im 18 and pregnant and i want women who have had children at young ages to tell me their experiences and how it changed their lives for the better or worse. does having a baby at a young age really ruin your life,body,friends,education etc.?
2007-03-25 13:06:25 · 19 answers · asked by jordan herne 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I got pregnant with my first child at the age of 18 also. I was 19 when I had him. His birth did nothing but bring joy to my life. My husband and I could not have been happier. I don't feel like it ruined my life at all. I did lose a couple of friends just because they were into the parting scene and I was into staying home with my child or taking him with me. I currently have two kids and I'm pregnant with #3. I'm am also studying to be an RN. I am a stay at home mom so its easier to take classes. I guess your it depends on your situation. Some people have it harder than I do because they have to work a full time job. I would not change a thing, especially the ages I had my kids.
2007-03-25 13:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by sd03bc06 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't have a baby yet but from watching some friends go through motherhood I can say it does not ruin everyone's life. It depends on how you look at the situation. If you expect to live life the same way as before: having time to yourself, going out when you feel like it, less responsibilities, keeping all the same friends as before the pregnancy- I think having a child would not be a positive thing for the person who expects these things and is not thinking realistically. Becoming a parent changes your life but it is wonderful to have a child if you're ready to accept the changes ahead and create a new life. You might not have all the same friends as you used to because being a mother forces you to mature a bit (which is a positive thing) but some people don't understand it and won't be able to cope with the new you. The friends you keep are your real friends anyway. As for your education it's still possible to finish college but you need to work hard and plan for someone to take care of the baby while you study and go to classes. The good news is they have a lot of online classes now so it's more flexible.
I love kids but I'm focused on building my career as a school teacher right now. I love hearing their stories about life: losing baby teeth, going to the park, their talent shows and recitals and I hope to have a child of my own one day to experience these things with. There may be some sacrifices and things that have to wait, but there is a lot of fun ahead too.
2007-03-25 13:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by M N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 35 now with 3 children - i was also pregnant with my first at age 18. I think it all depends on your own situation. You will need a lot of family support and be willing to give up YOUR freedom, because your baby will and should be your first priority. I was content with being a mom, i am still with the father of all 3 which has not been an easy road. I love them all 3 dearly, but now that i am getting older i understand why parents tell you to wait. I wish i would have went to college then , instead of now ( it is hard going back to school while raising 3 kids, and working full time ) and i am sure it would have been more fun then! LOL
It is not easy, and if you don't think you can devote 100% to your baby, adoption is always an option. Good luck to you!
2007-03-25 13:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by ***35*** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know you asked for women who had babies at a young age but if you dont mind id like to chime in.
If you want the baby you can make it work at any age. it definitly changes your life !I dont care what age you are. Because of medical problems when i was young i wasnt able to concieve.I gave birth to my first child at 33.and now im acting mother to 7 children! only 3 are of my flesh the others are gifts from God.I couldnt imagine life without any of them.
but I also cant imagine having a child at 18 ,Man !my life was such a mess at that time .I had friends at school having babies and it really messed with their finishing school.most did,nt .and none went on to college. I didnt get my crap together till i was 25 or so. I went to college ,had a life, made friends ,went places and finaly got tired of so much freedom. then i was blessed with my children and there is no turning back and i would,nt want to. Im a better person because of my kids! yes it changes friends ,but you find new friends that fit in with your life style.
dont let this discourage you too much, and I hope abortion is,nt an option for you. If you decide that you are not ready to be a parent please consider adoption.It,s an awesome gift of love.
peace><>
2007-03-25 13:40:53 · answer #4 · answered by matowakan58 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily, I guess it depends on your point of view, there was a time when many young women were married at 14 and 15 years of age, becoming pregnant soon after being married, one thing you now have more than yourself to care for, and no matter what others say not all young women are prepared for this type of responsibility, this is a matter you must decide, body wise, keeping fit is a matter of exercise, it will affect friendships, as not all your friends will want to be around someone who now has "a kid " Education is a matter of will, and there are programs that will assit a young mother with her education.
2007-03-25 13:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am 15 and I have a 16 year old sister who just had a baby 4 months ago and the same day she had the baby I found out I was pregnant and me and my sister both agree that having kids at young ages are really stupid which kinda shows how smart we are but my sister has been stressing really bad and that makes me stress and a lot of stress is really really bad.....the only good thing about my pregnancy and maybe my sisters is that it has brought me closer to my family and my boyfriend and his family. My boyfriend was automatically willing to help and be there for me and so were his parents and mine. As far as school.....we have a stupid policy were you get "kicked" out when you hit 5 months pregnant which really pisses me off but it is going to make me have to take the whole grade over as for my friends....they're really stupid and are trying to get pregnant because I am and they don't want me to feel " Left Out " or whatever the fuc* they call it. I don't think it ruins your life but it does alter it in a bad way because you won't be able to do the things you used to like party and hang out with friends.
2007-03-25 13:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was my experience:
was an honor student
got together with a friend, turned boyfriend (same age)
got pregnant at 16
was "sent away"
gave birth at 17
got GED at end of Junior year
came back home
didn't go to college
continued relationship with baby's father
had odd jobs
moved in with baby's father
had more odd jobs
didn't get to go out with friends
never had enough money
never was able to have a nice car
married baby's father
had another baby
moved out of state
had more odd jobs
had third baby
got a great job
found out husband was cheating
divorced
found a new man
moved out of state
And, that's my life in a nutshell. I'm 31 now.
2007-03-25 13:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really ruin your life you just won;t get to do all the things that you did before the baby.when your friends will be going to the beach for the day with all your old friends 'you;ll be home with the baby doing mom things ;like cleaning 'diaper changing 'laundry ect,,,one thing though that you'll have that they won;t is a beautiful baby that loves you no matter what...and to see your baby walking and crawling for the first time will make it all worth while...I hope you have your mom or a relative that can help you when you need a break for a DAY or so' as being a parent can make you really tired sometimes.....I never had anyone to give me a break with my son' but i wouldn;t trade my life with him for anything in this world.....take care =ENJOY YOUR LIFE AS WE ONLY LIVE ONCE GOODLUCK WITH YOUR BABY ALSO .PS I HAD MY SON WHEN I WAS 16 SO I REALLY LOST PART OF MY CHILDHOOD' BUT I DIDN;T MIND AT ALL,.,.
2007-03-25 13:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is what you make it!!
like all things in life, it's important to have a positive attitude about where you're at and where you're going. that will make the road ahead so much easier. ALSO, your baby will thank you for accepting him/her wholeheartedly. any negative thoughts/feelings you're having are also felt by your baby!
i have seen many young mothers go from reckless and futureless to hard-working and responsible. when you have a child, you learn FAST to put others before you. you see that the world is NOT all about you. learning that will help you in all other areas of your life (job, relationships, parenting).
no, you probably won't have much to talk about with your current friends once the baby shows up. but that just means you get to go find new friends.
pregnancy is a great opportunity to instill positive habits for your body. you won't be partying for 9+ months, which will ADD years to your life. you'll also have to watch what you eat more closely, as well as start an exercise regime. most 18 year olds don't worry about these things until they're old and wrinkled!! you'll get to enjoy a healthy body for many years to come, provided you keep the habits from your pregnancy. track down some creams and lotions to keep stretch marks at bay, and see an alternative medicine doctor for other suggestions (massage therapist, chiropractor, YOGA instructor).
as far as your education goes: having a baby means you won't have time to get in trouble, slack off or go to parties. also, if you're going to college, you'll be able to live off-campus--which means you get some freedoms that the other students aren't getting. you do NOT need to go to college. having a baby forces you to find options that make sense. do some real research on what kind of field you want to get started with (you WILL change your job!). most sales jobs give you a flexible schedule and FREE training, not to mention BETTER pay. and, yes, you're more likely to make the sale if you mention you have a kid! :)
look on the bright side! make a plan for the future! look forward to seeing your beautiful baby!
2007-03-25 13:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by gertieok 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i had my first son at a young age and it didn't ruin my life. the person who said you have to drop out of school is wrong. i continued school and i am now a doctor. when you have a child at a young age it just means you have to work a little bit harder. the only thing i think it changed for me is that i didn't have any time to hang with friends but if i didn't have a child i probably wouldn't have time to hangout with them anyways because of all of my schooling. so i don't really think it changed anything for me.
2007-03-29 04:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by moore_256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋