I'm moving on and I'm no longer falling in love so easily?

Question

I've been missing a girl for 11 months. I hadn't been bugging her since she didn't want to talk to me anymore. We said hi occasionally, I thought things would be cool between us. I tried to talk to her. I said Hey how are you? She said nothing. I tried to talk about how she was helping with something (she was inactive at the moment). Still nothing. I told her I know we haven't talked in the longest time (I liked her, then fell in love with her, but she never liked me back), but I only wanted us to be friends again. I couldn't bring myself to say I missed her because it seemed like she wasn't hearing me. She kept her back turned towards me, unlike when I saw her sneak so many glances at me this past year. She texted on her phone. She never even looked at me, never said a word. I wanted to say what I felt about her, but all my feelings about her besides "I love you" wouldn't come up. I wanted to say I love you. I just said "ok, I get the point, you don't have to say anything else.

I guess I'll just see you around." She talked to everyone in the hall but me. I left her. I'm wondering what should I do for her birthday next week? I'm going to ask her friends what kind of gifts she likes. I think I probably should just tell her happy birthday to show that I remember. Maybe I shouldn't even say that. After that, I'm forgetting all about her because ain't nothin ever gon change.

I'll ask this in the form of a poll. Should I-
#1-Buy her a birthday gift and hand it to her
#2-Just say happy birthday to her (she's turning 17 and I'm 17)
#3-Completely ignore her
If I completely ignored her (which she did to me this year on my birthday and she knew it was my birthday) wouldn't that just be being immature or doing evil for evil? Even though I think that's what I have to do.

Today I thought and I realized that in the last month of us talking, when she got angry at me, I had not done A THING to her. I was changing what she said I was doing wrong. Below are extra details which aren't required reading for answering the question.

EXTRA DETAIL-NO NEED TO READ THIS TO ANSWER THE QUESTION: I've been hurt before by crushes every single time, but this is the first time I've fallen in love. I learned something though; just because a girl seems like she has everything I've been looking for, doesn't mean she's the girl for me. She could change up anytime. I'm never leaving myself open for getting hurt by falling in love again, because I'm not giving her my heart until she earns it. This is the first time I've fallen in love but it's the last straw, the last time I try to be someone for somebody. Like my name says from this song, I got this Icebox where my heart used to be.

EXTRA DETAIL-NO NEED TO READ THIS TO ANSWER THE QUESTION: When I liked her, she said she had liked me first. Then I asked her how she liked me the next day and she said she didn't know. It wasn't until a month later she said she didn't like me, but I really liked her. The girl I fell in love with was a really shy, sweet, funny, beautiful girl. At least, I always felt she was beautiful even though everyone around me said she's just alright and she's no one special. I have this false, ridiculous small ray of hope that maybe one day she'll talk to me but I just don't want to try anymore.

If anyone says that I'm stalking, PLEASE explain HOW? When I'm NOT TALKING (except for what I've said), CALLING, or SHOWING ANY ATTENTION TOWARDS HER?

I'm just saying, I'm getting tired of people answering that I'm stalking when I'm not

Answer 1

oh my goodness.. I don't even really know what to Fully say... I want to tell you so much that I don't even know where to begin. well first of all (to let you know who's perspective you are getting from) I am also 17 and I have recently been in a Very similar situation as you. We are like one in the same.. but I want to tell you to NOT give up on love.. you don't have to feel like you Should Not love someone.. because crap happens and people get their heart broken all the time.. but that doesn't mean you shouldn't love again. love is precious.. and you just fell for a girl that didn't deserve your love, because she didn't Appreciate it and Realize all she is missing out on. You are an Amazing guy.. you sound so incredibly sweet. I really hope you don't give up on love and continue to have a bitter outlook on relationships because of this and you getting hurt. you WILL get over her and find someone that Deserves you and can love you completely, and to the extent that you give love. you need someone who can Return your love.. this girl does not realize what she is missing out on.. and it's HER loss. Now, i went through the whole same type of birthday present situation.. and you just have to tell yourself NO you should not get her a Present... because You will end up getting disappointed. Some friends really helped put that situation in perspective for me.. because i myself figured if i got him some amazing thoughtful gift that showed how much i knew him and cared about him then he would basically suddenly come to Realization... which of course isn't usually Real Life. If you've been missing her for 11 months.. and she Still is being completely immature about the whole thing.. that's ridiculous. she was SO LUCKY to have you. she is the one at loss.. she had such an amazing guy who would care SO MUCH about her.. and she Still doesn't want you... that's NOTHING to do with Your fault. I have always also been the one to Care SO MUCH about the guy and have the same type of situations you have had.. and the truth of the matter is that you are SO AMAZING and you need to realize that if you are putting your love out there for someone and caring about them and think the world of them.. and they don't return those feelings.. then why would you want someone like that..? i know it's hard. but you need to know that YOU too deserve those things in return. you deserve to also be loved and to be cared about. Especially since you are sweet enough to be able to give so much. PLEASE don't change for the worse and have a negative outlook on girls and loving them just because of this one girl. I know you loved her.. but LOVE Is worth the risk of getting hurt Again. it truly is.. don't give up on it! If you really want to wish her a happy birthday, then just Know that she probably might blow off your nice gesture.. so are you willing to put up with that.. because I think that you only are wanting to do something special mainly in a slight hope that still lingers inside you to get her back. and are you going to be even more hurt when she doesn't return the gesture and play the picture you have going on in your mind that everything will be perfect and she will love it and realize she loves you. because it doesn't sound to me like she will be doing this... but you can wish her a happy birthday and be the bigger person. but i wouldn't get her a present.. she's not worth that spent money, when she probably won't think much of it. if you really want her to know how you feel you can tell her... but just realize you are putting your heart on the line and she might still be ignorant and immature. I can't believe that she is still ignoring you after how good you've been trying to treat her. one day she will probably come to realization of how lucky she was to have someone like you and someone who actually Loved her.. but by then I hope you will have moved on to someone who Fully deserves you. Best wishes to you. You deserve the best.

Answer 2

Don't let what happened between you and her determine how you act in your future relationships. Stay as sweet as you are. The right girl will appreciate it. Most Girls love guys like you. Try talking to her. Ask her or write to her and ask her to forgive you for whatever it is that you have done to her and promise to never do it again. Girls are very different from boys. What might seem like nothing to a boy, might seem like something to a girl.
~Good Luck~

Answer 3

Not doing anything for her birthday is not returning evil for evil. She didn't do anything for your birthday, you are not on good terms with each other - this is just not a relationship that is at the point of recognizing each other's birthdays. You are simply respecting her space and sticking to the trend she has already set. Don't waste another worry on this.

Answer 4

all right. so first matters first. whilst he's calm.. give an explanation for to him that you just fully grasp he does not wanta divorce and you do not both HOWEVER a few matters MUST difference.. or the danger ofthat going down one day will unluckily expand.. considering you can't keep in an unsatisfied marriage that's now not getting higher. that being stated. for dinner you might have 2 choices. loved ones time for dinner it is a very main events on your little one to develop up with.. so.. alternative #a million do not provide him the alternative of wherein to devour. set the desk, placed the meals in his situation on the desk and inform him to sit down and devour.. if he refuses.. maintain it on the desk.. he will come sit down whilst hes hungry ample and be taught time for dinner is on the desk. Option #two weekdays, he can devour anywhere he needs, however weekends he eats on the loved ones dinner desk. decide upon whichever you believe is quality. onto getting the spark again.. so long as you're having intercourse two occasions a month you're regarded a sexually energetic couple.. so check out to not consciousness on intercourse itself such a lot.. discover intimacy in different matters. whilst the child is in mattress take a bathtub or bathe in combination ( that is enjoyable and does not require so much power) depart him lovely love be aware submit-its on his table or toilet reflect and so on. useful matters "i like you" "you're making me smile" and so on. reminisce in combination approximately well reminiscences you proportion, lovely moments you had.. and so on. plan a unique romantic night time or afternoon prematurely in order that he is aware of to arrange and now not be worn out or something. praise HIM despite the fact that he says not anything again.. maintain doing it.. finally the notion of compliments with input his mind and he will begin doing it to you all via himself. respect small matters/gestures. check out to not over count on. that approach he wont believe like he is consistently now not doing a well ample process.. if he feels that approach it is most likely going to motive him not to desire to take a look at anymore. allow him recognize you appreciate and respect any upgrades he makes. quality of success.

Answer 5

Just forget about her and get a new girlfriend. There are plenty of girls out there.