heres some:
-A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!
-A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."
-After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
-At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,
"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."
enjoy
2007-03-25 14:30:30
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Whats the useless skin called at the end of the penis? A Man
Why do women have the babies not the men?
When God made man,he was only joking.
Why should you trust something that bleeds for 5-7 days and doesnt die?
Why do men have nipples?
Whats the difference between men and women? if you had to read the answer chances are you did understand the above jokes!!!?????????
2007-03-25 21:39:13
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answer #2
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answered by Raine 2
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Drunk walks into a bar.Sees a lady at a table with a drink. Walks over to her and kisses her on the mouth. Lady stands up and slaps the drunk. Drunk says" Sorry, but you look like my wife". Lady says "why you lousy no good drunken"--
Drunk says "wow you even sound like my wife".
2007-03-25 21:35:21
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answer #3
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answered by Jackolantern 7
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