On several occasions, I have gotten gifts that were so abysmal, I wished I had gotten nothing at all.
One time, a friend came from abroad to spend a few months in my house. He presented me with a t-shirt.... the ugliest, most god-aweful t-shirt you could imagine. It wasn't just a matter of taste; he never wore anything like this, and everyone agreed this was something he picked up at the airport out of a remainder bin.
Another time, I let a family stay with me, rather than letting them spend thousands of dollars on an apartment for the summer. I also lent them my car many days, while I took the train. This time, I had no worries about bad gifts. They gave me nothing.
Recently, I had another foreign visitor. He presented me with a tin of cookies, a $3 tin of cookies. Of all the bad gifts, this one was probably the least offensive, but I would rather get nothing than some weak excuse for a real gift.
In each case, money was not a problem for them
.
How do you feel?
2007-03-25 14:02:01 · 12 answers · asked by pachl@sbcglobal.net 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would feel very unappreciated :( Those people have no manners at all. It also sounds like you willingly let yourself be taken advantage of.. have you not heard the old expression that guests, like fish, stink after 3 days? :)
Don't let these people take advantage of your generosity.. they aren't worth it.
2007-03-29 12:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone was close family I would not expect a gift.
With regard to the other cases, I can sympathize with you. But ask your self if you enjoyed their company? You were not acting as their land lord - you were acting as one friend to another. Maybe they think that they will reciprocate for you some day? Did they inivite you back with them? Have you stayed with them before? Would you have rathered that they had stayed somewhere else than with you?
If you don't want some one with you, don't offer your place. If you choose to give - then be like the apple tree. An apple tree gives its fruit and won't expect return. Give and don't expect repayment and you won't be dissapointed. The world works in mysterious ways and because you are kind in one area of it, you will often get kindness back from a different part of it.
2007-03-25 16:54:29 · answer #2 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely agree with you. They are cheapskates that take advantage of you. I was raised to show appreciation when someone does something significant for me. When I visit friends out of town I always take a gift, bake a cake, something to show appreciation, not a $3 box of cookies.
I also have friends that are cheapskates but have some other redeeming qualities that I appreciate. If it is one way street I cut them loose. You have to decide then what to do about it, if you like them enough to be taken advantage of.
By the way, how would you like to get "slightly imperfect socks" (label) or food that doesn't smell very fresh?
2007-03-25 16:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is horrible. But at least a T-shirt you can wear when you cut the grass, or paint a room. I have friend who give me big platters and fruit bowls every year for watching their house for them while they go away. The problem is I have no storage so I have them sitting on top of the fridge and on my counter and dishwasher. It is ridiculous. But how do you say stop without hurting their feelings. Plus, it is only my husband and I who live here, so why would I need a platter the size of a car tire? Yeah, I hear ya.
2007-03-25 14:18:31 · answer #4 · answered by angel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the person does not really know me like say a secret santa thing to get to know each other kind of thing then it's ok to get cheap gifts, but if it was someone I knew for a while then a bad gift would be a bit bad.
However, if I know that that person is having financial problems then I would understand.
2007-03-25 14:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Hello K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the person doesn't know me well, I just shrug it off and put it in my 're-gift' pile. But, if it's someone close to me I feel kind of insulted. Like, once my mom gave me random crap from Wal-mart--a weird Victorian footstool, a make your own watch kit and an ugly pair of earrings. It was like she completely forgot who I was and what I liked. It might be selfish, but I much prefer cash or gift cards. That way they feel good for giving you the gift and you get exactly what you want.
2007-03-25 14:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have the opposite problem....I get alot of gifts from my mom that are just junk...things that clutter my minuscule apartment...things i will never use like hundreds of dollars worth of craft crap (i am not crafty and never will be). I feel really bad because of the amount of money she spends on something I end up giving away for free.
2007-03-25 14:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You learn about them, so now you know not to let that family stay at your house again, they show no appreciation.
At X-Mas time my extended family buys me stuff i dont like, obvious things for 99 cents.. I dont buy them anything nice in return or do them favours.. One time I treated my cousin and her husband to dinner who were visting my town, i spent about $500 on them with their kids, they ordered the most expensive plates..
When i was in their town, they didnt even invite me over,, my cousin came to meet me, i wound up driving her around-treated her the whole day, then she screamed as loud as she could at my posh hotel that she refuses to pay $20 for parking her car there. She wanted me to pay..
I got the message loud and clear. When she was in my town again, I said "wow im so busy".. no treats anymore..
I think gifts people teach you alot about how they are..
2007-03-25 16:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd just be thankful that they they thought enough about me to get me something. you should be thankful for the shirt and the tin of cookies..........both of these gifts can be put to god use!
2007-03-25 15:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by boredoutmymind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So basicly when let people to stay at your place you expenct very nice gift from them at the end?
Well....people are differet...and maybe in their opinion THANK YOU is more then enough...
Stop siting around and waiting for other people to give you nice presents...go out there and make it happen urslf...
I am married for 4 years nice...and in all holidays and anniverseries and Birtdhays..my husband gave me NOTHING..not even the card..and one time when i got really mad and started screaming at him..i guess he realized that i really need cards and flowers so he went next day and got me flowers...i mean common..next day?..after screaming?......
So then i realized...it stupid for me to sit and wait till he will be kind enough to get presents..and i am not a bad wife......i am not cheating.....i cook..pretty good actually..i clean house i work i go to college....and still..he seems that THANK YOU is more then enough for me....so now i just buy presents for myself....not cause its my birthday..but cause it s monday or tuesday.........
You should do the same thing.....stop doing any favor for people....and live for yourself!!!!!!!
2007-03-25 14:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Damask Rose 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋