03-25 15:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by LuvUrGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn, where do you live??? If I could get away with that stuff, that's the women I need. But you did answer you own question. He's a bum. There are more fish out in the sea. But then again, maybe you're one of those girls that enjoy a guy sucking the life out of you. You can find a good man out there, but it may take time. Dump the guy.
2007-03-25 15:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by Carlos G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't you know any single women from college who are doing well financially, are lonely and were truly horrible and bitchy to you and your friends back in college?
Introduce them to each other! Get this leech off your back! He needs to focus on a target, he can't plan for himself; however, you are bright and you owe them a favor. Tell them he's great in bed and you'd hate to lose him. Lend him some black plastic bags and cab fare. Move house, get a new cellphone number. And do yourself a favor - stop doing stuff and meeting people who bore you!
2007-03-25 15:19:17 · answer #8 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If hes unemployed where does he get the money to go to the casino.I work in a casino and see it all the time they come in with money and leave broke!! Kick his A S S to the curb before he bowers money from YOU!!!!!
2007-03-25 15:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there's no love or spark, there's no point in being with him. Just break up with him if you need to, but if you actually love him, talk to him about how much better his life could be if he cleaned up a bit, and how much happier he'd be if he changed. But if he expects stuff out of you, just give him the friendly advice, but I don't think you should be with him still.
2007-03-25 15:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's using your sympathy for his situation to his advantage. You're being weak and allowing him to use you. He's a grown man and it's time you treated him as such. Dump him and find someone worthy of you. How is he ever going to grow up and find his own way with you cushioning his fall? Life too short; let him find his own way without you.
2007-03-25 16:41:21 · answer #11 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋