2007-03-25 14:50:01 · 20 answers · asked by CL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its hard to forget a first love, but think of it this way, there must have been something wrong at one point to make the relationship end, that problem wont have magically disappeared. You have moved on and met a new man whom you love dearly enough to agree to marry. Seeing an old flame would definitely bring back old feelings, but would you really be better off with him instead of the man you felt stable enough to spend you life with the day before you saw him again. Chances are that you wouldnt. Its so common to get jitters before your wedding day, we have all benn through them. I ran the gammit of feelings before I married my husband 8 years ago I wondered if he was really the right man, would he be able to make me happy for the rest of my life, would he be a good father for my children when we had them, was he the only man I wanted to kiss for the rest of my life? I questioned myself constantly starting about 2 months before hand. But I can honestly say that when I woke up the morning of my wedding, I was never more sure of anything. And all the ex boyfriends paled in comparison to my husband. I almost ran down the aisle that morning I couldnt wait to be his wife.
What you are feeling is completely normal, you are just getting MARRIED!!!!
Best of luck to you!
2007-03-25 15:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are probably many reasons that you and your first love are no longer together. The second thoughts are just a case of cold feet. You know that you and your first love are not going to get back together. The woman you are about to marry loves you and you love her, so forget about the romantic vision of you and your first love running across the beach in slow motion and marry the woman you know will be there for you......Or ask the first love if she wants to do it and if so run off with her to Vegas and get married .....your choice
2007-03-25 15:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by calired67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our first loves will always have a special place in our hearts. It doesn't mean you haven't moved on. HOWEVER...it depends on what your second thoughts are based on. If there is a possible reconciliation with your first love and you are interested in pursuing it, then don't get married b/c you're not committed to the newby. If, however, you're just fixating on perhaps comparing your first love to your current love and rehashing fond memories....re-examine why your current love is your potential spouse and the qualities that attrac you. Then think about why it didn't work out with your first love when you had the chance with 'em.
2007-03-25 15:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by SnowWhite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the ex out of the equation, and also take the wedding plans out, and the deposits you made. Don't ask yourself anything except this:
"Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with my fiance?" Remember that in June you're making a lifetime commitment.
You're not having a party, or getting to wear a really pretty dress, or getting a lot of presents, you're agreeing to spend your whole life with one man, and no other.
If you're having second thoughts just from seeing your ex, I would cancel the wedding.
2007-03-25 15:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by rn7471 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not stand at that alter with one single doubt. You will save yourself such a unrepairable scar. Yes we all move on, but divorce changes you forever. Mine fortunately, was for the better, but it was the battle of my life. You don't marry with doubt; you marry knowing 100% that your safe and in love, really in love. You only live once so the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with should be all you want and need. Nothing less; and your partner deserves the same.
2007-03-25 16:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by 4nowgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I would suggest you find someone to talk this through with.
ask your self
Why did you and your first love break up?
Could you see yourself marrying him?
Have you thought about him frequently?
Who is a better friend to you?
Do you see yourself having a family and growing old with your first love?
Most importantly: Were you having second thoughts before you ran into your first love? If you were then you need to seriously think about this engagement but if you were perfectly happy then your first love probably just brought back a few old feelings. Its normal to be nervous and scared. you just have to find out why.
2007-03-25 14:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first loves are just that you will all ways love them couse they taught you so much. but you broke up for a reason. and june is not that far away so you are just getting nervous. don't think about it and relax your day is coming and i'm sure it will be great and the new guy will make you much happier than an old love that didn't pan out the first time around.
2007-03-25 14:56:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're having second thoughs... maybe the guy you're marrying isn't your true love. Just ask yourself which person is the one that you want to be with the rest of your life, that you want to have a family with, that you can rely on to get advice, etc.
2007-03-25 14:58:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my thought's I'am now 58 and my 1st love is still out there!! I have thought of her every day for the last 38 year's ! I was divorced 8 year's ago, married twice ! why you might ask..Had I married my first love we would be coming up on 38 happy years together !!! Donot marry till you know for a fact !!! your first will never leave your head....if you can marry her do so........I have felt the pain.....now I can't find her ! Theresa was her name..............
2007-03-25 15:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by James k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having second thoughts about marriage especially if it is because you may still have feelings for someone else you shouldn't get married. Would you want someone to marry you if they had feelings for someone else? Spare the other persons feelings and yours as well. Good luck to you!
2007-03-25 14:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by lslbyd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋