Whats it mean when a girl says she doesnt want to say no but cant say yes?

Question

This girl I liked once told me when I had a girlfriend that if I was single she'd sleep with me, or that she'd go on dates with me.

Now that Im single she'll hug me out of nowhere, grab my ***, or rub my back for me.

Shes told me things like if I was cheater she'd never give me a chance, and that she thinks about us being together almost everyday.

We have fun together, we laugh and what not, but everytime I try to get her outside of work she makes an excuse for not being able to go out.

Now the thing is I know some of her history, she had a boyfriend that broke her arm, and left her when she got pregnant. So Im thinking maybe shes just scared of guys now.

Now most recently I asked her to hang out with me this weekend and now comes the most confusing thing Ive dealt with from a woman. I told her if she didnt want to hang out that it was cool just and dont be affraid to say no. So her response was "I dont want to say no but I cant say yes"

So what does that mean?

Ok so I went ahead and asked her what "I dont want to say no, but I cant say yes" meant. Her response was something along the lines of I cant really explain it, and I told her to try.

So she kept on with the not knowing how to explain it, that she feels it but doesnt know how to get it out in words.

Then ultimately I got shut down in a polite way I suppose.

I got this out of her, that there are times when she wants to be with me, but also that she thinks its completely wrong to date a co-worker.

Would I be wrong to try and somehow get her to change that no co-worker policy of hers, or would that be more of a bother?

Answer 1

OK, this is what I get out of it. You say she's flirty with you and you guys have a good time, and if I'm understanding you correctly, you either work together or you visit her at her work, right?

So, what I think is that she likes you and is comfortable with you in a more public setting, but maybe after her abusive relationship, she's not ready to deal with a guy on a one-on-one basis. That might be something that takes her a long time to get over.

When she says "I don't want to say no, but I can't say yes", to me it means that she's not saying no because she isn't interested in you, but she's not ready to say yes yet. Basically, she's not shutting you down, she's just not ready YET.

It sounds like you guys are good enough friends that you could probably just ask her if she's just not ready to date yet.

Answer 2

I think you are right and she is scared but honestly, if she was that into you, she would get over that fear and go out with you. She probably just likes having a nice guy in her life and thinks if she gives you a final "no" you will stop being friends. So she strings you along to keep your attention. If you only want to be more than friends and are tired of waiting then just tell her that then make her decide. If you are ok with being friends then take the pressure off her and say " if you are not comfortable with going on a date, we could just hang out as friends. if you dont even want to do that its cool too because I just like talking to you and think you are a good person"

best of luck and I hope this some how helped.

Answer 3

The best thing always to do when you get a statement like that is to ask WHY do you say that? Keep asking why or ask her to explain a little more so you will understand, then you won't have to wonder. But since you didn't do that, my guess is either is doesn't want to do anything with you and she thinks that is a nice way to say it, or she wants some encouragement so she can or will say yes. Go back and say you were thinking about what she said and then ask the big word WHY?

Answer 4

Well, I think you've answered your own question. She was in an abusive relationship. I understand how that is personally. I do want to date, but I think I would freak out if I guy asked me out. She's still got things to work out on her own before she can go any farther. I know with me, I want to go on with my life, but right now, I think I might compare some guy to my ex. It's not fair when the new guy is a good guy, but that's what happens. Give her time. Give her your number. Tell her you understand she needs time and if she feels up to it, have her call you. Be patient with her, but don't become her therapist either. If you start going out and she tells you her life story or compares you too much to the other guy, gently tell her that you don't think she's ready yet. No "Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome".

Answer 5

Maybe she really does like you but there's something going on in her life that doesn't make it possible to go out with you. You said that she had a couple bad experiences with guys in the past so maybe she is nervous to go down that road with you. Try talking to her about it - maybe start hanging out as just friends.

Answer 6

It means she gets a thrill out of making you want her and not letting you have her.Maybe this is why her last boyfriend broke her arm?He got tired of the mind games and emotional abuse and snapped maybe?Dump her she is a whacko and tell her tokeep her hands off of you or youll file a sexual harrassment suit, and say it like your mad.Oh she will boo hoo and stuff, but ignore it.She will think twice before treating another decent guy like she is treating you.

Answer 7

I think she's a player and kind of weird, if she's making excuses to NOT hang out with you ....im afraid it's a definite no.

Answer 8

I think that some of it may be that she's scared. Other possibilities:
-she's a tease
-she wants to be single
-she's a, um, ho
-she feels that you have different intentions that she does
-she's just not into you

Answer 9

it means she really likes you and wants to be with you but her past is telling her to restrain from possibly making the same mistakes.

Answer 10

Forget that chick, on the real