This friend is pregnant and refuses to stop drinking, smoking cigarettes and marijuana. She also snorts coke. This is her third child (her mother cares for the other two), she about to be put out, lights off, can barely keep a steady job, no education and is 28 years old. She is sickening and everyday I check on her because I am worried about her. The other situation is - her partner is incarcerated (as are the other two dads), Her life is a mess, but I want to help. What are the chances that I can take her to court and try to adopt or foster parent this child. I know she will hate me, and I have already hinted that I would help her with the child, but I want this child to have a better chance in life. She doesn't like or want to read, she is totally selfish and really does not love this child otherwise she would not do this. What can I do? I would really like to have some responsible and knowledgeable, legal responses if possible. I am already on the foster parent list.
2007-03-25 14:32:47 · 17 answers · asked by THE SINGER 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You won't have to do a thing. If this is all accurate and not just an assumption, then the baby will be born with obvious signs that mom abused drugs and alcohol while pregnant. The baby will require extensive medical treatment as he/she will go thru the same type of withdrawal symptoms as a full grown adult would. This baby will not go home with mom until mom has received medical treatment and counseling, court intervention, etc. to prove that she can be a fit mother.
This sounds as if it's been an ongoing issue with this woman. I mean no disrespect, but I think earlier intervention was definitely warranted. Eight months of this type of behavior has already done damage.
2007-03-25 15:00:12 · answer #1 · answered by Madre 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm not proud of this in the slightest, but I smoked all throughout my pregnancy. I tried to quit so many times, but I just couldn't. The best I could do was cut back. I felt so horrible about it. I was so worried about what it was doing to my baby, but for some reason, I continued to do it. I suppose it was pure selfishness on my part. But I got incredibly lucky. My son is 4 months old and as close to perfect as they come. He was born November 4th, 2010 at 7lbs, 7oz and 20 inches. He has absolutely no medical problems whatsoever. Like I said, very lucky. I thank God every day for this amazing healthy little boy, who, by the way, just started rolling over about 3 days ago! lol. I'm fully aware that this is not always the outcome for women who smoke during pregnancy. I'm truly blessed. I honestly don't think that smoking 1 cigarette a month or even 2 a month is going to hurt your baby. Some of these people's comments are just rude and unnecessary. Ignore them. You seem to be doing everything right for your baby. I mean, besides those three cigarettes. You're gonna be an amazing mama. Don't stress about it. Your baby will be perfectly fine. I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your pregnancy. And congratulations on your sweet little peanut!
2016-03-29 05:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why and how you're friends! Usually birds of a feather flock together. My hat goes off to you for being able to stay clean around a "friend" like that.
Your friend is basically a drug. So she walks, talks, and thinks about drugs. She has an addiction. Love has nothing to do with why she does what she does. Your friend isn't really "there". She needs love and help.
Until we, as a nation, realize that it is more cost effective to spend money in drug intervention than to prosecute and let the problem perpetuate, then it will only get worse.
Have a family intervention to bring her into rehabilitation. Save her and you've saved the family.
Where would we be if everytime someone got addicted had their family ripped from them? Betty Ford was an addict. Back then they didn't have the knowledge and resources they do now. No one took her children.
Judy Garland, Whitney Houston, Ted Kennedy, etc... the list doesn't end.
Instead of thinking about taking the children away, let's think about giving the mother back. Intervention can start tonight. Tomorrow. Two days from now. Do it.
Save her and you've saved a family.
Thank God you care. She's lucky to have you. I wish you well.
2007-03-25 15:18:50 · answer #3 · answered by lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from being a whistleblower and calling CPS, there is nothing else you can do. Your friend is a grown woman who can make her own decisions. Her choices now are going to have worse effects soon both to her and her baby. It's her life. It's unfortunate that she chooses to bring this problem into her life when all the info about doing smoking, alcohol, and drugs is out there.
Some people just have to learn things the hard way.
2007-03-25 14:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must call social services! As a foster parent myself -- I think it would be best if they find a different family for this child. I think the farther from mom the better probably. She shouldn't know the address of where her baby is.
2007-03-25 14:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by momchelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't condem your actions thus far as both people are still alive, your friend and her unborn child, however I pose this one question to you, if you walked past a burning building and saw a woman and her child just standing there, they are not screaming they are just standing in the window of a burning building, what would you do? what ever you would do for those unfortunate souls , do for your friend and her unborn child who are both trapped in the burning building of her body..
2007-03-25 17:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by Daddy in a box :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anybody who tells you there's nothing you can do is WRONG! You need to call the child protective agency and the police. You are allowing her to harm her children and you don't do anything about it. Take care of this because your friend is not strong enough to.
2007-03-25 15:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the baby is born if it test positive for drugs it will be automatically taken away but i would call soical services and see what else you can do but anyways I would not be friends with this lady she sounds like bad news
2007-03-25 15:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do really - but it's possible to undertake an intervention. Talk to a substance abuse hospital or counselor.
2007-03-25 14:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your best bet is to notify social services and start the process of adopting the baby as soon as it's born......for the adoption procces you'll probably want to get sheck stubs together because i know salary is important when they consider you...
2007-03-25 14:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Laree 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋