My boyfriend hates the way he is... He says he's too fat, he doesn't like the way he looks... I try to tell him that he's fine the way he is, but he doesn't believe me... He's really self-conscious, and he worries a lot about what other people think. He's been bullied when he was younger about being gay, just because he had girls as friends. I don't know what to do... I try to help him realize that he's fine the way he is, but he never believes me. What should I do?
2007-03-25 14:17:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm so sorry to tell you, but this situation is very difficult to handle and i know this for a fact! My bf acts the same way. It's their insecurities, but you can't change them. They have to be willing to change for themselves.
Just keep showing him that you care and he will soon realize it one way or another. And if not, if it ever ends, he will be the one feeling sorry for losing someone who truly cared, not you.
Explain to him that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, that this relationship is between you and him, not "the world." I'm sure his past was difficult, I dealt with the same mockery, but as ironic as this sounds, my bf didn't have to go through that problem, but for some strange reason I seem to be the stronger one. Of course, I have my deal of insecurities, but I let that go. I try my hardest at being positive and making him feel that it will be ok.
Once again, just show him all you can that you care & tell him straight up about the ending. That if he lost you, that it would be his ordeal, his lost. He will be the one losing you...the person who always cared and never mocked him!!
Good luck & take care! And hang in there! =)
2007-03-25 14:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by micolperu317 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have sort of the same problem, only I don't pressure myself into thinking that all the time. I just like reassured sometimes.
Basically just compliment him most of the time, tell him he really looks good in [insert clothing here], and also how is it gay of him to have more girl friends than guy friends? Heck, that gives him a better perspective on what women want!
2007-03-25 14:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by Kris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is to believe, you can not change a person. It does sound like this guy has some major problems and you cant really do much about it. Either put up with it or walk away.
2007-03-25 14:19:36 · answer #3 · answered by Loco 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how he feels. Dont push me. Most of the people who make fun of eachother are very insecure. Ask him why it is so important that he id good ennough for them. Last time I checked life was about living for yourself. It might take him a while, and I know it did with me.
2007-03-25 14:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by gloria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has low self-esteem. There is not a whole lot more you can do. Just keep telling him you like him the way he is.
2007-03-25 14:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by The Real McCoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my bf had the same issue. he thought he was too fat and not smart. I thought he was cute, and very smart. just keep telling him that he's great compliment him when ever he says that he's no good. it will eventually work. it just takes time....sometimes a lot of time...
hope thats helpful and good luck! :]
2007-03-25 14:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your thoughts of him is more important than others, he is just the exact guy you want to be with,... tell him changing now is a big mistake... Good luck!
2007-03-25 14:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring a gay guy around him and see if he goes for it. He sounds like a fruitcake to me.
2007-03-25 14:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know because i think you're already doing a very good job on helping him but he also has to contribute u know?
2007-03-25 14:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by The Taste U can See 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your man needs to get a grip on life and just love himself the way he is ....
2007-03-25 14:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by E.M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋